What is Friendship to You?
By bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
October 21, 2011 8:38am CST
In my Warmstone site, this is part of what I wrote about friendship:
[i]For one, it is loyalty, demanding one to be allegiant, limiting one to confide all the time, leaving not a detail. I have to say that I am loyal but I will not be confessing and exposing my entire life to a friend. There has got to be room enough for me to reserve some details. No one owns me, not even my closest friend. I am loyal but I am not a slave.
For another, it is rapport, it is an understanding, it is a bond. No matter what happens, no matter the differences are, no matter the flaws, they stay close, together, interlinked and attached. They maintain space for each other, leaving room for the preservation of the relationship. I maintain love and understanding all the time. A friend does not need to get distressed when I make decisions in my life. It is always for the good of everyone around and not meant to harm.[/i]
I was inspired to write this because of my disappointment with a friend. This female friend is a memorial plan agent. Last year, she was inviting me to get one. I did not because that time there are many financial concerns that need to be prioritized. This year, another agent (a male friend) who is also a co-worker asked me to get one and promised that I will not be paying for a month as promo. Honestly, I got interested with it and did not think that the female friend could give me that promo so I went enrolling my friend. Then, a blabbermouth who is also an agent (but not my friend) told my friend that I enrolled for the plan under the male agent. My friend was hurt and told me about it. I was amused and even laughed about it. I told her I decided about enrolling it because of the promo.
Tell me, have I wronged the person? Is it a grave mistake on my part? Isn't it that it is my own personal choice because I thought of what I would save?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@vasumathi (436)
• India
21 Oct 11
Frienship is something that everybody should feel in their life. It is basically built on trust. We can share everything with our friends. True friend is the biggest asset in our life.
1 person likes this
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
23 Oct 11
You should have considered the choice you were making. I think what you did was wrong, but I don't think your friend should feel that bad about it. It's just some program. She should not mix personal and professional affairs together or she will experience turmoil.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
You should find out what that thing you did is. This could solve the problem.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
22 Oct 11
bingskee,
For a start, I have to agree to what you've wrote on the other site.
As for your friend's situation, I wonder if your friend should actually let her work affect the friendship between the both of you. I felt that she should have kept in touch or rather up to date, if she actually wanted you to be on board, to be her client. So, she really had no right to feel hurt or reprimand you for buying from her colleague instead of her. It is her job in the first place and I wonder for her reason as why she is unable to offer you the promo like her colleague or call you when she had the wind of it, which is actually what we would call client follow-up.
As for yourself, though I do not see any of your fault as far as choice and freedom is concern. However, I wonder if it would be a good courtesy to actually call her and check with her if there's a promo since she's the first agent to approach you. It is what I would do, if I would want her to be my agent as a first preference - friendship aside. Or, you may remain status-quot and tell her that she had not follow up with you and/or approach you with the promo after a year after her first proposal. It is her job and professionalism on her part.
I really do not see more of your fault than hers, and you've not wronged her. Also, if she's really your friend, then she should not let this get in the way of the friendship. Just don't take everything upon yourself here.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
23 Oct 11
hi, skysuccess. have you visited the site? forgot to inform you that i linked to your site under the page MyLot and Friends. i hope it is okay. 
admittedly, i missed out on doing courtesy of informing her. that was a lapse on my part but without really a hint that time that i did wrong. hubby told me it was all that i missed but it not a grave mistake.
yesterday, i went to her and we talked but not any of us mentioned the matter. i think she was avoiding it though i was waiting for her again to mention it and for me to further explain. i do not want to break the ties with her. she is a friend and i hope she realized that i did not intend to hurt her.
admittedly, i missed out on doing courtesy of informing her. that was a lapse on my part but without really a hint that time that i did wrong. hubby told me it was all that i missed but it not a grave mistake.
yesterday, i went to her and we talked but not any of us mentioned the matter. i think she was avoiding it though i was waiting for her again to mention it and for me to further explain. i do not want to break the ties with her. she is a friend and i hope she realized that i did not intend to hurt her. @huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
22 Oct 11
I don't think u hv done anything wrong. You hv e right to choose who u want to buy e plan fm. If she's ur true friend, she shld b happy that u finally got e plan and at a promotional price.
@angusthethird (515)
• United States
22 Oct 11
One thing I value in friendships is loyalty. If I share my heart with you, along with some sensitive stuff about my relationship with my wife, a past relationship, or whatever--I would expect it not to be all over town, all over the church, and all over the pulpit. Once you've tossed me under the bus--especially at a very vulnerable time--don't expect me to trust you as a friend.
A true friend helps in time of trouble. There is an expression out there that says, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." If I tell you that I just got out of work and need money to do my laundry--to the tune of about twenty dollars--and you know you have it to spare--and send me away with a lecture on responsibility and refuse to give--or at least lend--it to me--especially if in the years I have known you, I have asked you for nothing until now...then it will force me to reevaluate our friendship. This holds especially true if I have helped you with rent, car repairs, and everything else under the sun, and you can't spare twenty dollars? (Now mind you, if you're broke and going through a hard time, I can hang with that. But talking down to me, like you're better than me? I don't think so.)
A true friend is truthful, even if it hurts at the time. For instance, right now I am looking for a job. If I send you a copy of my resume for a sincere opinion, I expect you to rip it apart, if necessary. Tell me the facts. Don't be too harsh. But tell me that you know the things employees today are looking for in resumes, and this one's not up to snuff, then tell me how to improve it.
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
24 Oct 11
Hi Augustthethird,
I agree with what you have said.:)
Hi Bingskee,
It's ok.:)
