Marriage to the right person... how?????

Hi nangisha, very difficult question. :) Difficult because you set your ultimate requirement as 'every thing will be alright'. A lot of advises may pour here in response to your prompt from many 'who have more experience'. In fact, at least I can't come up with a recipe that will ensure 'every thing will be alright'!!. Because the whole issue of two strangers deciding to find mutual compatibility for life is itself a very tough proposition. There is possibly no final word on which pursuit ensures total success. By pursuit I mean different ways people get to know and decide to marry: by falling in love, by being introduced and then developing love, by being alongside in work for a long time and then developing liking for each other over a long period of association or by the arrangement of parents on both sides. It is another facet of human beings displaying mature understanding when living together. Just because boy & girl fall deeply in love does not ensure that they can sustain the rough of life together post their marriage. Because when they get attracted at first, they tend to see only the good side of the other person. At the same time, it may also happen that since the boy & girl have decided to marry because of their deep love towards each other, they will do everything with sound understanding so that everything goes alright for them. Marriages arranged by parents after what they believe to be the best due diligence they could do, may hit the rocks if the couple refuse to display mutual understanding & appreciation. So, there is no unique formula that ensures all will be well. Whatever prior reality check possible having been done, the two sides must get into wedlock for life with a solemn understanding that they will nurture it with all their positive actions to ensure everything is always well. Sorry about the long preach-like comment. But couldn't help it. :P

Sad to say that I didn't married a right person for me. Because I choose the one who always cheated on me... I can't share something good with your, friend. I am sorry for that...

Hi! Marriage is like a gamble. You get to know only after marriage whether the person (read your spouse) is good one or the bad one. It is not possible to know the real person (read spouse) before marriage because when you start living with a person 24x7, then only you come to know his/her positive and negative traits. Are you searching for the right person?

Well, to get a good person a hard one. Marriage is not such an easy to enter with. Because people change in some cases...I think the best you choose is the one who have faith and fear of God. A God fearing person is one of the best to pick in terms of marriage...

Relationship should be a job well done at the end of each day. A fulfillment for every hug and kisses you receive each day from your partner. When you have selected the man and entered marriage, no one can say at the start I found the right man and that for sure my married life is a success 'till the end. Marriage is an experiment of knowing each other, an adjustment for every differences of character. If you already knew and have studied the right things to do but resist and follow your own reasoning then it will not work to have a lasting relationship. You need to work hard to keep the relationship going and that is tiring that you need either set your self free or hold on tight.

my answer may not help you but for me,it was just a glance that made me realize that yes this is my man.my marriage was arranged and i don;t know how but just at one look i knew he is going to be my destiny and i could find nobody better. but its not possible to know everything about a person and judge about him before you actually start living with him.

Well, I can remember back, even though I have been married almost 13 yrs. now if this was ever going to happen for me, and how would I know when and where, and if the person I was supposed to be with would happen for me. I did meet a wonderful man thru always Praying and trusting God and actually the day I met him God told me I would meet someone that day, and oh it has been worth it ever since.

Marriageb does not come with a garentee.When tow peopl love each other and want to be together theyb get married. They always have to work at the relationship. When a marrieage fails its because the couple did not keep working to make it work.

Choosing the right person, to become our partner, it is very difficult, and we can not know, with just because we know well, and knowing its nature. We can only hope, can get the right partner. Our hope, can be realized or not, time will tell.

I want to believe that it would be the person who would make me ask questions like this that would be the 'right person'... but I don't know if that person really exists. When I married, I knew that he was the right person for me and I was very sure. But I divorced... so who knows!!

By giving it time and it's sad but testing him. There are many things to do so he can prove his love, if he is a good man and if he is loyal. If these 3 are proven, even if takes 10 years, then we should marry.

No one marries the person they fall in love with, they MARRY the person they think that person (the one they fell in love with) is going to be. So marry someone who has control where you do not, and who does not have control where you do. If I were married, I'd have a good example of that; but I'm not, so I'll have to make one up ... let's see ... I am not a swimmer, I pride myself on standing firmly (as long as you don't move me too much ); so I will be my wife's anchor to the ground, while she will be my lifeboat in the water. Or something like that, know what I mean?

It is so easy actually. One just always has to be observant. First off, one should consider if the would-be partner is a God fearing person. Then check out the way he speaks. Definitely one should stay away from bad boys or bad girls. The little things you can observe might just add up to a whole long story, and you will end up knowing our choice.

Choosing a person before marriage to get married is the right hing you have to do. But after getting married to a person you have to try to understand him or her whom you love a lot and have to share every thing with him in your life.. So try to understand him in every aspect and be happy my friend..I am doing the same..

How do you know you are with the one? When you are with this person , you can be yourself, your True self.And you like their true self. They support your ideas , your dreams. And you can support their ideas and dreams. You feel that they want your happiness just as much as they want their own.And you want their happiness just as much as you want your own. You are friends, best friends along with being lovers. That's when you know.

I would say that when we enter a relationship in life, we are entering it through passion, and passion is something that will disappear as we get down the normal activities of everyday married life. Simply put, all relationships are a risk as we cannot know how we are going to feel a few months down the line, let alone our partner. Divorce in most countries are very common and accepted these days, whereas 50-100 years ago, people would stuggle on together for the sake of appearances as to be divorced was frowned upon. As a therapist, I have counselled many couples and sometimes the thing I found that was most important was that each person in the relationship could be themselves. Even expectations were putting a strain on these relationships. If a man, (or woman) tries to domineer their partner, and is not willing for their partner to be themselves, this is where the difficulties start. Again, it is difficult to change ourselves, let alone change another, who is having the same problems. Another thing I found important was to tell the truth about all relevant things in the relationship. This can sometimes be painful, but if the truth doesn't exist, then trust starts to fade away and the relationship stops being a relationship and becomes more like a competition of one against the other. This is the risk we take, knowing that it is difficult to change ouselves, and being willing that we can handle the truth when it it expressed. Men and women all over the world, take this risk every day. I have taken the risk, but I am pleased at having done so. True togetherness cannot be possible whilst we each occupy the same body, but we can be together in our separation. If we can accept that, we can enjoy life and our relationships. Relationship happens usually whether or not we are looking for it. So I would say, relax and let it happen. _Derek

When I met my husband I didn't know that I was going to marry him, I only knew that I definately wanted to see him again. We had a few more meetings and then we became a couple. We started spending more and more time together, but we still didn't live together. I missed him a lot when we were apart and I just knew that he was the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The thought of sharing everything and building a life together felt like the right thing to do, and fortuneately he felt the same way as I did. Today we have been married for 2 years and we still very happy together.

Hi nangisha, just follow your heart. i met my husband because something whisper in my heart-deep down inside that this man gonna be my man don't examine him- when you had found the man- that he had this weakness or minus. just keep on your mind that no one is perfect. and you are there by his sode to make him a perfect man..

Who knows the real one? We never knew if the one we choose is the right one actually. Lucky are those who found true love and right person and live forever. Some are too lucky to found that kind of person, while some are not. A lifetime is not enough to know the real person that we love. Living under one roof is the best way to know one.

For my opinion,to marry someone means making a happy family.So as long as the one who you are interested in gets ready to love you and the whole family,then he's who you need.I think the persons of this kind never put you and the family aside while facing anything difficult,that's the most valuable.