Does it really matter?

@toni, what if both of you start thinking the same way? that one should not make the move but hold back & let the other put in more effort! I think it should be an unrestrained expression of feelings between the spouses for a happy togetherness! Hope I make sense.

You are a GREAT wife, and that's great. But do what you heart tells you not expecting something or it will bother you. When you have those urges to show him your love just because you can't hold back, go ahead, but if the intention is that by what you do he will do it back then you get hurt or angry.

I used to worry about it, but then I realized he is as he is, and I would do what I figured it would take to have an exciting marriage and relationship, yes, not just happy but exciting. I realized it took too long to sort of make innuendo or whatnot, and telling him never really had lasting effect and I found that the friendlier, sexier and more generous I am with him the more so he is with me. We're very happy almost all of the time and we've been together for 36 years, married 30.. best of 'luck'!

Of course it matters. Once a relationship has no more love in it, it's like a routine. There must be time where either one of u has to inject love into it, nuture it well. However it can't always be u, or always your husband doing all the injecting. Both parties must take initiative if not, it can be easily taken for granted. When that happens, it would be too late to salvage it since marriage is different from relationship.

hi, in a relationship it doesn't matter who will give more effort just to feel the real love to each other,the important is both of you can give and take what matter happen and can also understand each other.

You know what, both of you should make an effort of making each other feel loved. Don't hold back. Shower him with your love and I'm sure he would do the same to you. If not, tell him you deserve to feel loved also. Sometimes words are not enough and actions are needed to prove your point. I can feel that there are some communication problems between you two. Try to work it out. Eventhough I'm still young, I know that marriage can be tough. But if there is so much love between the couple, no matter how many hindrances block their way, their love for each other will still prevail.

I've always thought that when you love someone there is no limit. When you are in love you give everything to the relationship. However, when you have been living with someone for sometime, monotony settles in and you become very familiar with each other that things are not the same as before - no feeling like you're on cloud 9, no giddiness etc. In saying this, I still think that you shouldn't hold back on your feelings. It's good that you still feel the same way for your husband. Withdrawing from him might have a negative effect on your relationship. I wonder if he's always been like this or has it changed recently? Perhaps there are things in his mind that's bothering him. Nevertheless, continue to show him how much you love him. Once in a while, you could always tell him that you miss his affections. Sometimes guys just need to be prodded a little bit.

I think especially in a marriage both partners should make an effort to show their love for each other. I dont think it's really important if one shows it more then the other. As long as one knows the love is still there that's all that is needed. And I think that when you love someone you shouldnt hold anything back.

My dear, in a relationship especially for husbands and wives, who does who and who gives more effort in the relationship does not matter at all. If you fell love and wanted to show it, just let it go and don't expect for return, you will surely feel disappointed if you won't get the things that you expected. Feel free to express your feelings, especially the love that you feel to your husband. That's the nicest feeling you could ever share to your loved ones. Be free am sure your husband felt your reservation, men also have intuition my dear, just like women. ;-)... In every relationship, it's always a two-to-tango to make the relationship work and last a lifetime. Good luck my friend ;-)

i think it doesn't matter who is giving more effort in a relationship..but in a relationship..there must be give and take..but you know,sometimes i also feel that way,that my husband is giving less effort..

You know what it's not matter of effort, it's matter of love . That's the reason you fell like holding it back. don't think you are keeping efforts to make it but it's your love on him making you to do that. May be he is also keeping efforts but in the other way. It's you both need to keep efforts. No matter who did that?

couples should always follow on what we often hear give-and-take... it is simply giving and taking but in the long run you will find it fare to both of you...if you have the attitude of giving and taking, you will find it profitable because you will have a smooth sailing relationship. you both are working together to make the relationship grow as you grow too. And always keep God at the center of your relationship because you will be guided and you will be enlightened especially during the times of trials.

i think it doesn't matter about that. in some occasion,it is necessary to show love for him. for example,you couple get a party with his friends,when you show much love for him,he will be happy from his heart.if you treat him well,he should treat you as the same way. just don't care so much,he is your husband,no need covering up your love for him.

nice

well when love is given naturally there is no much effort required, all you have to do is show your love and affection unconditionally, and who exerts much does not matter in love as long as it gets reciproctaed.

i don't think so. when one loves somebody, he or she will not even think that he or she is showing more affection, or doing more for the relationship. if one is in love, the gestures, actions, and words come freely. he or she does not even have to force himself or herself into doing these things.

Hi toni Love is quite an enigma... The more you get it the more you want and even the more you give it the more it grows. I feel that way and I have no limitations when it comes to loving my wife. I also dont think how much she loves me as I have seen and realized that she will always love me more no matter how much I love her... That keeps me alive and going on and loving her more and more...

It is very much normal for any person to expect that their partner should express the amount of love she expects from him and that his love should come spontaneously and not after seeing her love and not loving her after being told about her expectations.It is the same case for guys also.So in such situations, we leave a gap to see if the partner comes to us.It is good.But if they don't,express it immediately.Be sure this habit won't create a gap between you guys.

Yes, of course both should make the effort to make the other half feel special and loved. However, you really can't force your other half, right? I think you should just make the effort to him and make it sure that you give him all the love that he needs. No matter what happens, you will think that you have given it all and held nothing back, thus wont have any regrets. In his part, he will notice how you treats him and should mirror your actions.

Toni. I get what you’re saying. Some days I feel like you as well, I feel like I’m always all over my partner and not getting as much back in return as I’d like and it can really suck.. and you feel like you love that person more than they love you. but then all of a sudden, out of the blue, my partner will be all over me like a rash and I literally won’t be able to shake her off all day lol! Some people have different ways of showing things, and a lot of people aren’t as tactile. Me I love to kiss and cuddle constantly, and as much as my partner loves to kiss and cuddle also, shes one of these people who think it looses meaning if you do it constantly! .. maybe your husband is like that?