What have I done to be treated this way??
By mr_pearl
@mr_pearl (5018)
India
October 29, 2011 11:34pm CST
Hi there.. Today I find myself in gloomy darkness and my excelllent spirits are as depressed as they could be. Things were quite normal when I left my office before an hour. In the cab, my mind got busy with the past...
My ex girl friend who spent almost 2 years with me, I'd thought we'd be married and would be happy. Later I found out that she was there only to squeeze out my money and when she was done, she ditched me, with incredible inhumanity, for some other guy. Probably he was wealthier. I spent an year just as an invalid, drinking, getting in to fights and behaving like 'one gone down the drain...'
Then I met this lady. She is from USA. We fell in love. We planned our marriage. Had it not been my family interfereing, I'd have been with her by now. But, it got delayed... The long distance thing was hard to manage, but we did... Then suddenly, she stopped writing or calling me. For a month, I thought she was busy. It had happened before too, she used to get busy for a month or two. But then, I'd uneasy thoughts. I wrote to her, no answer. I tried calling, and heard the operator,'the number is not in service..'
I guess, I know what it means... I simply pray to the Almighty to keep her fine and happy. If only I could know that she's fine, I'd give my life for that piece of knowledge. Probably, she's got a more worthy guy and she's happy with him, but doesn't wish to break my heart. That appears to be the only solution. And if she's happy, I'd live a lonely life knowing that the woman I love is happy too.. Wish she would let me know... I'd give my life to know that.. May God protect her...
I wanted to rant and complain, but I can't... I love her!!!
5 people like this
12 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
30 Oct 11
Oh My friend. I was hoping that she was just busy and her phone was out of order. I was about to say email her and see.But now I'm worried. Yes it is true she could have moved on but she could just be ill.Or has a bad phone and not know it! Do you know any of her friends? If so write them. I just wish you wouldn't have to go through this. I know how it is to just lose contact with the one you love. The first week I thought he was just busy and then the second week I feared he was ill. Then I got in contact with a friend of his . I wrote him and he gave me a negative response and I knew it was the end . It broke my heart. I didn't want your ending to be like mine! The only things I can suggest is to seek out her friends and see if she has a new number.And try to hold on to hope. hang in there and write me if you need to talk.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
30 Oct 11
I'm so sorry. This is hard for me to say but... she may not be able to call or email. I can't see her just stop loving you and not writing or calling to tell you so. I hope to G-d I'm so wrong. I hope she is just busy.I wish I could do or say something to make you feel better. All I can say is try to keep hope alive.And write me if you Ever need to vent. I'll listen.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
30 Oct 11
You are not alone! Write me whenever you need me.
@ifa225 (14461)
• Indonesia
30 Oct 11
Hi Mr Pearl,
i am sad to read about your love story here.
but i believe that bad things happens to good people.
someday i believe that you can find the right one. maybe the girls is just not good to you. The Almighty know which girl will match with you and i be t she will be the best one
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi Ifa, old friend... Thanks for your kind words... Lord Almighty seems to have given up on me. There is nothing more to live for, worse there's nothing more to die for, too; except for myself, of course.. There'll not be anyone else.. It was her place and I doubt, if I'll be able to give it to someone... Life is Over...
Take care...
1 person likes this
@snowhybiscuis (1882)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Hi mr_pearl.
Do not lose hope. she may indeed be very busy at the moment. Since you are sure of your feelings for her, I suggest that you write her and do not stop or give up yet. show that though you are far away from her, you still think of her. if you have the money, why not give her a visit. if after all your efforts and you got rejected, then do not despair. she may not be the right person for you. then pray that you find the right bgirl who would value you the same way that you value bher.
There's another advise that I want to give you my friend. do not waste your life because of a lost of a love one. serve other people or better yet seek God's will for you. he gave youb life not only for your own benefit but also for your family and others.
be strong and be smart. :)
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi friend... Thanks for encouraging... She has been busy or ill, in the paast... But she'd write to me. She'd just drop a line at least. Its so unlike her... Thats what gives me bad ideas... I pray to Heavens that she's fine wherever she is...
Money has been a problem. Everytime I collected enough to fly to her, my family would play with me and would take away my money; they're too strong for me. If I could, I'd fly right at this moment to her. I've written to her lots of times, without any answer... I'm not sure whats wrong.. But I can smell it... I pray she's fine whoever she's with... May God keep her happy...
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
That's the problem with long distance love affair. My love life is not as happy too compared to before when we were still in the same country. But when he has to go to another country and I had to go back to Philippines, our communication became lesser. He still sends me messages though, but it's usually the same message I received from him.. like, how are you? I am fine. How's your health? I miss you and I love you. Receiving the same message, i was asking myself if these were just forwarded so that he would not need to retype the messages every time he feels like sending me a message. I sometimes feel I need to give this relationship up.
Well, with these story you shared, I guess she really isn't anymore interested because she feels the relationship you both have will be really hard and impossible. And just want to let you know that I really hate what the first girl done to you.
Cheer up! I know you're gonna find someone better soon. For now try to focus on other things so you can somehow forget her.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi friend... Thanks for your kind words... She too used to be so kind to me... Alas!
Dear, don't break up with your guy for his lack communication skills. I mean, not everyone is gifted with a pen, right? He'll be heart broken, like me; if he loves you truely... Don't do that unless there solid grounds for that...
As to me, nothing more will interest me. The world without her feels so hollow and cruel. Life is finished for me. I'll spend my life alone with her memories in my heart... I pray that she's fine wherever she is...
Thank you again!l
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
I still haven't broken up with him yet... but I was planning to, if things won't change. It's not about the communication skills, it's about how much time we get to talk a lot before and this isn't happening now. We're chatting, talking on the phone and exchanging sms before - but now he's just sending the same messages over and over again and I'm not happy about how things had turned out.
Wow you're really inlove with her. Why not send her a comment or a pm in facebook? Or try reaching her siblings or friends, maybe they can help you out with her.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
31 Oct 11
HI... There is no way for me to get in touch with her, unless she decides to communicate with me... I don't know anyone else over there... And her phone is out of service... :(
About your relation, I would say, you still don't have sufficient reasons for a break up... I mean, yes, he might be repeating the messages.. .But you know how we guys get dumb sometimes and are at a loss as to what to write... That's what might be happening with him... Check on that... Good Luck!
@Riead68 (51)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 11
Actually in this world dnt care too much anybody(parctical life. its happens when you care someone too much. this thing never let her to know what is the value of you. yes it true that you lost someone who dnt love you but she lose someone who love her more then life.
Do you ever think,,,Do is the loser here???
Thanks,,,,
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
31 Oct 11
HI Mathieu... Thanks a lot...
I am not sure, if I have been too nice.. I care, of course, I do! I still care...
My ex girl friend did take advantage of me, for sure... I was too nice, agreed! I gave her all that she wanted, by hook or crook.. There was nothing that she lacked and probably that is what got things out of hand... I thought if I cared for her, I wouldn't lose her... I was insane at that time...
I am just hoping that my recent love is fine.. Even if she's not with me, I just hope all is well with her...
@badlittleMiss (118)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
sad to read your story buddy:((
Yah ! sometimes life is unfair for those persons who truly loves but just get hurt.
Just live life again. Maybe this girls are not your DESTiNY. Maybe they are just part of your sad past that will lead you to a happier FUTURE. We just have to accept failures and pains. God will not give them to us if we couldn't overcome it !! STAY POSITIVE. STAY HAPPY . AND MOST OF ALL BELIEVE AND HAVE FAITH .
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi Miss... Thanks for sympathizing and thanks for the kind words, which would have given hope... But things're hopeless for me now. I will change my job now, will disconnect myself from my circle and will spend my life alone, with HER in my heart... I just hope that she's fine... Even there's another guy and if she's happy with him, I'm fine with that... As long as she is happy, I've no complaints... But how am I to know if she's happy or not... God help me!
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
30 Oct 11
I TRULY am sorry, for the burden of emotional pain, that is engulfing your existence...today! There really are NO words of condolensce that will appease your situation...the GOOD Lord, really does not give you more than you can handle...it's getting thru the current time, that will sap all of your emotional strength...but you MUST get on with your life...one step in front of the other each day!
I know you feel, your world has come to a halt....I am concerned that this "special lady" seems not to have regard for your emotional welfare, as many times, silence is NOT golden! I know you need to know that she is WELL..and if she is getting on with her life without you...you would like to know that ..TOO!
It doesn't seem to be forthcoming..and that, to me, would "red flag" this relationship...as they always are two-way streets. If you have exhausted ALL means of communication...then you may have to resign yourself to gently closing this chapter of your life, with fond memories...and making every effort to "moving on" with your life!
I am concerned about you changing jobs, or your environment--I think you need the comfort of some normalcy, right now to help you heal. These are things that are a constant in your world, and they could be your anchor, right now!
Please remember...each day, you will heal a bit more! AND, please take care of yourself!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
31 Oct 11
Hi Pergammano, thanks a lot for those kind words... Oh yes, I am simply dying to know that she's fine... I just want her to be fine, wherever she is and whoever she is with :( ...
Yes, I believe the time has come when things have come to an end.. Life, probably, has come to an end now... I am trying to be bold and strong.. And it takes a lot when there's so much of burden on the heart and yet you have to keep the smile on your face in the office.. But I'll try to be normal...
Thank you once again..
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
I am sorry that you are facing such situation right now.
I understand your feelings.
I also once hurt before and lost a love I thought would last a lifetime.
But,some good things never lasts really.
I wish you happiness and hope your girlfriend will find a way to communicate with you.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
31 Oct 11
U are too good a guy to be with. U didn't see wrongly and i didn't write it wrongly. Some girls choose to leave when they think they are not good enough for their man, while in a long distance relationship like yours, leaving quietly is the best thing to do. Since there's no face to face meetings, it would be easier to forget and move on. If this is the way your love life is heading, don't worry. It's better to leave someone who doesn't love u, than to stay on. That's a good thing.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
2 Nov 11
Hi Miss... Thanks for sharing... You seem to throw a new light on this... I would move on, or try to move on, rather; only if I could know she was safe... I am not too good or something, I love her... I want her to be happy, with me or anyone.. As long as she is happy, I am okay with life... Thank you again.. I hope, she'll let me know whats up...
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
3 Nov 11
I'm so sorry. It seems that your life has been realy hard. It's sad that your ex treated you that way. I hope that she soon will contact you to let you know how she's doing. It would be very hard to move on not knowing whether or not she's ok. She perhaps will contact you when she's able to tell you what is going on.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 Nov 11
Hi Dominique... Thanks for sharing buddy.. I am hoping too that she will get in touch with me asap.. My ex was the worst human being ever... She had a face of an angel and heart of a murderer... But this girl from America was real precious sweet little thing... I miss her so much..
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
20 Nov 11
Has she been in touch with you to let you know she's alright? I hope that she has and that she had a legitimate reason for not being able to contact you. That is a long time to worry about someone and not know whether they are alright or not.
@dsc555 (6)
• India
30 Oct 11
You truly love her . Your feelings are great . If she doesn't care your feelings why do you care . I think you should be thankful to the God . Because God saved you. She is not loyal, faithful. Love never betrays . If it betrays, it was not love, it was something else.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
31 Oct 11
Hi Friend.. Thanks for sharing.. I don't think, she betrayed me... I think she got tired of the long distance thing... It is my family's fault, they never let me get to her.. :( They didn't even know, but they smelt that I was up with something.. And they didn't want it happen... I am all messed up... :(
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
That's quite sad.
It's great that you didn't bear any ill will towards those women.
Think of it this way, those women may not be the right one for you. Most would say it's better this way than you staying together but have an unhappy marriage later.
Enjoy doing things you like for the moment, do something productive and I'm sure that will help.
Who knows? You might find the right woman before you know it!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
2 Nov 11
Hello Aja.. Thanks a lot for sharing... My ex girl wasn't certainly a good choice.. She was there only for money...
But this American girl, she is so tender, caring and lovely... The time hangs heavily now, as I am not sure what is going on. If she is trouble, then I'll do my best to help her. But how can I know, unless she writes to me. Everyday, I keep praying to God to make her send some news.. I need to know.. I must know if she is alright or not... God help me and bless her...
Thank you again!
