Parents: an obligation or a burden?
By masang
@masang (295)
Philippines
October 25, 2011 8:17pm CST
An old mother, bedridden, who lived only with her helper, felt that she was useless and not appreciated because her children: a doctor, a nurse and a pharmacist, seldom to visit her. She felt that they wouldn't even really mind if she will pass away. There were times that when they call her, they would scold her. It is hard to believe that some children who are professionals make their parents feel that they are not needed, that they are just a burden and an obligation. What are your comments about this reality? Do you know people who are doing this to their parents?
3 people like this
16 responses
@surfer222 (1714)
• Indonesia
26 Oct 11
This story only tell the parent side of the story, what about the child story? do the parent attend them when they were kids? if not, then the child learn to ignore others the way the parent ignore them, so we also need the story from the child's side... maybe the parent were too busy working while the child was still at early age so they think that's how the way people live.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
26 Oct 11
masang this is so sad...I don't know anyone like this and I am so happy I don't. I don't know how widespread this problem is but it breaks my heart when periodically we hear about elder abuse in the news.
I think there will be a special punishment for people who do this as I feel the hurt one does to another will come back and haunt them..and that's justice.
@masang (295)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
We can only conclude that this is rampant already if there are a lot of homes for the aged. Although people now are working with successful careers they should not allow their parents to live in home for the aged because the more they will feel neglected and insecure. In the Bible it is strongly commanded by God that we should take care of our parents even if they are already old. Sirach chapter 3 says: "My children, it is your father who speaks, listen to me and follow my advice and so be saved. For the Lord established that children should respect their father; he confirmed the right of the mother over her children. Whoever honors his father atones for his sins; he who gives glory to his mother prepares a treasure for himself. Whoever glorifies his father will receive joy from his own children and will be heard when he prays. Whoever glorifies his father will have a long life. Whoever obeys the Lord gives comfort to his mother... Honor your father in word and deed so that his blessing may come on you... The man who abandons his father is like a blasphemer; he who annoys his mother is cursed by the Lord."
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Taking care of old parents is not an obligation nor a burden but a deed that is required by us by God. It is not a duty or a responsibility but a deed of showing our love and way of saying how much we appreciate their love for us. Yes,there are children like those you have said because they're so preoccupied by their interest and life pleasures. They are parents too and I just hope, their kids will not follow what they have done to their parents. I have an old mom and no matter how hard it is for us to visit here, Sunday afternoon is always spend in her house where all siblings enjoy lunch and dinner with her.
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
I feel sad when im hearing that kind of story..Parents are people who are always there for us when we are kids even when we grow up already as lady and man. We are not living right not if they did not take care of us when we are little babies..So there is no reason for us to treat our parents like a useless persons..
@JL_Beldua (102)
•
24 Nov 11
Its really sad story, for me, the obligation of a child his parents, when they are older and many diseases in the body, heartbreaking for a parent to his child, for the price it is not, alas definitely more professional also, but hardly uneducated, because they do not care about their parents, what turn out to cost of their education does not taste like their parents, what kind of children that they?.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
27 Oct 11
It's not always that they don't appreciate - one of the problems is that family seems to feel other members have an obligation. I don't believe people really have an obligation to each other if it's going to interfere with important things in their own life. For example, I don't believe that every grown child should have to go around caring for their parents, certainly they should still stay in touch and visit if they are able, but it is not their job to be their perpetual caregivers. Some people move very far away from their parents and siblings, so it really isn't easy for them to be around all the time.
@missyphoebe (289)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
that's really sad :(
for me taking care of your parents is an obligation. They are your parents and it's now our turn to take good care of them. and I don't think I could just turn my back and have a helper to take care of her needs. AS a good daughter I think it would be proper if I would be the one to take care of my parents. OK I would need a helper now and then but I would be pretty much a hand on when taking care of them. I know that If I get old I want to be taken care of my family and not of a total stranger.
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
That's sad. In our place, we care for our parents when they're already old. When the time comes that my parents would be really old and unable, I would care for them. They won't be an obligation or a burden. I would do that because I love them. They gave me a good life and I think that they deserve a good life, too, when they're old and greying. Even then, if my life weren't as good as it is now, I would still care for my parents because I love them.
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
It' a sad story.I think children has obligations to take care of their parents as they take care of them when they are young.Children like this are ungrateful and plenty are like them who are prioritizing their careers over their family.It's ingratitude coupled with selfishness.
@ferbjohn69 (1127)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Here in the Philippines most parents live in the house of their children when they are already too old.
I haven't heard anything like this here yet as people here value their parents very much.
My grandma now lives in the house of my uncle,and she is taken care and loved very much.:)
@LaraTecson (726)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
That is just depressing. Not caring for the one who cared and raised you all your life? These sons/daughters of this person do not deserve love from their children when they get old. They should feel the way they mother feel right now. Maybe they would say that they are busy with their work, blah blah, but that is not an excuse! When they were young and needs help with their assignments, their mother would always be there eventhough she's busy doing chores or whatever. And come to think of it, they are professionals in the field of medicine! They are the one who should be taking care of their mother and monitoring her conditions. I just hope that these people realize how important their mother is..before its too late..
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
26 Oct 11
It should be an obligation if the couple wants to. There are many people who never dreammed about having kids but are having anyway and it's ridiculous. They become lousy parents, saying the most horrible thing to their kids like it was their fault they were born.
Having kids it's just like any other job, some are fit to it and some are not. Those who doesn't want shouldn't have because society asks of you that when you come to a certain age you should have, they just shouldn't bring a child if they feel like this.
@bb_gabs (205)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Its really sad to hear that there are people who are treating their parents that way. For me, our parents is not a burden nor obligation. We cannot say that we are taking care of them in their old age because we are their children. For me it is more proper to say that "I take care of my parents because I love them". We cannot have much patience to take care of them if we just think that we are taking care of them because they are our obligation. Its really a hard work taking care of our old age parents, but it is really rewarding, because in their short time left in this world, we let them feel that they are loved and important. And we can say thank you for what they have done to us. Always remember that what we are now is all because of our parents.
