Does happiness equals to being in a relationship?
By derveni
@derveni (35)
Philippines
October 18, 2011 11:24am CST
Do you ever get the feeling that you won't be happy/ satisfied with your life if you don't have a 'significant other'? I've been single for almost a year and i really need a time away form relationships etc. but sometimes i think that i'll only be happy when I'm with someone else.
I try to fill my time with work, hobbies and socializing - but i continue thinking about that 'person' that will make me happy..even though i've been in enough relationships to know that a relationship def doesn't equal happiness.
My question is basically: How to be happy on your own without depending/ wanting a partner?
11 responses
@charvill (58)
•
19 Oct 11
Sometimes when you're single, when you have everything the world offers except for one thing, you still feel empty inside. Sometimes we think if we're in a relationship completes happiness. I can say its a case to case basis depending how the two people in a relationship handles the relationship and it depends on ones capability how he/she handles the situation of being single. For me to be happy on your own without depending/wanting a partner must convince yourself first that happiness doesnt depend on anybody but happiness must start first on your self. One must be happy the way he/she is at the moment' afterall, theres still our family, friends, acquatances, and of course God who completes us everyday. and with that alone we should be happy.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 11
I think being happy doesn't always mean to be in a relationship with someone. I am single for 5 years, I guess. And I admit that sometimes I do think that I need to be in a relationship. However, as time goes by, that kind of thinking also fades away and gone with the wind.
What in my mind now is only how to make my dreams come true. I don't think of anyone else. I think somehow, someday, when the time is right (which I don't know when), that special someone will finally come. Well, it sounds so fairy tale, I know. But I don't want to make it any harder by telling myself that I am not happy because I am not involved in any relationship.
I just keep telling myself that I should love myself more and more each day. Not to be selfish or self centered. But loving ourselves first, is a really good point to start.
@derveni (35)
• Philippines
19 Oct 11
Wow! You've inspired me. :-D Being single for 5 years?! I thought 1 year is very long.
I wanted to feel what you are feeling. I wanted to learn what you have learn while being single And especially, knowing not depend on someone. I'm excited for tomorrow. I'm excited to start my day with a different perspective. Thanks a lot. Good night. :-D
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
19 Oct 11
Me, I have never been in a relationship. It has been 10 years or so since I knew that I need someone physically or mentally. 10 years.
My situation now like that I want anyone with me. Anyone means anyone. huh? I have many thing to hide my emptiness. I used to work 14-16 hours, used to play video games for hours but still could not fill that gap.
I sometimes surprised that how am not been a mad man? Yes the downside of being alone is that I became short temper, all the time ready to fightetc.
My friends say that only my marriage can change me!
@derveni (35)
• Philippines
19 Oct 11
What? 10 years?that's a long time. .Are you not courting anyone? Good thing with guys, you can choose who to court. Us, girls, we just wait. I think being single in a long period of time wont make u healthy anymore. And material things would only fill that gap temporarily.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
19 Oct 11
Being a single always and forever is not good and not a satisfying life.
I sometimes regret with my life because it fills with many miseries but this is the beauty of life. Having many trials is a part of life...
It's hard to be happy alone, friend. We will be happy but it's not complete because the other part will be given by us our partners
@Alisa102 (3)
•
20 Oct 11
In my opinion,the most important thing we should first do is to love ourselves if we are chasing after happiness.If not,how can we wish others to love you? In reality,sometimes we need another person to share our happiness or sadness.Maybe the image of him or her often haunts in your mind even though you haven't found him or her.But you should believe some day you two will meet in a corner in the world.Then you can complain about his or her absence for so long a time.If you are alone now,you can apply yourself to something you are interested in or spend time with your friends.After all,the other person can't represent your whole life.You are supposed to lead a meaningful life before his appearance.
@midnightbliss (541)
• Philippines
18 Oct 11
sometimes, we are just in love with the idea of being in love or we just got used to being with someone. being happy is finding your passion and doing what you really love to do.
@siri26 (331)
• India
19 Oct 11
As a human beings we need some one to share our feelings. Living alone is ok but there are at times we feel we need somebody to share what we felt . With out depending on others we can do lot. First think what makes you happy like enjoying music, watching television or starting your new business or helping needy people. But it's always better if we have one on our own so that we fell more strengthen and ready to face any kind of situation. Think if you are alone and not able to do your work on your own I mean if you are sick whom will you call. At that time you feel lonely and get depressed. As a human beings it's natural and mutual to have every one on their own (partner)
@GemmaR (8517)
•
18 Oct 11
I think that a lot of teenagers fall into the misconception that there's no way that they're ever going to be happy if they don't have a partner in their life. I think that this is a very sad thing for them to think, because I honestly think that I am a strong enough person to be on my own if it so happened that I didn't have a partner for whatever reasons. Humans are built to survive things much worse than being alone, and this means that there should be no reason that you couldn't survive if they weren't part of a relationship.
@derveni (35)
• Philippines
19 Oct 11
hi Gemmar! thank you for your response. :)
I've been trying to keep myself busy the whole day but i can't help it, there are times that i would feel really empty and hope that someone would fill that emptiness.
But i'm happy to say that even though i'm experiencing all these, i still am able to survive and live another day. :)
"humans are built to survive things much worse than being alone". thank you. :)
@truthisgod (106)
• India
19 Oct 11
Happiness is a state of mind. When you love someone you're probably in your happiest state of mind. However, the feeling of happiness in a relationship lowers down as a result of routinization. So I suggest the happiest people are those that have a goal before them, that they achieve and move on to the next goal so that there is total involvement and focus. The feeling of achievement or arriving at an achievement can keep you constantly inspired. What is more you will get the additional feeling of your work being useful to the others if your goal is indeed rewarding for others as well.
@kazumi04286 (38)
• Philippines
20 Oct 11
That would be a very difficult situation. Anyways, you have to figure out yourself what really makes you happy. It's a simple rule of the thumb kind a thing. If it makes you happy then go for it. DO the things that can give you real bliss in life. There are people who appreciate life even they are along. So go figure out. Relationship is just one part of your life.
@magulurivenkat (1)
• India
20 Oct 11
i have been single for a couple of years , i always thought i could be happy in a relationship at times i did but sometimes it really gets on my nerves..but one thing i always find true happiness is when i visit an oldage home or an orphanage when you visit them and talk to them , you become a part of their family without even knowing yourself.they bring a lot of joy , they teach you what a true happiness is all about because though they were left alone in this world , they make their own happiness in their world.try it you wont regret it , i am sure it beats the happiness of being in a relationship.