Frienship Over
By loidee
@loidee (175)
Philippines
November 4, 2011 10:21pm CST
A few weeks ago, I have been tweeting about common grammar mistakes particularly by my classmate in college. I don't know why but by some weird twist of fate, a close friend and high school classmate thought I intended those tweets for her. It so happened that she was asking for our blog sites and I gave her mine. But I forgot to check out hers. Days passed, my other close friends in high school noticed that she had been ignoring them. She also started posting status updates that my other friends thought was about me. So what they did, they told me about it and I thought it was about me, too. She went on insulting me and even made a blog for the sole purpose of insulting me more and saying some hurtful words about me.
I asked her who she meant and she also ignored my comments. So I confronted her about it. I tried calling her but to no avail. I tried explaining my side but she won't hear it.
And when she replied, she never said sorry. She still insisted that it would be too funny if those tweets were not meant for her. We tried to explain. I even posted screenshots of my tweets and it was right there, the word "college" and it was pretty obvious then that she made a mistake.
But the damage has been done. She has said a lot of hurtful words about me. A million apologies won't take back the hurt, the pain I felt when I read those words. My tweets were not intended for her. But her blog was intended for me, and as she said, she brutally mean all of it.
So I guess, in her eyes and in her words, I have a personality disorder, and I am only good in English since she graduated with honors back in high school and college I didn't.
I don't hold a grudge against her. I am just upset and hurt by what she posted for everyone to see. Maybe in time, this pain I feel will go away. And maybe then we could be friends again. But for now, our friendship is over. I could never be friends with someone who said a lot of hurtful words about me. She, of all people, should know me. It wouldn't hurt her to ask for a confirmation before reacting.
Is my decision to end our friendship a right one? because right now, I am overwhelmed by my emotions.
4 responses
@Queen_11 (307)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
I think that you need to take your mind away from this issue for may be a week or two and have your mind and heart healed first. You were deeply hurt and I think that you can't make a better judgement if you are still overwhelmed with it. Give yourself the rest it deserves, away from the stress brought about by the confusion. Once you feel that you are already OK, then talk to her again and try renewing the friendship. If she doesn't want a part of you anymore, then so be it. Don't feel guilty of anything. Although losing a close friend is tough one, you can always expect that another one will come and may be the next one is even better :)
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
13 Nov 11
That is very good advice. Making a decision while mad usually is a bad idea. Give it a little time, if you feel the same way, end it.
I must admit though, her doing the blog in public was harsh, and I don't know what was said, but when people are angry, they can say a lot of things that maybe they don't mean to say as they are just out to hurt you the best that they can. I also find a different opinion as well, some people say the way they truly feel, but didn't want to say anything because they thought it would hurt you, but in anger sometimes things come out even if it unintentional.
Friendships can come and go, but make sure if you end it, that you end it for the proper reasons and not just because of a quick decision that wasn't thought out.
I hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do.
@loidee (175)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
you're right, this is a very good piece of advice and it actually made me think things through again and again. But more than a week has passed since we cleared things up but never did she ask for an apology. that's what hurt the rest of our barkada, her being so stubborn and ignoring us and saying those cruel words in Facebook and being very critical of my personality and blog. I guess I'm just waiting this one out, where things would lead us. because in all honesty, I am not mad at her, I am just upset and hurt by what she did.
@queen_11 and @GavinKaos: Thank you so much for these enlightening pieces of advice. These really helped and guide me.
@GavinKaos: I agree with you when you said that in anger, sometimes things come out even if it's unintentional. I think this was the case with my friend. but the thing is, she just didn't ask me who I meant it for. She just jumped into conclusion.
This is actually her blog and it's very offensive and hurtful. :'( I never expected a friend to do this to me, i expected her to know me but i guess she doesn't after knowing each other for over 10 years.
http://maryjean-rldn.blogspot.com/?spref=fb
@ferbjohn69 (1127)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
She didn't try to listen to you so I think she does not worth being your friend.She is a fool.Didn't she see the word college there.Maybe she is just blind or she is just too proud so she couldn't admit that she noticed the word college there too late.I think having my grammar corrected wouldn't really hurt me.Actually,I would be glad if it is delivered in a nice way.
Maybe you and her are not just meant to be friends forever.Just accept it.She is not a good friend because she does not listen.Remember that a good friend is always ready to listen.
Be free to correct my grammar.hehe.I want to know my errors.:)
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
13 Nov 11
You did pretty good one your grammar. I'm not one to be really picky as my grammar is pretty rough, but I'm trying to improve. If English isn't your first language, then you did really well (I see your from the Philippines). A few things I would change, but it doesn't mean I'm right.
Pride will make you do stupid things. I agree though, communication and trust are a major part of friendship.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
5 Nov 11
Just make sure the person is actually taking your peace away, that you cannot live with this person being in your circle anymore, because we love our friends and a rushed decision can make you suffer in the future, how many times we end a friendship or any kind of friendship and we look back to think if we were a little patient that could be overcome?
You said "I could never be friends with someone who said a lot of hurtful words about me. She, of all people, should know me." - there are people who do that on purpose dear, they know our weakness and use it against us. If that is the case, yes, cut her out, better be alone than having potentil enemies as friends.
Happy MyLotting!
@loidee (175)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
I've given this a lot of thought and I'm not saying that there's no chance for us to reconcile but right now, I just want to be away from her because the words she said really hurt me a lot. maybe in time, the pain will go away and we could be friends again but not right. thank you so much for that piece of advice. I really appreciate it!
@deliar (609)
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
I yhink what you have dine is the right thing.
i am sure that you dont do a mistake if your friendship with her is over.
insulting in public media is something that really bad to do,and you cant called her as friend again after she did it.
and I see that you have trying so many way to make a better relationship.
to explain the best.
and she dont want to hear.
it is her mistake.
just let her go from your life.
She is useless for you at all.
Control your emotion now.
and thinks clearly.
You still have many friends that care to you,
