what would you do if.

If there's NO trust....It's not gonna work. It sounds as if, there's no trust and communication in this relationship. Has it always been her way or no way in this relationship? That's not good. Ya need to sit her down and set her straight. Let her know ALL the things that are bothering ya. Once you're done talking, allow her to speak. If she isn't okay with your feelings....I would say it's deff time to move on - without her. Ya shouldn't be forced into anything.

Hi soulpatrol84. Can I be a little straight, based on how I see your situation? First of all there are too many uncomfortable factors to contend with. Second, I think the girl appears to me to be too overbearing although you perceive that she is very caring. Third, I don't get a feeling that you seem to be playing a passive role in the whole matter. I'm not sure even whether you love the girl wholeheartedly. If any of my assessments are incorrect, that is if the girl is overwhelmingly caring, she is not imposing too much of expectation on you, you really love her, then too you must be able to talk it out in detail with her and even with your people. There is no virtue in blinding oneself to an enormous degree merely because of one emotion. As you go along in life, in any case, many emotions will have to be balanced with logical reasoning. Especially the more material issues. So, whatever you may do, do it after extensive weighing of all pros & cons and never do things because your were forced to do. Good Luck.

Hi Soulpatrol, Welcome to MyLot! Actually this is a pretty easy question to answer. DON'T DO IT!! No one should ever get engaged or married for the the sole reason that someone else wants them to or out of fear of losing that person if they don't. What the family thinks would be the least of my concerns. If you find it hard to trust her then why would you marry her? What her dad does for a living should not reflect on her as a person. You should not marry a person unless you love that person and are ready to spend your life with them without wondering about any of the above. There should be no question in your mind or your heart that you are doing the right thing.

Read back the list you gave about the reasons why you don't want to be engaged. Are the reasons really written in the right order? I think the real reason is that she is not super, it's a night life type of girl, really hard to trust and you are not able to give her what she will need. Since you have a big lack of self esteem and I have not heard you say once she is the girl of your dreams and you feel forced the answer is clear. It's a big NO. If you feel forced to this engagement this relationship won't last long. If she really is the right person for you she will wait till love, trust and savings are there so you both can have a great start together.

hi there soul! er, there are a lot of hindrances that you have listed out. i think the best thing that you can do is to explain to her your reasons if that didn't turn out good then tell her these things that you have listed out here also add these things like. you do not want to let go of her but there are some things that keep you from doing those and tell her all these things. you can also add that you want to have a better life for her but with your status now you can't give it to her but in time if she would give you enough time then you can give the life you want for her.(whoa! seemed like a tongue twister but i hope you get the gist of it) also if she would insist to be the bread winner then tell her you don't want that since you are the boy and you feel emasculation if she do that. i hope this helps. God bless you.

Explain to her in a good manner that you wont hurt her feelings because you are not ready to. Tell her that you need to save more so that you can give her a good future. I'm sure that she will understand it

hi soulpatrol you in your lineup have given your own suggestion as to what to do. If she really loves you she will understand you need some time to figure things out, but if she is stressing you out this does not sound like love but more like controlling.Do you really want to be engaged to a girl whom you find hard to trust,to one who has a whole different idea of life style , to one you yourself realize is controlling you? What the heck does her being a c hef have to do with anything? If she were really all that caring she would not be pushing you and she would be trust worthy too.Neither one of you should be engaged to the other if you are made uncomfortable now as once married you are stuck. You do not get engaged and you start dating other women again. you need someone who is compatible with you and your own life style. a trustworthy girl and on who does not control you.

Remind of you these things... ;love has no reasons.. It is a feelings but if you take a consideration well think more times before you go into it. Both of you has feelings to consider also you might be hurt if you do not think better.. try to examine which one is the best under those reasons you see. It is a big challenge.

i think it`s dillema i think.. my simple question is do you love her?? what is your feeling when you are far away than her?? do you miss her??

Hi friend..Just see whether she loves you and you love her. Don't take all these things into consideration and loose her. If she really cares, love you more you can trust her. Think positively and all the best for your life...

explain to her in a nice way the reasons behind why you refused,im sure she well understand it. .but if not, well maybe you're not meant to be and find a girl that will understand the situation. . Good luck and God bless

There is nothing that you can say that wont hurt her feelings, Why are y'all together? I just going to say this spare yourself the heartache and pain and don't get married that would only make life more difficult and if things arent perfect now, marraige is not the magic fairy dust that would solve all your problems, hope this helps.