How can you hate someone in your family?
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
October 31, 2011 12:20pm CST
**READ MOREthen just the title PLEASE.
Some people wonder how anyone can hate another member of their family, well I think that it's pretty easy.
I can't say that I HATE members of my family, but I don't like them that's for sure.
Take one person for instance, she does love and care about me, but she also likes to make me mad. She will ask me questions that she knows is none of her business, and that she knows I will just lie to her about, and she does it to annoy me or to get me to go away. She's even said so herself. She's joked with another member (to another member, that is, not so much WITH them) by asking me a personal question in front of them and then laughing as I promptly got up and left the room.
Then she asks me a few days later, when I'm annoyed about something else (or just want to be left alone) in either case maybe nothing to do with her
2 people like this
20 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Oh i can almost feel what you were trying to say because you are like describing my mom. I love her so much but there are a lot of timesthat i am annoyed with her because she always invades my privacy. She thinks she is just carhg but she does not realize that she make7 me feel uncomfortable with her questionable with her silly remarks and her unsolicited advice or comments.
I don't hate her though i just try to understand her as much as i can.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Nov 11
i am sorry that you are dealing with the same thing. Does your mom say things that she knows will make you leave the room and laugh about it? that's what my grandmother does, she thinks it's so funny. When really it's not, it's hurtful and embarrasing.
@megosky (15)
•
1 Nov 11
Hating a family is painful to the heart. I felt the same thing some years ago but I realized it's not good because afterall they are our family no matter what. No one will be around you truely to share in so many times of hardship and happiness. They are the one we lean upon, will ready to lend everything for you even as you grow good or bad. It's nice to have a family that understands each other, give way for each other, show concern for each other.... Parents especially tend to question our activities in order to give advices so as not to mislead our path. Even if our own family questions or give silly remarks, I would say they are just doing that because they L O V E us.. That's the bottom line, L O V E..
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
31 Oct 11
ithink that you need to call her out on it. tell her the way she acts and treats you really bothers you. If she continues i would not invite her to anything like birthdays untill she can learn to be respectfull that is very ridiculous not inviting her to things would not be the same as hating her it would just be disliking her.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
31 Oct 11
this is my grandmother. She never goes to social events anyway, but I've tried talking to her, it doesn't work. She's set in her ways.
@marguicha (222756)
• Chile
2 Nov 11
I can understand that if you have to live near of with someone in your family tht is continuosly doing things that hurt you, you might develop negative feelings for her. It´s a love-hate issue that could get better only if you lives far away so you could only visit when you wish.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Nov 11
everytime I do live away from her I forget about these things she does and I call her up and we talk, even if I visit we're fine, but living with her is just... it's a pain. I do love her, there are things that we both agree on, but the fact that she hurts me outweighs those things alot.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
1 Nov 11
I don't see how having hate for a family member can ever bring anything tood or harmonious to anyone;s life. Bitterness and resentment would only be fueled and make these angry feelings burn deeper into your heart. finding a way to resolve issues with family members and bring peace and balance to life can only be good for everyone.1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Nov 11
I agree with you, the only thing is the only way to do that is to not live with her. At this moment, it's impossible. I"m working towards it though.
@allknowing (135933)
• India
2 Nov 11
One is a human being first and then whatever else that person is to anyone. A human being has traits regardless of whether that person is a mother, father, sister, brother or whatever and those traits can upset anyone and you have every right to get upset.
1 person likes this
@megosky (15)
•
1 Nov 11
Hello there SomeCowgirl.. I would say you can't hate that family of yours since you have just said you love her inspite of what she's doing against you..Maybe you just don't like her the way she treated you. You mentioned, you are a private person and there is that love for her in you which means to say there is no reason for her to go against you. I think she's intimidated and insecure of having you near or around her, that's why. Continue to do good to her and ignore what she's doing, so she would realize of her misbehavior. Let you be her example. Let go of your pains and be beautiful.. That's why I did when I feel the same.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Nov 11
I appreciate the advice, but not sure I could even do that. I can ignore it for so long, be nice to her for so long but then she wonders why I am, and it goes again. Honestly she thrives on making people miserable. I know that sounds awful but it's almost the truth.
@megosky (15)
•
3 Nov 11
Therefore I conclude, that girl you are talking about has a problem to solve about, from her family or to her very self perhaps. She's not a normal kind of a person as you just said she thrives on making people miserable. Because there is a problem within that girl, she tends to throw her misery to other people's lives, to serve as her outlet to ease herself from what she feels. I felt pity and sorry for her. Better keep a distance from her to avoid trouble, in that case. Someone should seek professional help for her.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Oh i can almost feel what you were trying to say because you are like describing my mom. I love her so much but there are a lot of timesthat i am annoyed with her because she always invades my privacy. She thinks she is just carhg but she does not realize that she make7 me feel uncomfortable with her questionable with her silly remarks and her unsolicited advice or comments.
I don't hate her though i just try to understand her as much as i can.
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
2 Nov 11
We are only human, and I think that it can be sometimes easy to hate or not respect someone in your family. There are people in my family that I really dislike and/or have a very difficult time respecting. Sometimes, we may wonder why this happens, but it does happen. Or at least it can happen. Things will happen that we may make us feel this way, and such.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
Fortunately, I've outgrown any hate I have for any of my family members. I remember after graduating high school that it was the primary reason I wanted to study in a different city. I went to a university in the big city, and worked there for a few years. Then I moved out here, which was farther away.
I've mellowed a bit. And I do miss my family, even the ones that annoy me. Of course it helps that I don't see them regularly!
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
31 Oct 11
A son may hate her parents after his marriage.
A father may hate his son, because of financial problems.
A sister may hate her brother because of lack of caring.
Like wise some simple simple struggles will come and make as big.
We can eliminate them with a simple smile.
@whatrow (792)
• United States
3 Nov 11
I felt extreme hatred for my father because of the way he treated my mother. My attitude was justified.
@ferbjohn69 (1127)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
I also hate my nine years old brother,but I do not feel the same at all times because he is my brother.He is rude sometimes,but he is also kind when is on the mood.
What makes me hate him is his being naughty.He does not listen to my words,and that annoys me a lot.But when it comes to singing we always agree to each other.Music unites us.We won't really have a ceasefire if there is no music.:)
@gagagaohlala (294)
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
It's always easier to hate a family member than other people because we're blood-relayed and it's always easier to forgive them whenever they have done something wrong to us. I have experienced such, hating someone from the family because they're doing things that are annoying us. I have an uncle who got fired from his work where he was paid huge and all of a sudden, he got addicted to gambling, splurged all the money he got and left with no work (even not bothering to look for a new one) and asks our family to support his family financially. Who would not hate that kind of man? But I still respect him no matter what.
I sincerely know it's not "HATRED" we feel. Maybe we're just irked by the thought that they are not doing what we're expecting them to do. :)
God bless you!
@rubystone69 (5)
• India
1 Nov 11
That's bad luck on your part i think as i dont have any such problems and lead quite a happy life, you should try making up, reasoning, asking him/her why she does that and if she can change, trying to solve the problem speaking to your family rather than complaining (no offense). After all family does have a deep meaning to it.....
Every family has problems and the good thing on your part is that you still love her :)
I think you should try visiting a counselor as they have experience regarding such problems...
@GardenGerty (160611)
• United States
1 Nov 11
Let us just say that I have people in my family or a person in my family that I guard my private thoughts from. Because she will share them, and will not even get them right, but will "embellish" them. She says she does not mean to, but she has done this all her life. Her daughter feels the same way.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Oct 11
no relatives that I hate, some that I can't quite warm up to, one that I don't respect because of some things he did in the past, most of them I get along with quite fine...
@celticeagle (166672)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Nov 11
I have two cousins which I really dislike. When my mother was alive they were very nasty to her. You see she took care of my grandmother for many years before she passed. THen she took care of the house and sold some things from it to pay the taxes on it while waiting for it to sell. My cousins felt that they should get a portion of the proceeds from this even though they had nothing to do with helping grandma. They didn't seem to understand that my mom was just selling the stuff to pay the taxes on the place. They got very nasty with my mom. My one cousin even came over to my mom's place and was calling her all kinds of names. I couldn't believe their behaviour.
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
31 Oct 11
Hello. I would say I don't like certain things about several people in my family but I can't say I hate any one. I would rather try & reduce interaction & occasions for meeting than bear things precipitating.
But I have witnessed this between my elder & younger sisters. This is perhaps caused by some preconceived ideas about the other person and persists for some odd reason. I don't feel comfortable at all being either an involved person or being a part of any such phenomenon.
@devi53 (347)
• India
31 Oct 11
All of us have their likes and dislikes we don't compel others to come to our side. Are you living in a com pained house with lots of relatives, then this type of incidents arise. If we are living with husband, wife and children we can say frankly our dislikes but relatives we can't open our mouth in certain time,then actually all will do like this. I will definitely hate the member and didn't respect him.
