‘he does what she wants and she does what she wants’

During one of his discourses, Swami Anubhavanand formerly of the Chinmaya Mission once gave an example.He once visited an old couple at their house.The man was 90 and the lady was 84.He asked them about their family life and the secret of their happy life together.The man said that his wife goes where she wants and he goes where she wants,similar to what your friend said.

well i don't think this principle will work every time, I mean, a time will come when He will say to SHE that He always does whatever she wants, but SHE never bothers what HE wants and only does things what SHE wants. Relationships should be balanced, and both parties should care for each other. The lady who told you this would be a mean lady i guess. I doubt she follows this principle.

It might sound funny but yes, there will be no arguments if that is how things are going in the family. For most of us though, this is unthinkable. The woman becomes the lord and master of the house and the man becomes or is reduced to a mere ornament therein. There has to be give and take in the family. There has to be sharing. At most times, there are situations which arise which needs to be talked about. It might not be fine if only the woman will resolve everything by thinking of ways which are acceptable to her and the husband has to simply abide by it without question. This is martial law within the four corners of their home.

Hi DoctorDidi, A marriage is based upon love. Love is all about understanding, sharing, caring, being honest with each other plus many other good qualities. When it comes to 'he does what she wants and she does what she wants'- this sounds more like an agreement. I don't see any love in this kind of relationship. No one should be in control. All decision making should be made after taking into consideration the views of both partners. This will ensure a happy and peaceful life. Queen controls usually ends up losing their husbands to another women. It's so sad that some of these women don't even realize or even have any kind of suspicion of their husbands affair even after years of marriage.

This is somewhat true to my mom and dad's relationship. My dad would do what my mom want and there will be peace in the house but if she wants something done,she does what she wants and my dad won't contradict or else... Well, they marriage lasted for 52 years, always in peace in the manner my mom sees it.

Honestly I do not agree with that statement. That is like saying, whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. That is totally one-sided and unfair. That statement came from a selfish woman. Having peace in a relationship and or family, is to have an even playing field, meaning it is a give and take thing. If you do what she wants all the time while she does what she wants all the time, the relationship is bound to break up and badly. She also has to do as he wants, it goes both ways. Think about that for a moment.

Personally I feel every relationship needs their alone time where the husband can go do what he wants, and then the wife can do what she wants. It is Best for the marriage, but you also need your together times where you can enjoy being around each other and finding things you even enjoy. Go out and do something together one night a week just to be alone and then plan for a night where you can spend some time away from each other as well. If you cannot learn to Trust the other person there is no hope for sure.

I think the pronouns are reversed. A wife Has to obey her husband so he is happy. Or there will Always be conflict. But then again it was Set up to be conflict. But then again many couples obey each other. Or seem to bend at times. Me? I rather break. That is why I will Never marry.

I think if people do as they please but with respect and consideration with those around them that is a workable situation. But if people do not respect others and have consideration for others nothing will work. 'He does what she wants and she does what she wants' is saying that women should have the last word on everything. I hope that was a typo.

I see into the future here, sooner or later some cute young chick is going to come along and tell him he is a big strong man and that she would do anything to make him happy. END of that perfect marriage. Marriage needs to be a give and take relationship with each party ready and willing to work toward making the other happy. It can't last long as a take, take relationship.

That is not a happy family! If what this person says it is a woman being a control freak and she doesn't let her husband do anything on less he is on his kness pleading and begging! Then she can do what anything she wants? That is not normal! These person is a b&tch and will walk over anyone to get what she ways! Sure she is happy but sounds like no one else does!

I knew of a couple of husbands and wives who do this and it bothers me to some extent. Both couples I know the husbands take vacations and the wives stay at home which I think is terrible because I feel that the family should do things together. Also, both husband's make the money and give their wives an allowance of how much she can spend while the husband can go out and spend as much as he wats to. Although I think it is okay for husbands and wives to have seperate intertests, they also need to do things together.

I am not agree with it. In this principal he have not any liberty to do which he want. I think for peaceful family he and she must be agree on every thing. If it is not possible than he will be allowed to do what he want and she also will be allowed to to what she want.

Hello doctor I think it never brings happiness if husband only listen to his wife and wife only take decision neither if vice versa happens brings happiness.All decision must be done on both opinions, may be there is always someone dominance but it can't make them happy if there is only one who is saying and other is listening.And I think if this happens the family is going to have more problem.

I wholeheartedly agree with her. I have been happily married for the past thirty three years and till date my husband expresses his happiness at the way i have supported him by allowing him to do whatever he wanted and backing him up all the way in his risky decisions. I am also happy that he always allowed me to do what I wanted. We will stay in the same house and do our own work in peace. THere was no conflict in the way I conducted myself with his relatives or friends and it was vice versa. We would just be totally noninterfering and listen to each other if an opinion was expressed. He did not stipulate any standard of behaviour for me and so did I behave. WE have our own activity professionally and this kept us both in peace. Our interests coincided in some areas and I also cultivated an interest in his subject and this gave us a common ground for discussion. By and large we would leave each other in peace and I feel your friend is right.Men a nd women are made in different ways and it is better to make peace with this and keep engaging ourselves in activities that suit our individual aptitudes.

I think it depends on the guy. If both the guy and the girl is the aggressive type, then they will surely clash.