Dilemma

Well, first off, Let me make something clear, I have never had a ONS Nor do I plan to. That is just what guys proposition me for. Secondly, I never asked anyone to raise my kids. My kids are mostly raised and I did that by myself. I think you took my post out of context. My friends are not"toxic" as you put it, just self-absorbed and whiney, I guess. As far as me being "toxic", maybe I am. When I was a kid I did alot of bad stuff and made horrible choices in my life, But I changed that. I am not a doormat, I make my feelings about their actions and attitudes very clear. Make no mistake, I won't post anything that I won't say to someone's face. I pick my battles, just like you do with kids. I have no interest in your self-help websites or what hve you. I am perfectly happy with who I am and how I live my life. Maybe you missed the part where I said I am a strong, smart, caring person. Let me also add that I prefer to try to see the good in people, not the negative. Negativity breeds hate and uglinss. I appreciate your candor and opinions, however, I think you read my question all wrong. I simply posed this question because it was the only thing that came to my mind and I was looking for a subject for my first discussion. I get the impression,from your screen name and your response that you enjoy getting a rise out of people.

"Just because someone gives you a compliment, doesn't necessarily mean that he's your friend, and just because someone criticizes you, doesn't necessarily mean that he's your enemy."--Unknown "My kids are mostly raised." I don't understand. You said you were 30. Unless you were pregnanat at around 12, your kids should at least still be around elementary school age. "I prefer to try to see the good in people, not the negative." Bad decision. People are inherently selfish. The only person you can trust in the world is yourself. "I get the impression,from your screen name and your response that you enjoy getting a rise out of people." Yups. How else are we going to have a lively, exciting discussion?

"I have never had a ONS Nor do I plan to." Completely understandable. Despite feminism and all that, women are still insecure about certain things. It's hard to escape biological reality when it comes to male-female reltions.

Thank you for your response. I agree with you on your philosophy about friendship. That is how I live my life. I cherish my friends because they are closer to me than any family. As for a man, I'm not holding my breath. I hope to find someone someday, however I am not too worried about it. Marriage isn't somethin I ever see in my future, though. Thank you. :)

I wouldn't put too much trust in friends. Hate to say it, but friendship is a transactional relationship wherein two people get something out of each other. When one or both stop receiving some sort of compensation (happiness, common interests, etc.) then the friendship stops.

Thank you, my friend, for your comment. I have just always lived my life for my family and friends and it hurts me to think that these people that I have known and loved for so long would treat me or anyone in such a manner. I don't ask anyone for anything, never have. I have always worked for everything I have. On the rare occasion that I have let anyone help me they have turned around and used it against me. People who don't know me very well tend to find these things about me odd, but it's who I am. I will continue to be who I am. As for my kids, I don't worry about them. I taught them to be strong, independant, opinionated individuals. They will be just fine in life. Just kills me when they ask me why people treat each other that way and I have no answer for them. Thanks. :)

Yes, we can tolerate anything. But when kids ask such innocent and right questions, we find ourselves lost! Because even we don't know the answer. It's always great to be self-dependent but when we live in a society, we tend to seek someone's help once in a while at least. And that is when we get hurt. My mother always says, it's not necessary that someone whom you've helped must help you when you need. Rather, if you help someone selflessly, you will be helped by someone else unexpectedly. It has turned out true in my life many times. Those whom I helped turned their back when I needed them but someone else came from nowhere and helped me.

Well, had kids young, so most of the people my age (or in my age range) all have younger kids.My kids were my whole life, and still are, but they are all becoming teenagers and having their own lives. It's becoming a difficult adjustment for me, I suppose. Thanks. :)

That is the way I feel as well. I have stuck by them no matter what and I don't understand how they can be ok with blowing me off like I haven't ever been their friend. I don't judge people, if I can hep it, so to have my own friends judging me is hurtful. Thanks. :)

Thank you for your response. You are right about alot of the things you said. I was out of the state for a long time, but I kept in touch. I guess we've just lived our lives so differently over the years that they just expect me to be who I was long ago. Thanks. :)