me"Lovei s not supposed to hurt" Her" love is sacrifice, he hurt me but I love

Well Hatley, here in the good ol' US of A, this is illegal. However, in other countries, this is considered ok. Now, I would not say that you gave her the wrong advice because it varies from country to country. I will say this....wherever you are....I agree...love should not hurt!

i agree with you that love should not hurt... whether it is physical, emotional or mental... love should always be the home where you can run to. love should be a safe place, love is where you will feel alive. now if it is hurting then that is no longer love. love has respect and understanding if a guy hits you then where is the respect. i am a guy and i am really pissed when a guy hits a woman they call wife/partner. for me he is a coward that can not find someone with his own size.

Love isn't supposed to hurt. And men who have anger problems get worse instead of better. In some countries women have no rights and live as old world citizens. No, I don't think you are wrong at all. I think that some women almost expect some mistreatment in these countries.

I was never hurt,physically by a boyfriend. Mentally yes. I was scared I would be hurt by one boyfriend because he had a really bad temper! With some cultures woman have no rights and are treated like crap! I know in some cultures woman are killed for not prdoucing a son! Of course this should not be happening in any part of the world! I feel sorry for those woman! I am so glad I live in the US! You gave this woman the advice you thought was right. She maybe never will use it or understand it. She is stuck in this marriage most likely and was reaching out.That is what I am thinking. I hope her husband doesn't get more violent with her!

I live in Indonesia. Most Indonesian women, relented, and devoted to their husbands. There are many women, who still survive, though painful marriage, and unhappy. Each woman has their own reasons, why persist. I also have a wife, a very obedient, and great respect for me, although sometimes I am rude to my wife. Perhaps, because of culture, and upbringing since childhood, which makes many Indonesian women still maintain the marriage, although it should not be happy. But, there is also an Indonesian woman, who chose divorce, because marriage is not happy.

It does not make sense for the wife in question to meekly submit to her husband's maltreatment even defend him,although I am also a man.She gives her enduring humiliation in silence in exchange for her husband's pity ,she has another guess coming.Just as you said,wife batterers start out.What warrants our attention is that wife battering occurs now and then in the place where people still hold that the male must be respected while the female lowly .

I feel it's spousal abuse no matter what the culture is. But in some cultures, thats the so called norm. I know some people from that type of culture and I hate seeing the abuse etc. But if someone sees or hears this abuse and reports it, then here in the States that person be male or female automatically is charged with abuse. I hate people that hit or abuse each other physically, mentally, or emotionally as that happened to me as a child and it scarred me forever. I finally changed my ways so I would not be llike my fathr along those lines. As far as if you did right or wrong, that's in your heart and soul. I feel you did as well as you could have. You gave your thoughts and opinion on the matter was all. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!~

Hi Hatley, it's an unforgivable reason and inhumane as well for the culprit to say that he hit and hurt his wife just for couldn't control his anger. Unknown tie to make the two people to get along intimately. I believe they married because that was the only way the two could live together. The two persons is a match based on pure love they then live together. It's inevitable crosslight might happen in daily life as different people have their respective opinions. If so problem still could be resolved peacefully. I believe the wife will help him to cool down his anger if he was willing to share his difficulties with his spouse. It's 100% better than to vent his anger by violence. Every one is equal and lay violent hands on any person is absolutely not allowed I have friends come from Indonesia and work here. I'm told husband and wife love and cherish each other but not to beat the opposite side without controlling their awful temper and hurt their loved one. We are lucky that we meet the right persons who really treasure and hold their happy life they possess respectively Happy posting and have a nice day

Sometimes it is the fault of women who prefer to end up a sacrificial lamb than to fight back. This was a common happening in Asian families where they god worship their husbands as men are the breadwinners of the family. But most of the cases is because of culture and religious adherence. Now the situation has improved a lot when the law come into the picture. Men will be imprisoned if they beat their wives and this has so far improved situation. There are less wife beaters now but increased in divorces.

No Hatley, your advice was not wrong at all. Abuse is abuse and I don't care what culture you come from. It is also progressive. The person getting abused learns to tolerate and gets used to such a life as if it is normal. If she grew up with abuse then it is all she knows. What it does to a persons adrenelin makes for very interesting reading but would take too long for me to explain here. The tolerance level increases over time. While one woman might go running from the verbal abuse, another would find that to be nothing. A slap on the face is nothing. Why because they have grown used to far more violent situations. A lot of times the abuser really does love the victim and really can't control his temper...that is HIS issues. The victim has issues of her own which cause her to put up with HIS issues regardless of how much he loves her. I left an abusive marriage and got councelling and did a lot of reading up. I had an opportunity to work in a woman's crisis center but I just couldn't rightfully accept it. Part of my job would have required me to have understanding for the abuser as well as the victim and a mountain of patience for the victim that kept returning to her abuser. Understanding it all and dealing with it all are 2 different things. I just did a discussion on a friend of mine who came very close to dying as a result of refusing to leave an abusive relationship. You were not wrong Hatley!

Neither a wife or a husband should hit the other, nor a girlfriend or boyfriend or man and woman, girl and boy. But, unfortunately it does happen. All you can do is offer help or suggestions if one asks for it. Information such as domestic violence centers, emergency phone numbers, etc., are always nice to give someone.

dear Hatley, Yes dear, culture may differ,but husband has no rights to hit or abuse their wives emotionally and physically. Here in our country,wife can sue the husband when he hit her (well, it depends on the wife if she will report the matter to the authorities- which is also seldom done by martyr wives) Oh,i just wish every wives know their rights as woman and human. Have a good day always ma'm

Hello Hatley. No husband or boyfirend for that matter have the right to lift his hands to his wife or girlfriend. That is not love. Its an insecure little boy to scared to show his real emotions. You gave her the right advice. I personally think she should leave him. A women beater almost never stop the beating and sometimes they kill their wives, unfortunately. Different culture or not, it is a disgusting habit most men have to make sure their wives will stay submissive.

I agree, love is not supposed to hurt. Husbands should not hit their wives. Unfortunately in some countries, the laws on family relations are not the same as others (western laws specifically). I am not sure how they do it over there, but, I just hope that wives (all women, actually) are protected from violence. You are right that wife batterers really cannot control their anger and that they manipulate the feelings of their wife by being very sweet after a beating. Sometimes, also, they would put the blame on the wife.

In some cultures where marriages are arranged and the mix is wrong, I can well understand how frustration and being powerless can bring out the worst in people and violence ensuing. Of course there is never any excuse for anyone to hit their spouse. It's important though I feel, not to make assumptions in a discussion and give advice based on those assumptions. Better to ask the hard questions and respond accordingly or stay out of the discussion. I sometimes feel that people are not always asking for advice either. Sometimes they are distraught and just want some sympathy or a friendly ear.

You gave her good advise. I totally agree with you.

You are totally right, love is not supposed to hurt. Now I realize that some cultures give men the right to beat there wives but I cannot condone that kind of behavior. No matter who you are or where you live you should not have to worry about your husband beating you.

You know, like you, the only culture that I really know is the culture here in the USA. However, I think that our views toward domestic violence should be something that is global because it is never right to hit another person, and even less right to hit someone that is not able to defend themselves as well as the person that is hitting them. I was hit once by a man and I swore at that point that if it ever happened to me again, I would be gone before he even knew what was happening.

Naturally, I'm totally against wife beating. It's degrading and insulting. I can't imagine myself ever advising a woman to stay in a situation where she or her children are physically abused. For me, no excuse would be good enough. Men, according to the Bible, are supposed to treat the woman as part of themselves and with the same consideration they would give to their own body. All men don't live up to that, but that is what the Bible says.

hello madam,i feel physical abuse has no place in any relationship.such things only ruin our relation and do no better to it.the more abusive you go,more ruined id your relation. no matter the cultural difference,but there is one single religion we all need to follow and that's humanity.we should abide by the rules of humanity and women are no exception.