I am happy with my relationship with my husband
By zeciram
@zeciram (161)
Philippines
October 20, 2011 12:40am CST
About 10 months ago, I started a thread about how to deal with a stubborn husband. I shared my frustrations over my relationship with my husband. We had many problems in our marriage until recently. We even came to the point that he told me that he does not love me anymore. I was in a lot of emotional pain that time. I could not accept that, despite of me giving my life to our family, he would still lose his love for me. He told me that the reason is that because we fight too much and that he does not want to change his habit of going out with his friends. Actually, the fighting started after I gave birth to our baby girl. Maybe because when our baby came, I noticed that I am always alone taking care of her while her father is out drinking with his buddies.
I felt that I can no longer go on with my life. I thought it was over. We even went to a psychiatrist and undergone marital therapy. During the therapy, the doctor gave us activities to do such as writing our experiences growing up in order for us to assess what contributed to who we are right now... so we can understand why we are who we are. He also made us watch a movie about a fireman and his wife who are in the verge of divorcing. But I think what really helped us is when he told us to write down our issues with each other and settle them in a calm and objective manner. We compromised. We were not able to finish the therapy because of conflict in schedules but the sessions that we attended did help a lot.
Now we seldom fight and I noticed a lot of change in my husband. He would still go out but now he goes home at our agreed time. He is also more sensitive to my needs and feelings. He also spends more quality time with me and our daughter.
I am very thankful and happy that what I consider the biggest trial in our married life is over. It strengthened my belief that every ordeal can be overcame.
To anyone who is having the same problem, please do not give up.
But of course, if there is any kind of abuse involved, it is another issue.
2 people like this
6 responses
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
20 Oct 11
zeciram
Congrats ..you have overcome a situation many marriages can't get over. It takes courage to go see a psychologist and open up to a stranger about personal issues. I am very happy for you and wish you a very long and happy marriage.
I wish more marriages would try to work things out instead of giving up..the divorce rate is really tragic. My husband and I have been through a lot of ups and downs and I too am grateful we worked through the tough times..
@LovingLife139 (1504)
• United States
20 Oct 11
That is awesome for you! You know, just getting to a therapy session with both husband and wife present is half the battle by itself. So many people remain in denial and see getting help as admitting they are failures...but it helps, and in the end, you're anything but a failure.
I think so many people get into marriage thinking it will be nothing but bliss, not to mention many have a very selfish outlook on romantic relationships in general. (The "what can he/she do for ME?" attitude.) It's the same thing with parenthood. So many people have kids while thinking it'll be as amazing as the baby food commercials on TV, and it's simply not. I think being overly optimistic of either marriage or parenthood can be terrible in the long run, although you should never give up and always be realistically optimistic.
I'm happy for the both of you. It says a lot about your husband's opinion of you and your marriage that he's willing to keep trying despite a previous lack of motivation. I hope that as time goes on, your marriage continues to grow stronger. 
You know, just getting to a therapy session with both husband and wife present is half the battle by itself. So many people remain in denial and see getting help as admitting they are failures...but it helps, and in the end, you're anything but a failure.
I think so many people get into marriage thinking it will be nothing but bliss, not to mention many have a very selfish outlook on romantic relationships in general. (The "what can he/she do for ME?" attitude.) It's the same thing with parenthood. So many people have kids while thinking it'll be as amazing as the baby food commercials on TV, and it's simply not. I think being overly optimistic of either marriage or parenthood can be terrible in the long run, although you should never give up and always be realistically optimistic.
I'm happy for the both of you. It says a lot about your husband's opinion of you and your marriage that he's willing to keep trying despite a previous lack of motivation. I hope that as time goes on, your marriage continues to grow stronger. 
@airkulet (2700)
• Philippines
20 Oct 11
I am happy that your relationship with your husband have been improving. You are so brave not to give up on him and the relationship. Just think about your children and be positive always. God is always welcome for those who need him. God bless your family.
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
20 Oct 11
Hello.......Zeciram...Sorry..........i can't agree with you.. I am not interested in married life.I don't know if it is because of my age...All the best....
@kazumi04286 (38)
• Philippines
20 Oct 11
That's good for you!! Congratulations... It's a good thing to know that you are happily married. I think sometimes life in marriage can be a bit rocky but with good communication everything can end well. Respect, love, and trust. It's the elements that are most important in marriage. Keep it up!
