When both husband and wife earn----- do you think this ensures better happiness

Hi, These are the times of dual income for a household. But sometimes it happens that both the couple work hard to meet the ends with the high cost of living. So it becomes necessary for some to earn and support the family. Apart from this, if a couple has enough money then too we have heard of murders and divorces among young married couples. So money is definitely not giving you sole happiness. Yes, you can have an improved quality life style and spent on brands. There are also couples who earn well but still have conflicts. After all marital happiness is not all about money, but we also need to consider love, understanding, trust, bond and a lot more..........

Hi dear, Even though money cannot provide happiness, it has its own role in our life. If the couples have a good financial background it helps upto a certain extent to live the life happily. However, a better financial background does not ensure the happiness in life. I think it wholly depends on the individuals, how they deal with the situation. You may agree that love marriages are increasing in India day by day. Most probably problems start in their life due to financial insecurity. They lose the ‘love’ in between when they struggle to meet the both ends. If the couples have enough money then there may be some others issues like adjustment with the partner’s nature, trust, ego etc. I knew very well how it is difficult to adjust with the cost of living and the income in this place. If you have school/college going children then you just can’t imagine the expenditure for their studies. If both partners are working then we can care better the expenditure. So in my opinion, money has its own role in our life. I would like to reiterate money is not everything too.

When you consider how many rich people have divorces, I would say "no"

Dear Kalav Well, you might have this discussion in the Indian Context but I think it is more about families all across the world. The only question here is "Whose Happiness?" - the happiness of the parents (the hubby and wife who are both earning) or the happiness of the entire family as a whole? From the children's point I think this is the worst scenario to happen as there is no one to take care of the child - this leads to many psychological and other complexities. We are now a days not interested for the Joint Family System anymore and so it has much of loneliness for the Child. From the happiness of the earners, well, at end, they might make a lot of money but when it comes to other things, we rarely find that they gel and blend together as Husband and wife. Maybe this is the reason of too many divorce cases or anything else. My wife works as a lecturer and I work from home. This does allow us to share more time together - once she is back home - but I believe this wouldnt have been possible if I was working out with any organization - and we would have to wait for days to see each other.

More money is not the basis of marital happiness. I think what makes couples happy is their love for each other. When this love is gone, happiness with each other is gone too. In the Philippines where divorce is not allowed, many couples separated their ways because of vanished love for each other. It is unfortunate for them, they can't marry another. There are even some who resorted to annulment of their marriages and I guess money is not the cause of their separation.

Yes, to some extent. Financial woes are one of the main causes of marital conflicts; at least that's true in the context of my country. Without any financial worries, couples will hv fewer conflicts and thus they'll b happier. But on the other hand, a couple's happiness is not juz dependent on financial well-being. If they do not spend quality time together, then they might not b happy in the long run. Of course, there're other factors involved that determine whether a couple is happy.

Dear friend, I feel money cannot give you entire happiness, both couples go for earning may be for their own family betterments, may be due to financial constraints or due to any other reasons. But there are also other values that are more than money, mostly the children when they need the timely affection from their parents. In India on the other side divorce are also increasing. I feel these earning in both sides could make both independent to be in their own ways. This may make the decision power more emphasized in both husband and wife. They both feel I am correct and stand stubborn with any compromise as on other side I could stand without you, the job that holds gives more confidence to live further without any support. But I feel the ultimate suffers would the children. Moreover I feel that as the Indian culture is clashing with the western lifestyle, their mostly the values of family gets shattered. There are also family where even both are earners still their family goes happily, I feel that is real family where value of relationships is upheld along with the earning they get.

Money does not ensure happiness. So even if both husband and wife earn this does not automatically mean they have a happy family. If money is the key to happiness then why is it that there are rich couples that can't be happy and their marriage ended up in divorce? Happiness can't be assured even when there is money and lots of material possession. Happiness in marriage can be achieve when the husband and wife do not just love each other but also know how to stay faithful. They should also work together as one in building a happy family by supporting and cooperating with each other. They must know how to forgive each others fault and must hold on to each other even in time of trouble. They should also know how to be contented with what they possess.

Hi kala, very relevant discussion ! I agree that things have changed a lot these days and it is difficult to find young stay at home wives any more in the cities. Personally speaking, in my own parental home my mother was a working woman, she being a teacher, had to balance both her career and home.I admire my father for being very supportive in every possible way when we were children.So my feeling towards working couple has always been positive, that it is healthy and makes the family happier... However, I have this cannot be held as the absolute truth since it can have its own problems and negative impact. With all that I would definitely encourage my daughters to have a committed career , which would give them financial independence, which I feel also earns them a certain amount of respect within the family...I have heard of housewives being spoken of as those who have no work, which is far from the truth!but that's the general feeling among Indians.

Not exactly. For couples who both earn , they should see to it that the respect is there for one another. The woman should not take it as she's superior if she earns much than her husband. The husband being the head of the family, should always be observed. They should see to it that amidst their busyness at work, they should take time to be with their children when night time comes and on weekends. Though there may be helpers at home to tend to the children, they should see to it that they are able to serve the children as parents are expected to do. There should always ensure quality bonding time for everybody. Thus, they are both earning, yet they are happy.

No friend I not think if both husband and wife are working then better happiness because direct effect on their children or life because if they have no children then they have no time for thinking about children and if they have children then they have no time for their children. But if both are understandable and manageable person then they can manager everything and live happy life. Otherwise the one reason of divorce is this is also.

Hi kalav my friend, I do not know if I agree with you because based on my personal experience, i was once a bank employee worked in the bank for more than a decade but I sacrificed my started blooming position because of family reason.... now i realized that however successful you are in your field/career there were times you have to choose between your successful career versus family and i choose the latter and now I was bank cashier turned to all around nanny for 7 years now sometimes if i learned from my colleagues that they promoted now in managerial position i could not help myself envious but if i think of my children my envious vanished because i am happy being with my children all the time the only sacrificial i did nowadays is being away with my husband but if God's permit just a couple of months he is coming home so i am looking forward on that day! i believed that in life... there's no such total happiness! have a pleasant day to all mylotters!

Hello Kalav, I don't think we can buy happiness by money. Its not necessary if both husband and wife do job then its necessary they will happier than those who don't do. I have seen much spoiled relationships when both of them do it as there is always a stressed envinoment at home because they could not give time to kids,household works so they often blame each other for not doing it and hence making relations bitter. No doubt if everything could be bought from money then they may be more happy than those who have single person doing job in the family.

Happiness not lies in the matter of money before. But now its only changing the whole world. I hear some couples earning too much which is more enough for them. Sometimes women earns too much than her husband so some misunderstanding happens between them may be ego. Its upto their mind if they keeps money away then they can be good earning couple.

Hi Kala! Very Good discussion. You see even if a couple is earning handsomely and in millions, money alone can not ensure their happiness in life. Those who are employed in private sector are burdened with too much work that they just can not devote time to their families. MNCs and some good Public Sector Undertakings pay very high salary but they also exploit you to the fullest. I have observed those are my relatives who are in the Private sector or non Govt. sector, are always running here and there and they always complain that they are too busy for social interaction. They earn money at the cost of their peace and peaceful family life. In my view excess money just can not make a couple happy.

Even if both of them work still they can manage to take good care of their children, if they do everything under limit, dont overdo themselves. If they are not understandable, then even if the wife doesnt work there could be misunderstandings. So the number of divorces is not directly proportional to the number of couples working. But we cannot say this cannot be one of the reason, it also could be.

We had this situation in the US not so many years ago, and I would say that it can help or hurt depending upon the maturity of the couple and also, of course, on whether or not there are children. One woman I knew who was very good at her job turned down a promotion because her husband did not want her to earn more money than he earned. She made a terrible mistake in doing that because then her husband lost his job and had she taken the promotion she would have made enough money to support both of them while he was looking for other work. I think that personally my marriage was greatly improved by the fact that my career was as satisfying as his. Knowing that I was capable of earning as much as him made me more confident.

Happiness has to do with many things and even though money is important, I don´t think it matters at all who earns it. Sometimes it is important that one of them is at home, maybe the one with less income; other times it is important that both earn wages if their jobs are not good. But I would say that each situatuion is different and what is important is the family as a whole.

Kalaji Let me share my opinion, when both work, that does not necessarily ensure happiness in a family, though one can see jewelry, tv, all luxury items in such homes.. i have taught in colleges for more than 46 years, i know couples who worked under me both as lecturer or say one as lecturer and the better half in some other capacity.. Many of them quarreled , were not in peace, the basic point was 'both earned'; the husband had his ego, he is the boss, he won't help in house work etc.. the wife is adament, says she won't do cooking because she earns.. my daughter in laws, daughter are highly qualified, but they never joined job, money is not every thing kalyani worked as lecturer for few years, but left the job.. Thanks for sharing Best of luck. Professor

I do not see the connection to this. It is because if both are earning, the possibilities of having financial problems would be more relieved. However, happiness is not based on the money that they will earn.