The woman I am talking to thinks that I am seeing my ex-wife

Its not that it is strange so much as it is uncommon, most people are not able to let go of the past and really do the right thing for their children instead they let their personal feelings and hurts cloud their judgement and effect their parenting. I think what you are doing shows a lot of maturity and the women you are talking to should appreciate that she has found a man that truly puts the needs and best interest of his children first. Just be careful though because it is a fine line that you are walking, even though this woman is your ex wife and I am sure you feel a different level of comfort with her then you do with other female friends you need to remember to always conduct yourself with respect for your new lady and censor your friendship with your ex just as you would with any other female in order to show loyalty to your girlfriend. By this I mean no hanging out on the late night or middle of the night phone calls, if she is just your friend now you should be able to speak to her and be around her in the presence of your woman, acknowledge your females concerns because they are real, this ex poses a threat in the female playbook she has a past and leverage with you that this new woman does not have yet...do what you can to make her feel your focus is on her and to help her see that this relationship with your ex is not a bad thing but rather a testimony to the fact you are a real man who is strong and loyal enough to do what it takes for his family and those he chooses to love.

You are right, there is nothing wrong having a contact with your ex-wife, for you have a child and your child deserve to see his/her parents having a good relationship even as only friends. Maybe this girl is just jealous and don't have that enough trust in you. Maybe you should strive harder to show her that she can trust you and make her feel more secure that she is now the queen of your heart and you and your ex-wife are only friends. Maybe, if you are ready to marry again, propose to her so that all those bad things coming to her mind will end.

Hi tech2d, I do not have experience in this kind of matter. But as a woman, I might think this kind of relationship after a huge drama is kind of impossible. I guess you can say it is kind of a female feeling, being sensitive. The general thinking is that when a couple broke up, it is hard to be friends after. Unless both of you broke up on mutual understandings that it is not going to work. How do you know you would not have anymore feelings for your ex-wife? After-all, you two got married and have kids because both of you have feelings for each other. That feeling might or might not re-kindle. The anger both of you have maybe caused by misunderstandings. Women are sensitive to this kind of feelings. I am not sure about real life, but this kind of scenarios are always in the movies and dramas. Movies and dramas are actually a portray of what some aspect of real life might be. Minority guys do too, jealousy is what cause misunderstandings in relationship. If trust and understanding is not there, anger and misunderstandings might occur all over again. I guess on your quest to find another someone in your life, i think first thing the lady should have is to understand that you still have your duties as a father to your son, even maybe in the future, your son may have a step-father, your responsibilities as a father do not diminish. In order for the lady to understand, your actions should portray what you meant too. If you compromise on things like that in your future relationship, i guess there bond to be more anger and misunderstandings. I am sure you know what I mean. Good luck in your future relationship!

Tip of the day: if someone in another state - who you only know online - is ALREADY suspicious and jealous, it's probably not going to get any better. Trust is going to be a MAJOR issue for her. Unless you're a huge fan of the green-eyed monster, I'd get the heck out. The signs are awful. (Just my opinion!) And by the way, I think your relationship with your ex sounds like a darned fine, reasonable thing - especially for your youngest son. Stability FTW!

YOu said that you seem to hitting it off pretty good. That woman is interested in you and wants to make sure what kind of relationship she'll end up with later. You can't expect that she'll trust you 100% immediately because you are just chatting online and well you haven't met each other in person yet. HOw long have you been chatting? I know it's a misconception that once you are divorced you should stay as enemies forever. But i think that's not what she meant. Women say one thing but means the other. She just wanted some kind of assurance from you that you are totally over your ex-wife.

its great that you are telling her this all up front. i have a relationship with all my ex-girls. but long as you are being honest and not disrespecting anybody don't see any problem. at least you told her upfront. women don't see thongs the way we do. we're dogs remember.

tech2d, I've read your post and responses to conclude that it would be good for you to go to the root of the problem that is affecting your friend's trust in you. How could there be love when there's no trust? I believe that she's just speaking from her mind and experiences even, for not trusting that a casual relationship could be established with an ex. She could be probably experiencing an undying unnecessary flame from her ex, so it would be good for the both of you to continue talking about it openly and work on solutions that could assure her that there's nothing other than a casual friendship (nothing else) with your ex. You may even want to take the word "relationship" out of your communication and use friendship, instead. Sometimes, words can really get into peoples' minds especially when they have their prerogatives. Mutuality is important even when the opposite is a long distance away. Remain as transparent as you can and don't cower when you are not receiving a favorable response or reaction. Remember just as you might have your own expectations, she has her's too. There may be differences but there are common grounds at the other end as well. Be firm, stay with your principles and most of all, morals.

I don't think it is strange that you have a casual relationship with your ex-wife. It is sad that most people think that divorced individuals should hate their ex-spouse. And it is good that you both avoid a lot of the drama. The two of you have a child together so she's going to have to understand and respect that from the start. If you both have just started talking it shouldn't really be that big of a concern. You and your ex-wife got divorced for a reason, you are interested in her (woman your now seeing) for a reason. She should see that you like her and are interested in her. You probably will have to talk with her more about this and that she has to see that you will have a casual relationship with your ex you have a child with her. And so for the most part you will always have some type of contact with her. The sooner this is discussed and understood the less problems will come up as time goes on. Hopefully then you two can focus on your relationship instead of it now being concerned about your ex.

This is a tricky situation, even if I were the new girlfriend, I would be suspicious. In some cases, it is usually hard to forget your past. I would suggest first, you decide what you really want inorder to move on with the new girlfriend. Otherwise, your relationship will always experience some problem. You can still be able to take care of your child without having to have a relationship with your ex.