Sabotage! Why do people do that?

Ouch, this sounds painful. You are smart to remain neutral because we all know what happens when the innocent one steps in and tries to resolve the problem at hand. I was adopted as a baby and when I was pregnant with baby number 3 it was my choice to begin a search to find my roots. Nobody supported me and all I had was negative feedback. Although I wouldn't call this sabotage I would say it made me feel bad because I was on a mission and felt as though nobody was on my side or understood my reason for doing a search. Needed to know some medical history and felt as though it was necessary to share this information with my doctors and our little one's pediatrician. Of course there was a lot of curiosity going on too in my pea brain. I accomplished what I needed to know and have never looked back. I made a good decision to move forward without the help of family and friends.

You said the reason. The older sister has never been able to be happy for her younger sister. As soon as I know someone is on the big D word, I try my best not to sabotage them. But for others it seems like they Love to destroy other's happiness.

Hi! I think it is really mean to sabotage somebody's goals. Don't worry karma will just get back to them. As fr your sisters I don't think she intentionally wants to sabotage her, she may just want to haev fun or try your other sister's perseverance and discipline.

Your older sister must be very jealous of your younger sister. Don't worry, this is a chance for you younger sister to test her determination and show her older sister how strong her will to lose weight.

Maybe your other sister have been joking and not serious when she tells you that. At our home whenever we gather we usually cooked food and serves more as if we are celebrating because we are all here in the same place. That I think happen to your family, ordering pizza because everyone is there so you need foods while you are chatting.

My younger brother were like that to me but he got some reasons why his acting like that. His jealous because my father is giving me so much attention i talked to him and we work things out. Seems to me that your older sister is insecure maybe she wanted to do the same thing as your younger sister did but she couldn't do it. Try to understand her maybe she got some reasons why she's acting like that. Why don't you try to talk to her and work things out maybe she'll change her attitude. Beside you guy's are sisters you should have to understand, love and support each other. Sometimes people act differently because there is something bothering them or they got some problems maybe she felt unloved and alone.

My grandmother does that. She's done it for longer than I can remember. I told her my dad is trying to keep my mom's weight down because she is pre diabetic. And the last thing my dad needs is for her to get diabetes. I mean my grandmother should know better. My grandfather was diabetic and had he lived much longer than he did, they would have had to amputate his legs. I'll never forget the last Christmas we spent together. She brought him four pieces of cake and one piece of pie. My entire family just stared at her like, what are you doing?! Anyway, every time my mom goes down there she feeds her all kinds of junk, but then sends home bags of store bought cookies. Every time. I don't even know why she buys the stuff. This last time she sent home three packages of store bought cookies, one store bought pie (I point out store bought because it's not like she's making these things and putting love into the cooking and you can't say no), and Little Debbie snack cakes. And she has known for years they are trying to lose weight. I've started tossing the stuff. My dad doesn't want it, and if allowed my mom would eat it all. So most of it goes in the trash now. I do not understand why she would do that. I've asked her not to. My uncle, the messed up one in the family tried to help me last Thanksgiving. She's putting all the desserts in bags for us to take home and he's like mom, this is bad for their health.

I have had this happen to me before. My husband used to say that he would not eat something if I didn't eat. He didn't understand that I could not eat what he chose to eat because it is too fattening for me. He understands now though.

Well I can't say that I haven't been sabotaged by family or friends but not in the weight loosing department. I think that people that are insecure or envious of others find it hard to deal with those insecurities in themselves and while I don't think they mean to do the things they do none the less we feel that they don't support our decisions. I understand the whole remaining neutral thing as I hate confrontation, so I would remain quite. Sounds like your younger sister has a tremendous amount of will power though and is very focused on her goal. I do think that the key to all is moderation. Knowing that it's not ok to sit down and eat a pound of chocolate but it's ok to have a fun size candy bar as a treat every now and then. As you said your older sister is also over weight and could be very unhappy about it but is lacking the will power to change things, or has tried and failed. Sometimes it's the failing that causes resentment when others appear to be doing it with little effort. Just my 2 cents worth!!!

Hi Jill! That's really frustrating. I can't believe your older sister is like that! Maybe she is jealous of your younger sister that's why she's trying to sabotage her. Maybe she's jealous of your younger sister's will to lose weight. Maybe deep inside she also wanna lose weight but she just don't have the discipline to do it. And maybe she's jealous that you're cheering for your younger sister. There hasn't been any sabotage that has happened here in our family. We may feel jealous of each other (among us siblings) but we don't sabotage each other. I think how we cope up with jealousy is by doing what we want and not caring for each other. To each his own, as the saying goes. I hope your younger sister will not be discouraged with what your older sister is doing. She should not let it get to her and just continue losing weight.

I feel bad for your younger sister too. Shame on your older sister for not being supportive. She should be inspired by your younger sister's weight loss and try to lose some herself. They could do it together and bond over it. I also joined weight watchers. I had a hard time because the friends that would join with me wouldn't take it as seriously as I did and their lack of commitment made my motivation slow. My husband wasn't much help. I asked him to encourage me not to take seconds for supper, or keep me from eating something unhealthy. He was afraid to do it and hurt my feelings. I said I might be upset a little when he says something, but in the long run I would be much happier and so grateful.

It sure sounds to me like your older sister is trying to make it hard on your younger sister to lose weight around her. It very well could be jealousy. It is a shame that people are like that. Your older sister should be in your younger sisters cheering section. I can't think of a time when someone in my family tried to sabotage anything I have tried to accomplish, but I know they have been less than supportive of things a time or two. That is almost as bad.

Sounds like your older sister is doing this to be malicious, though I understand that it is difficult to control yourself around a dieter if you're not used to it. My husband was the type who would sabotage me, but not really on purpose. He thought he was being nice by buying me a treat, or taking me out to lunch, or ordering pizza for the family. But then I would yell at him for not being supportive of me in my efforts to lose weight. Most of the time I was pretty good about having small portions of the junk food, or avoiding it all together. But when I decided that I was done dieting, it got harder and harder to say no to all the treats, which made me gain all my weight back. Funny thing is, I was a relatively normal size before I met him, and gained the weight early in our relationship. I have always teased him that he made me fat.. and you know what.. I really think he did!