When loneliness creeps up on you

I have been lonely in the past too but just recently I realized that there's no need to be lonely even though I'm completely alone at times.. Like you, I've been used to loneliness too so maybe I'm too numb to feel being lonely. I just ignore it. I just express myself on my blog when times I got lonely and I just go to twitter to talk to some acquaintances with random things then I don't feel like alone anymore! :)

As a Zen practitioner, I practice meditation every day. In Zen, there are many practitioners that spend their lives alone in meditation, and I have found that my daily meditation gives me a lot of insight into this. I have realized that there is a difference between loneliness - when we want the company of another - and alone-ness, which is when we enjoy being alone, and feel full of self-presence. After a while with meditation, the two become one, and I realize that each of us is both and alone and part of the universe. I would never ignore feeling lonely, I would meditate on it, sitting with it, until I realized its true nature, which is alone-ness and comfort with just being with my Self. _Derek

hi saphy I email my son when are you coming to see me as I need another adult who is not bonkers to talk to occasonally plese? and he usually comes a day or two later. there are 100 people here but they are mostly not my friends. I have one or two but they do not keep me in that much company . my roomie sleeps all the d amended day then complains that I will not go to bed at nine but ten in stead. she seems to be addicte\d to sleep. yuck also she has alzheimer disease and thats a tooughie for me as i have to remember meals for her and every thing else. I feel like her momma instead of her roommate. sometimes I feel like I h ave to get away from her for a few hours so my friend comes by after work and takes me shopping. she also helps in the loneliness dept by emailing me from work every day.

"Water, water everywhere not a drop to drink" This is the plight of so many where even with people around them they are lonely. Loneliness is not because of people not being there in one's life. Loneliness is because one chooses it. What myLot does to ward off loneliness is a good example of how it can be tackled. It is not the question of ignoring loneliness but having activities that will keep one on their toes. At the end of the day, saphy, it is one's activities that keep anyone good company. And is there a dearth of activity if one has the will?

Hi Saphrina Going by what I remember of your past discussions, I can understand what the pain of loneliness is. Even I too stay all alone in the house most of the day but then at the end of it there is my wife who returns back after her work at office. True we cannot ignore the loneliness but the other view is that we can decide whether to stay lonely or not. Like I have found some work to keep me occupied most of the day and if not then I visit a local orphanage or even my parents to cut on that loneliness. I can suggest you the same but I am quite certain it will take time and also a positive approach that you want to get out of that feeling which is crappy and unhealthy - loneliness. I wish I could do anything better for you seriously so that you could start to be the one that I know and cherish.

Hello saphrina, Unlike you i don't ever remain alone as i have many people to acompany me who don't leave me alone ever.Though i pray God when i will be alone at least for few minutes to analyse what has happened in the day. I don't know actually what is lonliness.Can you please elaborate it more saphrina?

I fight it. I also have a dog. It's funny. I'm still lonely sometimes, but even though Annabelle is not human, sometimes she pushes the loneliness away anyway. But if I don't fight it, I get sucked into that empty feeling you mentioned. And I hate that empty feeling.

You should do what you are doing now, reaching out to friends. You may feel you are all alone but you are not. You have you know who and you have me .

Dearest saphy; this discussion has haunted me...all day! I am so amiss at what could me hurting your heart, so deeply, that is causing you to feel alone! I really cannot remember, how I rallied (after seperation & divorce)..I guess I just stumbled on! I now prefer solace, to raucous...quiet to busyness...maybe even my pets, to most humans. I guess in reality, I am somewhat hermitous...altho my son thinks I am the life of the party! A bit of "jekyll and hyde!" The great prophet..Kahlil Gibran is my anchor, and here is a quote I think he must have wrote about me; "I have found both freedom and safety in my madness...freedom of loneliness and safety from being understood; for those who understand us, enslave something in us!" Believe it or not, I am not all "flip and frivolity"...but do like to let the good times roll, with laughter. Is there nothing, saphy..that frees you of this burden..?? I don't like my friends in pain!

Loneliness is a friend of mine how visit from time to time but thanks goodness not very often...we can be lonely in a crowd and yet not lonely when on our own. What can we do about it? I go for a walk, I read a book, I call a friend or sit in the garden and contemplate the distant hours...all those hours that went by and left a mark in my life and then lady loneliness just goes away she can't keep up with that!

dear saphy Loneliness, I've been there once sweetheart. It's like falling in an endless pit of darkness that can kill your soul. There is a silence that surrounds you, not even your breath of heartbeat can make a tick. A blank space without a corner, it seems you are floating in an emptiness. I don't want to be there anymore sweetheart...

I do spend a great deal of time alone as my boyfriend is quite busy with his shows, I know that is different from being lonely. But I do know the feeling well. I have been there way too often and yes it is not a good feeling. I would say I fight through it and keep busy but there is only so much that interests me at the time of the feeling so I just get through it and wish for a better day the next day.

I don't think you can ignore the feeling of loneliness. If it's there it's just there and you have to find a way to beat it. The best way is to feel the loneliness, to not ignore it, to ask yourself why that feeling is haunting you, why now? Next asking yourself what you can do to make yourself feel more happy. The happier you are the more you do for yourself the less time you have to feel lonesome. Some of us have this feeling frequently, it's in us and it will ever be. It already was there since we are kids. So we have to live with the knowledge that it will pop up sooner or later again. No matter if there is a good reason for it, no matter if we are surrounded by people who care about us/love us. But we know that we are always be able to get over it again because we already did that many times before. If loneliness creeps upon you, you should allow it and ask yourself how to beat it this time, how to make yourself happy. If you do that you will notice that loneliness will stay away longer and longer and if it does come back it will be gone at the moment you recognize it.

I feel , sometimes loneliness is also required for a person, to make a self analysis about him/her. There are also many things like reading novels, when u are alone. So enjoy your loneliness also.

I have a partner and a loving family, but I can't help but feel a little bit lonely sometimes. I don't have many friends because I work from home at the moment so don't really have the chance to go out and meet other people like I might have done when I was working in the city centre in an office. I know that I am very lucky to have my family, but I always feel as though I am a burden on them and that they should be able to live their own lives, but I just don't know how to meet other people who would want to be friends with me.

Been there, done that, quite a few times in 67 years, being a flutterby as I am. And it never helped me, any more than it helps you to know that it will go away, 'cause nothing lasts forever, neither joy nor bitter pain. So how to handle it. I have tried a few ways: wallow in it, try to ignore it, or react against it by going a bit wild, or diving head first into new relationship. All have their problems. Wallow in it is OK except it tends to paralyse you in your day to day life, and if you're seriously bi-polar as I once was, could lead to irrevocable escapism. Taking on a rebound relationship can work, except there is the danger of waking up, as I did once, to find yourself married to/committed to someone who really evokes nothing much more than fondness and gratitude. Going wild can work, depending on the direction of your moral compass. I don't have a moral problem with it, it just isn't very satisfying. Of course, if you're sweet-faced but firm and cruel there is an army of potential play things out there for you lol. That'll keep your mind off it. I think in the long run the only thing to do is grin and bear it, keep your life ticking over, cry on friends' shoulders when necessary, and one day you'll wake up and find you're ready to jump back on the horse. And there's always MyLot to hang it out in. Lash

I don't know. Today is not a good day for me to answer this as I am not feeling well ... or maybe it is a perfect day due to how I am feeling. I guess that sometimes I just curl up on the couch and immerse myself in a book or video game or movie or something that will take my mind off how I am feeling and something that I am not normally able to do with my little one around ... that is one of the best things about little ones - it is very difficult to be lonely when they are around!

You just learn to get used to it. And learn that however down you feel, the sun still shines the following day. And people still go about their business. And even if some people care about how lonely you are, the majority don't. So you get by. You breath in, breath out...

Ah, I hope that I never felt that way. Of course now and then I feel lonely but not a very long feeling. Or maybe I am adapt now to conquer the feeling? I've drown my sorrows, unhappiness and loneliness all in songs. That was what I wrote in my status on Skype. And I meant it. Whenever that feeling is creeping I would just play my music and sing with it.

"They say misery loves company..." Lines from a favorite song. When you feel that loneliness creeping up on you, remember that friends will always be there. Even just to keep you company. Sometimes, we won't be able to do anything about it, but, knowing that people will be there to hear you rant about it, is cathartic enough. Hope the better days are coming! (They always do). Oh, and this time, yeah, you can have all the vodka to yourself. Cheers!