How should I proceed with a long lost friend?
By kdspam01
@kdspam01 (23)
India
October 26, 2011 5:50pm CST
Here's my position. I had this friend since I was 5 or 6 until 10 I suppose & then her family moved to another city. Our parents were in occasional contact since then & even I am on speaking terms with her parents and she's been the same with my mom. But our mutual contact is limited to a formal hi and hello.
I want to get on more friendlier terms with her since she is the first girl I remember as a friend. Problem is that I don't know how to.
We have been great friends earlier and blah blah blah, I'm lost for words to explain.. But now I don't know whether shes even interested in being friends. I admit I too haven't shown any interest before this, even though we've been visiting each others home occasionally. She visited mine today, just for a few minutes. Talked with my mom, wished me a formal HAPPY DIWALI (I did not have the sense to reply), invited mom to visit, then invited me (Was it mere formality? She wasn't even in the same room, she just called from the next room as she was leaving.)and left.
The last time she visited wasn't any better, I had stay put in my room (stupid me again!). That was about an year ago. Shes friends with my mom and sis on facebook (did I mention that her sis and mine had been friends too?) but when I tried adding her on fb (about 6 months ago) she did not reply.
What should I do, suggest something please.
2 people like this
6 responses
@khare_1005 (1310)
• India
27 Oct 11
well your situation looks a bit complicated.i think its better if you open up.there might be some unpleasant memory associated with past which is making her step back and refuse your friend request at Facebook and if you have her as a neighbor and can have a conversation face to face,then why do you need a Facebook friendship?
if there is some misunderstanding,try to solve it out.what i can make is that she is trying to hide her feelings and true emotions.
@kdspam01 (23)
• India
27 Oct 11
Of course it is complicated. For one thing, I am not able to judge whether she's still interested in being friends with me. She stood in the same room as me for about 5 minutes, but didn't speak much, didn't even look at me properly. She invites me over, but only when she's out of my sight. It could mean that she's being formal, or again it could mean she's nervous just like I am.
1 person likes this
@khare_1005 (1310)
• India
27 Oct 11
yes both the things that you mentioned are possible.take a step forward because its the only way that you should know what she has in her mind,if you are really interested to know about it.or else,just let it go,there are many other things in life that require your immediate attention.
@lilblondiemjd (857)
• United States
27 Oct 11
Did you guys have an argument? Or was it just that she moved? I'm not sure why she denied your friend request, unless she was on her phone without access to the internet or she didn't recognize who you were. Maybe she likes to keep people at a distance. If you two didn't have a falling out, then I see no reason why you couldn't spike up a conversation with her and tell her you miss her. Would that be weird since you haven't been close in awhile? Or maybe bring up a hilarious memory you two had together that you could both laugh at. Usually old friends just pick up right where they left off!
@kdspam01 (23)
• India
27 Oct 11
No we did argue, even that would've been great since I'd at least have something to start upon. About the friend request, there's no chance of her not having access since the request was pending for a week or so during which period she'd even chatted with my sis. And I definitely can't tell her I've been missing her since I haven't even had a proper conversation for about 10yrs.
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
30 Oct 11
If your past had given you good memories, share them and revive them with her once. If you have bad past, just leave it and start a fresh friendship with her, and make her happy.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
Well, it seems that your friend is just treating you as just an acquaintance not as a friend, because of not minding to accept you on her FB account. Why bother to be friends with her, if that is her attitude. You might as well just be civil with her when she comes to you house. No pressure.
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
1 Nov 11
I recently connected with some school friends that I had not
seen in 30 years. And we took up right where we left off. I
think she feels you are not interested since you are not really
being a part of the day to day activities when she visits and you
stay in your room and so forth. I would send her a message on FB and
ask if she would like to get together for lunch or something. You have
to do something to try and break the ice. If she doe snot respond to that
then I would think let it go. Give her some space to think about it.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
You have to send her a message why she isn't accepting your friend request, not in a serious manner but make it sound like a joke or something. Coz maybe I feel she is not so comfortable to speak with you anymore because as you said, you;ve been hiding in your room when she's at your hom, it's like ignoring her.... why do I sensed that she likes you too? Hmmmnn... maybe so make your words sound good when you try to connect with her again. Be good to her ^^
