To trust friend whole-heartedly or not?
By viney17
@viney17 (688)
Philippines
October 16, 2011 8:37am CST
Im the kind of guy that trust friends easily, i loan my friends money if they need some, with no interest and i don't nag them everytime i see them, i just keep silent and wait for them to give my money back. Lend them some of my things, and well you know the rest.
There is a moment (well no money included) when i was asked by my classmate to buy paint for our project making, well 3 of my friends offered to go with me, then another friend of mine promise to tend to our belongings while we're out. Then we went to buy paint, when we came back we didn't see anyone in our usual place we heard that they already went up ahead to paint the rifles for our project (CAT/ROTC training) then there we saw our bags just lying on the ground. I really got angry at them, i whisper curses every step i take. Hell my phone, my psp, my wallet (an amount of money, not too much around $30), my ipod touch and my dsi (well i bring gadgets with me that day because there are no classes, we have an event and a project making before dismissal)(and yes we are allowed to bring gadgets at school, but not allowed to use them during class hours, still there are no classes that day). Luckily nothing was missing, but still my trust for those 'friends' of mine, my bag isn't that heavy too, it only contains a book (son of neptune) and those gadgets i just mentioned.
Should i trust my friends like the way i trust them? or should i change a little?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@keihimekawa (2009)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
This happened to me before way back in college. Me and a friend went to buy something for our project but I had my phone with me always. When we returned, I saw our bags on the hallways and the person who was supposed to be watching our things went ahead without telling us. He said that he was reprimanded by our discipline officer so he left. I did have a talk with him and I sounded real angry. He could've texted us or something or brought our bags with him.
Anyway, in my opinion, yes you do have the right to be angry. Have your friend be in your position and he finds out that his bag was neglected while you go somewhere. I think he'll react the same way you do. But don't blow a fuse yet. Try talking to them and point out your view. If they are indeed your friend, they'll listen to you and next time, just bring your things with you rather than leaving it with them.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 11
well, maybe she is just naturally reckless, or careless. or she just forgot that she had to tend your stuffs.
or at that time, someone rushed her so she couldnt think clearly and just left your bags there.
@keihimekawa (2009)
• Philippines
18 Oct 11
@viney & kyrararen: If the bag doesn't contain anything important, then it's OK to let this thing pass but valuables are inside the bag. The fact that she's the one who opted herself to take care of the things automatically means that she shouldered the responsibility herself. Personally, I think carelessness and recklessness should not be used as an excuse in such matters. That's why I mentioned that it's best to open up this matter to that friend/person responsible to avoid such thing in happening again.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
17 Oct 11
We are supposed to trust but I learned with time that we HAVE TO HAVE A REASON TO TRUST and not just trust because we knkow this person for years.
The secret is to know a person's heart. A good hearted person just CAN'T stab you in the back, it's just not possible for them. They could be tempted by your boyfriend/husband, they could be tempted to dish about you in a gossip group or just be willing to put it out there because you and her had a fight or something, you know like talking about problems not in a way of gossip, well a real friend would if needed to, talk about you with her husband, with her sister, someone that she really trusts because she is really needing to put it out but she would consider to whom she would talk to about you. Good hearted people usually have morals, even if they didn't have they begin to build it with time.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 11
true. we can have friends but we should have reason to trust to really trust them. and I agree that we are supposed to know the person;s heart once we want to trust them about things. I think friend is someone who defend you on your back, support you, opposed those people who blamed you, and well, lecture you once you made mistake in a way you will realize it;s not that they are being mad at you, but you knew that you did wrong.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
28 Oct 11
I would like to say you shouldn't change at all but I would be not helping you if I did. I don't like not trusting people but sometimes you have to. I used to trust all my friends because they were my friends and they wouldn't hurt me or rip me off. Right! Not...I went out from work with 3 girlfriends and 2 guys I was friends with. We went to the bar for a few drinks and we all ended up staying later than we originally thought and were still there when the dancing started. So I was dancing most of the night but there was always one girl left at the table to watch the purses.
At the end of the evening we all got our own way home and I took a cab home. I opened my wallet from my purse to find all my money gone. I had over $400 because I had money with me to pay my babysitter and I only spent about $40 at the bar so I should have had about $370 or so left. One of my good friends had to have stolen my money because there was one of us left at the table at all times to watch our purses. I asked the girls and guys the next monday, it was a friday and we didn't work on the weekends, and they had no idea how the money could have dissappeared as my purse was never left alone. And the funny thing was that no one else had money missing.
One of the girls quit her job, we all worked together for about 5 years at the time, suddenly. I am sure it wasn't because of me but it just seemed funny how not even a week later she just phoned in and quit. I think she knew she was going to quit so she ripped me off before she did because the opportunity arose. And after she quit her job she wouldn't take my phone calls. So I knew something was up.
I have been taken advantage of a few times...simular to this story...so now I don't trust anyone and I don't like living that way but I have no choice. I never carry any money on me anymore...not that much anyways. After that I paid my babysitter with a check instead of cash.
Good luck and happy mylotting my friend,
Chris
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@GemmaR (8517)
•
16 Oct 11
I used to loan money to my friends whenever they asked me to, but then I had some problems with a friend of mine who promised to pay me some money and then just didn't bother to do so and that made me lose trust in my friends and I decided at that point that I would never loan money to them again because it just wasn't worth the trouble that it was causing for me during the course of my life. The only person I ever trust completely is myself, and I do think that it is a very good way in which to live your life.
@viney17 (688)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
I trust almost every people around me, about lending money, well i lend many people different amounts of money, the ones who continue to pay, well i still lend them money, but those who don't remember me anymore after having borrowed some money from me and never paying them, then i don't know them as well, they would never able to borrow from me again even a single cent.
@snowhybiscuis (1882)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
You got to tell them how you felt when they left your bag unattended. If the same situation happens, learn from that experience. You may trust them in some matters but when it comes to your belongings, you may take extra care of whom to entrust with.
What you had is a learning experience of what they are. They may have forgotten about it but if it happens again and again, then it is a habit. Habits are hard to break. If they really are your friends, then you got to accept them for what they are and tell them what they need to know. They may heed your advise or not. But a true friend would acknowledge and would not get angry when a friend told them the truth.
It is hard to trust and be trusted. Usually, trust is earned. The same goes with friendship. Deeper relationship takes time to make it ripe.
Trust fully only the Lord. But give trust to those who have earned it.
Have a nice day.
@viney17 (688)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
Thank you snow it really helps a lot :) Another life lesson learned by mistakes
The thing is i don't really believe that they "forgot" our belongings. 4 of us went outside to but the paint, 3 of us are guys and a girl, when we came back only the bags of us 3 guys are left behind the bag of my girl classmate was taken with them. Explanation? They really don't care about our belongings, hell we even ran an errand for them, we didn't need that paint, they are the one who need that thing, and there we are, we even do them a good deed, and repaying that deed with leaving our belongings. What wonderful people ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@naim_foroodi01 (95)
• India
16 Oct 11
It is really good to trust friends and be kind but i personally feel too much of trust in any one for that matter is not a great idea..u never know when any one of them will misuse the trust u have had in them and that will come as a blow to you . so to save yourself from getting hurt is not to trust too much... but if all of us remain trusthworthy of our friends then this place would have been a heaven on earth.
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
There are friends and there are true friends. There is a fine line between being friendly and taking advantage of you in the disguise of friendship. I do help friends when they are in real need but if I got the feeling that I am taken advantage of I get out of the friendship..since my concept of friendship is never being in a relationship where you feel a victim.
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
There are friends and there are true friends. There is a fine line between being friendly and taking advantage of you in the disguise of friendship. I do help friends when they are in real need but if I got the feeling that I am taken advantage of I get out of the friendship..since my concept of friendship is never being in a relationship where you feel a victim.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 11
well I think you should distinguish which friend that can be trusted, you can count on, and the one you can't. sure I think you are nice not to demand too much from your friends. but still, I think you should start learning which friend you can count on and not.
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