Getting married would mean abandoning your parents
Philippines
8 responses
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
4 Nov 11
welcome to mylot. It depends on the culture of your country. In India --yes. That is why we always bring up our daughter with detached attachment.
However things are changing. In India boy and girl have equal right to property. same way both son and daughter take care of their parents. However major responsibility is with the son to take care of parents.
It is good marriage takes place. In a few countries people live together, get children without marriage. compared to that marriage - less attachment towards parents is ok. fine.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Nov 11
What do you mean by "we always bring up our daughter with detached attachment"? Does this mean that you're not as close with your daughter than with a son? Does the son take care of the parents when they're older?
Thanks in advance for the information, I had no idea about such. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
5 Nov 11
Yes. discussminu has stated what I wanted to mention. We are aware after marriage daughter has to be away from us and if we show more interest in her she will have problem in supporting our ideas etc. That is known as detached attachment.
On the contrary we expect son to be in a position to take care of us. It may be possible or not depending on his place of work.
@discussminu (108)
• India
4 Nov 11
Its not like daughters are not as close as sons. But in India, daughters are treated something like 'Treasure to be gaurded untill it has been handed over to its true owner'.
As per tradition, when daughters are married, they are not considered to belong to their parents family, but their in-laws.
However, it no way means, that parents love their daughters less. In fact being a daughter and an Indian myself, I have seen an equal distribution of everything between me and my brother, may it be love, or any physical entity.
I love my parents. :)
@HellsButcher27 (473)
• United States
4 Nov 11
This is both true and not true. When someone gets married they start a life with the person they are marrying and start a family. This does not mean they have to forget or abandon their parents. It just means that they shouldn't rely on their parents as much. They should try to live their own life. They could still keep in touch and see their parents but not like an everyday routine.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
4 Nov 11
hello you are awake at this time of the night. great. I think in usa boy or girl - they are less attached to parents. It is considered right for parents to live and take care of them independently rather than being supported by children. have a nice day.
@HellsButcher27 (473)
• United States
4 Nov 11
Yes, I am wide awake. You're right. In the USA, parents take care of their children until they are grown and able to support themselves.
@FullTimeMom (48)
• United States
6 Nov 11
You are not abandoning your parents, you are just letting go and having them in your life, but living in different places. You can still have a relationship with them, just don't let them get into between you and your spouse. Like if you and your spouse agree on something and your mom comes over and says you need to do it this way. It could cause unwanted fights.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
7 Nov 11
So you mean if you are a kid, you grow up you don't have the right to start a live of your own like your parents did?
It's normal to grow up to start your own life, that is exactly what animals do.
It has nothing to do with abandoning your parents or anyone else.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Nov 11
No getting married doesn't mean you have to leave your parents. Most married couples when there own place its a bit weird living with your parents when your a newly wed and trying to get your freak on and stuff. I moved out of my parents house before I got married but that doesn't mean I abandon them most all couples leave the nets. All kids have to learn to live on there own and take care of themselves with out there parents.
Some couples can't afford to live on there own so they live with there parents or some other family member till they are able to live on there own and others its just part of there culture. In the US most of the culture is about getting out and doing it on your own with out your parents.
@girl_thinking (1959)
• Philippines
4 Nov 11
Hello! For me, not true. At least for our culture here in the Philippines. After getting married, the couple usually stays with their relatives. There's a positive and negative points to that.. Anyway, that's to digress on the topic so I will leave it at that.
I think even with different culture, getting a separate house does not technically mean abandoning your parents.. We now have a very advanced technology that could keep people together even if they are hundred miles away :)
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
19 Nov 11
Your observation is right in one way. That though my children are far away --we feel they are nearer to us through use of internet and phone facilities.
@youless (112586)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Nov 11
I don't agree to it. It is a very negative thought. In fact it shouldn't be a problem in this case. Getting married is a happy thing. It is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean that you will abandon your parents, whereas it means you have one more dad and mom. And your parents also have one more son or daughter.
I love China
@almond24 (1248)
• Hungary
4 Nov 11
It depends on the culture and many other things that the couple stays with the parents or go and live separately from them. But it doesn't mean you abandon them, you can always take care of them and stay in touch with them, at least i think that's the best thing to do. Our parents grew us up and we are responsible for them when they get old.
