Just because I am the eldest...

my lady, I am also the eldest of four siblings. I need to be patient more, imagine 3 younger people who are giving me trouble Honestly, I love being the eldest, but sometimes I like being the youngest too. duh! I wish to be in the middle Keep smiling my lady

I have two kids, both boys, eleven and five. And I could see my oldest son getting frustrated at times because it looks like he's being picked on all the time. The young one gets to do most of the things he likes (playing), while the older boy is always being told about being responsible. That if he keeps playing for a while, it's not being responsible. I can't help it if older siblings have more responsibility. They just have more expectations as they are closer to adulthood than the younger ones. This is just is just because...

Hello Ed, I hope everything is really okay from your end. You are are very welcome to express your feelings here in myLot. You know Ed, we are only two and I am the youngest of the siblings. I admit sometimes we had some arguments with my eldest sister, but we see to it that we should no longer do the things which are not supposed to do, which can lead to an altercation. I realized that it is really normal to have some misunderstandings in the family and this is really part of life. Personally, when my sister advises me, she speaks in a sweet way and I really like it because even though she is not in good mood, she still advises me in a patient manner. Likewise, I also advised her in a very sweet manner and we just laughed and telling each other, yes we will not do it anymore, just like that hehe. If you keep on reminding your little brother about the things that he should not do, I am 100% sure that he will really change for the better sooner or later. Since you are the role model for your siblings, you should always let them feel that you are a good example for them; let them feel the love and great concern you have for them; let them feel that you would do everything for them; let them feel that despite of their faults and being stubborn, you are still there to be much more understanding for them. You should open up certain things with them like for example, the benefits of cleaning the house always, the importance of discipline in the house, classroom or in ourselves as well. Teach them the good values that they needed to do and learn and they will always cherish those things you have taught to them when they will grow older. But one best thing that you can advise to them is to let them hear the Word of GOD. The Word of GOD is really powerful and it is as sharp as the two-edged sword. When they will hear the Word of GOD, they will eventually learn some things that they should not do and the only things that they should do. Teach them the commandments, especially the teaching of Christ Jesus in the Bible. Teach them that our purpose on this earth is to glorify GOD and to make all things that are in accordance to GOD's will. One of the commandments being taught by GOD is to be obedient to parents and to all people, especially the eldest one. Teach them about the consequences if we continuously to be disrepectfully to other people. Everything was written in the Bible, so if your siblings will hear this, they will eventually practice to be a better person to your parents and to you as well as an eldest sibling. I hope this can somehow give you some idea on how to handle certain situations, but I can really feel you Ed. You are a good sister and always keep that in your heart whatever happens. Take care always and GOD bless.

Not only the eldest have to adjust. In my case, I'm the middle child and I experienced this adjustment with my brothers. When we were younger, I was always the one to blame when my older brother and I had arguments. My folks says I should be respectful since he's older than me. When me and my younger bro have fights over silly things, I had to adjust also because he's younger than me and I should understand him ^^ You have to loosen up a bit with your brother. Sometimes when we try to be strict with them, they tend to be so stubborn even more.^^

i also feel the same way..i'm not really the eldest..but because our eldest was kinda irresponsible and got married at an early age, i am the OIC for that position..i don't know if i'll be happy about it..but sometimes, there were situations that i i sometimes wished that i'll be the youngest..but somehow, i fell to be lucky about it also..because i was trained enough by my parents..

Being the eldest can be a task in itself at times. I am the eldest also and we are held to a higher standard because we have to lead by and set the example. I know it can be hard seeing them agitated over certain things but you cannot spoon feed them. I did that and now I regret it. I get extremely frustrated with my younger siblings because they take so much for granted and think everything is just supposed to be handed to them and the world is not that way. You have to earn your way and soon they will come to realize and appeciate the example you have left for them to follow. At least I hope so....

I understand your feelings. I see this too with my grandchildren. The oldest had to live up to all the greatest expections. The tow younger get away with alot.

I know what you are talking about. I was the oldest and the only girl. kThus, I've gone through exactly what you have. However, this week one of my two brothers made it all worthwhile. He called to wish me a happy birthday and while we were discussing old times, he told me that he always thought me a little bossy, but other than that, he thought me absolutely perfect. I hope you don't have to wait 50 years to h ear your brother tell you that he thought you perfect.

Hehe,I can see you have already exploded here before all the myLotters!Yes,anyone who has too much unhappiness inside must cry on someone's shoulder. I'm the eldest in my home,and I had to confront the similar thing while I was young and do it even now.Among all the siblings or the young members of the family there are always one or two nuts,but as the eldest among them,we have to correct them and do some giving up. One of my newphew lives with my parents,he never does homework and always speaks back to the elder,I have to correct him often but he accepts little!But it seems that he has changed a little as he's grown a little old.Have a nice day!

You don't have to, you know .. it's better to just ignore everyone, it's your right to live apart if you wish, you have no obligations regarding your younger siblings, just live your life and don't let anyone to diminish you. They will will be your age one day, and they will agree it was completely fair. Ok ?

That's what I call favoritism. I think the same thing is happening to us.I have a brother at the age of nine.He is so rude.He shouts at me and does not listen to my words.Whenever I fight with him,our mom tells me to just understand.What the hell will I understand?He is already nine.I know he already knows what he is doing. He enjoys to see me angry,and I hate it.I am doing my best to be a good brother to him,but he is just messing everything. I think many parents just love their younger children more than the eldest.I hate to think of it. I hope my younger brother changes.:(

Well, I am the second one in family. I have 1 elder sister who has been staying with my grandma n aunties/uncles from my mother's side. and I have 1 younger brother who stayed with me and my mother. So, I should acted as the first child at home when my mother was still alive. Since my younger brother is the only son for my mom, then I was the one to be blamed and he was the one to be glorified. Everytime I gave an advice to him, my mother always standed behind him, made him put no respect on me. That things my mom did, made me not care about him anymore. But, he always tried to attract my attention with the things your brother did. Whenever I was at home, he will do something annoying and naughty to make me angry, just because he wanted to get my attention. The only mistake which I regret now...is...I never try to reach him and treat him as a younger brother. Especially, we had 4 aunties stayed in the house. I came home in the evening when the day already dark, just to sleep on my bed and in the morning, I went to school. After school, I went to my friend's house until evening. Now, I am so sorry to waste my time not to care him when he was a small kid. The only thing I can suggest you, is...be nice to your brother. Take him for a walk. Scold/Hug him when he do some mistake, just like your father does. Buy him some ice cream. Help him to do his homework. Show to him that you care about him. Often do a little thing that will make him remember you forever. Do something together lots of time while he is still a small kid. When he grow up, you will never have a second chance to get him close to you.

I'm the eldest too and sometimes we are have arguments too. Actually i love my little brother too. When he was a kid, i usually bring him with me when i want to go to store or playing outside. But the more grown up he is, he is started to pisses me too and make the two of os getting on arguments more. But sometimes i realized that being the eldest means we must have tolerance to our younger. Since then i tried to control my emotion litle by little and it seems he started to changed abit. Well only a bit but it is better than not right.. ^_^

Its just that 'thing' you know like guys and girls, guys should open the doors for girls and stuff. Be tolerant but if they really annoy you, blank them, that will really get to them!

hi edss I am glad you have us to rant on for awhile. little brothers can be big pains. How old is he? if he is young enough try a little bribe like oh you clean up after yourself I will give you a dollar or five dollars or give him something he really likes. he will be more likely to watch next time and not make a mess if you do something nice for him . he gets used to your yelling at hime and being angry so try being super nice as it will drive him nuts and maybe he will learn to please you too.so shock him kill him with kindness even if you have to grit your teeth.he is it sounds to me like,jealous of you so be nice to him and surprise the hell out of him.

Hi bunso! I understand how you feel 'cause I'm also the eldest in our family. I have 3 siblings and they are all married,well,the other one is a gay and he is now living with his partner in Davao,he has a very good job,a Marketing Manager. I could say I didn't have any problems with regards to them despite the fact that they know I'm the favorite of my parents. May I know how old is your brother bunso? I guess it is better to set a better relationship with your brother. Know his weakness and give him that. Talk to him like his best pal. Do what he plays like if he is fond of playing tekken,play with him. With such close relationship,I'm sure everything will change bunso. Goodluck!

I am also the elder one. I have a brother who is 4-year younger than me. I still remember when we were young, evry time when we had arguments, or fighted with each other, or he just cried, our parents always yelled at me first. Just beacuse I am elder than him. Then they would yell at him too. The reason was that, if you are the younger one, you have to follow your sister's words. A bit wierd, isn't it?

hello there edss! i am the youngest of 2 siblings and when we were young i used to fight my elder sister too! i was kind of pampered and spoiled and she would be jealous of me because i was the youngest. but then i know that our parents loved us equally. now that we have grown up it seems that she is now younger than me because she needs a lot of support. but then it is ok because we are helping each other in different ways.

That's okay ms. edss17, myLot is somehow serves an avenue to express our true feelings. As regards to your sentiments, you're doing a great job. Loving your brother even though he's being stubborn, because of family ties, that's great. Just extend your patience a bit longer because soon, your brother will understand it.