who to blame?
By kaeirole
@kaeirole (668)
Philippines
October 31, 2011 4:26am CST
this is actually one of the undying discussion in a family. regarding teenage or early pregnancy.
i have a sister who's a daddy's little girl..she was known to be spoiled..but she got vices at the age of 16..she was called a drunken master in her group..she's a chain smoker..she was 21 when she got pregnant..she didn't get to finish college at that time because she always failed on classes..
now, i have a cousin..she's also a daddy's little girl..she gets what she wants..her family trusts her so much because she's allowed to take college in a far away city..and her parents never gave her surprise visits..she's 20 years old..a graduating student..but got pregnant..and won't be able to graduate next year because of her situation..
for the parents, i know they'll always get disappointed..but still accepts their daughters because of true love..they maybe angry because of what happened, but still forgives their daughters..for the daughters who got early pregnancy, they are always sorry for what they did..but of course, questions like why are they in a hurry when they aren't ready yet always stick to our minds..and their mistakes will remain carved on the minds of other people..
but who's really to be blamed about this? or is there someone to be blamed? some says parents because they trust too much or they are very strict or they don;t have enough time..but some also says daughters because they are the one who's responsible of doing it..and they aren't forced to do it also..
how about you? what's your opinion??
2 people like this
9 responses
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
31 Oct 11
I think that the school should explain the facts of live to teenagers of 13 to 14 years old. They should say that there is no pressure for a young person to get into a serious relationship. The young person should find out that no form of birth control is 100% effective. These young people should watch videos about teenage mothers showing how difficult it is for them. One of my friends used an oral form and her boyfriend used a barrier form of birth control. She still managed to get pregnant and had to leave her university course. She had to get married and then they got their baby daughter. It is not right to get drunk all the time and mess around with smoking in the teenage years. It is nobody's fault but just circumstances. People that play with fire can get their selves burnt and girls that go into a serious relationship can end up getting pregnant. Parents should spoil their children and they should be able to trust them by age 16 years old.
1 person likes this
@edbalre (36)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Teenage pregnancy or early pregnancy are now rampant. One of the reasons for this is through social networking. Maybe they said that the family should be blame on this issue if the faith is NOT that strong to our Divine Creator.No one is to be blame in this issue., we are all surrounded with environment, school, church, family, and other part in the society.So., its a CHOICE
@eljayo (1105)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Hi! this kind of situation is very rampant nowadays.Parents can be blamed but not totally.Nurturing the child while she is still young is one way to prevent this situation.Being too pampered will giver her a notion that it is okay if pregnancy happens to her even if its not on the right time.Parent's continuous monitoring and guidance is very essential, especially if their children are far away and is still.The environment and peers can be a factor ,but they say it is a matter of nature vs. nurture and from this point nurture weighs much than nature.This two factors can be blamed.Communication and discipline is very important in raising children. I guess I learned this from my parents on how they both raised us to be better persons .thanks to them.
@holliekillen (14)
• Germany
5 Nov 11
In this world today, the parents are always to blame it seems. But in reality they are adults, they know right from wrong and they know the consequences of a situation. So, in reality they did it to themselves. I also had a child at the age of 20. My parents where furiated. One because now i wont beable to live a life of normalcy for my age. Im still growing into finding out who i am as an individual and without me finding who i am, i now had to raise a child. I had to put many of things on hold for awhile. It isnt easy being in that situation. An some days you will just want to break down and cry and wonder why, why did i do this, why was i so stupid. But it also had made me a btter person an it also gave me alot of motivavtion to become something bigger and better for not only me but for my child as well. To me it doesn matter what they teach you in school or what your parents tell you, some kids get wrapped up in the moment and boomb now they have to learn to deal with the outcome. Kids r going to do what they want to do. We can teach them and tell them all we want until we r blue in the face, but in the end an when it comes down to it, they WILL do what THEY want to do.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
1 Nov 11
Early pregnancy is a problem that is not easy to solve especially now with the influence of the media and internet. Both the parents and the daughter are to blame. You simply don't leave your daughter to stay alone expecting her to be mature enough to make concrete decision. Most of them are undergoing identity crisis and needs guidance all the time. On the other hand, I expect a college girl at least to have some sense and know what she is getting into, to avoid bad peer company and to realize what is right or wrong. This may seems impossible but there are good examples of girls who have managed to graduate without any problem. I think if we want to solve this problem, both the daughter and the parents should be involved.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
it's very convenient to have someone to blame, but blaming won't solve anything. Instead of finding someone to blame, deal with the problems instead.
@bubulizzz (508)
• Latvia
31 Oct 11
I think that nobody has to be blamed or everybody has the part in this blame. The all situation is like long chain and chain can't be complete without one of the stages. If parents would have paid more attention to her daughter, would have talked about important things, if daughter would have more attentive to moral values in the world and if society would have been different than it is right now, it wouldn't been happened [maybe].
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
31 Oct 11
Hello Kaeirole,
I don't really understand whom should be blamed for it but of course parents are equally responsible for it as this is parents responsibility to make their kids understand what is right and what is wrong for them.
They should be educated in school or at home about the contraceptives and the problems a girl faces when she becomes a mother in small age may be that could be helpful.
But at the end you have to accept your daughter as parents even if you feel that its daughter who is only responsible for it.
They should be educated in school or at home about the contraceptives and the problems a girl faces when she becomes a mother in small age may be that could be helpful.
But at the end you have to accept your daughter as parents even if you feel that its daughter who is only responsible for it.
@khare_1005 (1310)
• India
31 Oct 11
what i feel is that both are equally responsible.parents are responsible as they gave more then required freedom to their kids and couldn't guide them properly at the right age.
and daughters are also responsible as they misused their freedom and got entangled in such trouble.
