I need help understanding my husband..

this is not understandable at all. you have to have a serious talk with him. if nothing changes at all, then you have to move on as living with him will just put you in a miserable position and situation. it does not make sense living with someone who is an a**hole.

Hi Apple, Welcome to Mylot! Well, I think your husband has probably gotten worse because you put up with it. He's out having a great time and completly disrespecting you and your marriage vows while you are home doing it all. You say you are staying for the sake of the kids?? I would leave for the sake of the kids. If you have boys, they are going to learn to be just like their daddy only their future wives might not be as tolerant as you are. If you have girls, you are teaching them that this is what love and marriage is. Is this really what you would want for your daughters? He can't see your worth?? Love takes two and from the sounds of it, yours has been a one-way street for most of the marriage. I really don't understand why you would stay with this man but the choice is yours.

hello, You are not stupid accepting him back to you when you think he will change. But its already over you should stop giving him a chance anymore because he is just abusing you and what the hell he did? he just have s** with his office mate which is really hurt from your side. You should learned now from your mistakes. You dont need him actually because your parents also helping you and supporting you all the way. In this situation that you caught him having an affair is not for me? it not acceptable because he will continue doing it to you and hurting your feelings. You can live without him I know you can because you already have a children. Be strong in this situation, You already can lose him at first and maybe you can also do that for the second time. good luck!

I think that,is like you say you are with him for the kids, that is a,good reason to leave that man that doesn't have goals, don't think about you or,the kids and is a bad example for then, I know that if he would be your roomate you would move away beause you wouldn't want your kids learn bad habits from your roomate, what I mean is that with a kind of person like if he wouldn't be the father wouldn't allow your children be near because nothing positive they will learn.you won't miss him anyway because he doesn't help you on notning.

Hai friend...It is very sad to hear that...A man should look his wife after marriage..That's his responsibility..The partner should care and love his children and wife..Your partner don't know this...You have to make a serious talk with him.. Tell to him about the after effect of drinking and smoking..Or conduct any class to him To understand the seriousness of his activities..My father was like this before some months...My mother was earning for us...At last she called the main members in my family and made a serious discussion..Now he is earning and caring us.You can use thus way too...It will be very hard to live alone...You can't to earn that much alone for your children's future...Try to change him as a good husband and father.. Hope your partner will realize you...And he will care you & your children.... DON'T WORRY.. BE HAPPY.... GOD WILL HELP YOU my dear friend.... ALL THE BEST.....

Sorry for such a miserable husband. I think you are a hardworking woman who deserve to be with a more respectable husband. Where do he get money that he drinks and smoke? If I were you, I could prefer staying peacefully without such husband. He is just the wrong role model for your children. You just don't want your children to be like him. Hope he realize what he is doing soon.

I really do not want to offend you but you made a big mistake! you knew how he was and yet you went back for more?...soooo I think you can make your choice who is the stupid one?

A difficult circumstances. As a woman, I really understand how you feel. It is very difficult, facing your husband like that. I do not know if I can give advice or not, Because of my domestic situation, is also very bad. But, of your problem, you can discuss with your husband. You should ask your husband, if your husband, still care about you and your children or not. If your husband is still concerned, ask your husband to change, and building good household. I hope your husband able to talk well. I can only give this advice, as this should also do, to my husband. But, I never could do it, because my husband, who was difficult to discuss. Hopefully, you are more fortunate.

i don`t know why your husband had no hearts for you..you are too kind i think...be patient until 3 years..and i do understand if you want to divorce if you can`t stand up with him... just suggestion for you, you must increase the level of patient...

If he is still your boyfriend and you don't have kids yet then that is already confirmed a stupidity if you still want to settle on him. But now it is hard not to forgive or be separated with him because for a fact that you are legally married with two kids. That is one of the complicated decision because being separated has psychological effect especially for kids, not unless if they would be easily understand the whole thing and the reason. One more thing it is also hassle to be legally separated especially for annulment because you are going to spend much for that matter. I think if I were you I would ask legal advise if I can file a case against the husband whom I caught in the act of having $** affair with his office mate. Because that is considered as adultery already. But this is up to you if you want it but then again my advise is just to seek for legal advise. In his case he made stupid decision for womanizing that he didn't ever bother to think he has responsibilities in life already. On that way I don't think he is matured enough to handle relationship and obligations in life. For sure he is not ready to commit on that matter.

hi there... seems like i was in some sort of similar situation like yours 2 years ago. our only difference was that, i wasn't married.my daughter is now 2 years old. i don't think being pregnant is enough reason to marry a man. once you decide to marry, annulment is not that easy. My hospital bills were also shouldered by my father. my child's father has the same age as mine. yet, still has the mentality of a high school student.i've given him chances to change. yet all in vain. that's why i dumped him. you should've think many times before you married him. hoping for change isn't bad. it only becomes bad if you put your life and your happiness at stake, as well as the welfare of your children. Marrying a man who doesn't even know how to set his priorities is a big no-no. nonetheless, you're already in that situation. I suggest you talk to him once and for all. your children are growing up.your family is growing in number too. you should make things clear to him about the situation. that he is already a father of 2 kids and his responsibility to them. when does he plan to grow up?when your firstborn is already a full grown man? if he's not yet ready for fatherhood and the responsibilities it entails then leave him. make him realize your worth. if he's not that concerned about you, then he must have at least some concern towards your children. Who wants a broken family?no one. but if the situation calls for a need to be separated from your husband, then so be it.if that's the only way to make him realize his faults and change for the better, then do it. it's not easy to do. but if you really want to change the situation for the betterment of your children's welfare, then you must act immediately.you need to make your voice be heard. once you decide, be firm with your decision. come back to him when he is really ready for family life.there's always a room for forgiveness for those who are really willing to change for the better. good luck to you. always be strong.

Some people born for a married life and some don't... i think he's not married type of person and i think you better leave him fast, before your kid grows up and got influenced by him. I think you should find a man who is ready to have a family and i don't think that your current husband is the one. good luck...

its really sad to hear your story dear.... but for your childrens sake do not break the marriage.Because this will impact the bright future of your children. What I think is that you just have to separate yourself and your kids from him for some time.Because HE do not really know the worth of a wife.Specially the worth of a wife who had forgiven him 2 times for serious faults. You my dear have to make him realize that what he is doing is not good for himself,his family and even for his life. Involve his family members ..Involve your family members ...Do open and sincere discussions. I wish you good great luck for your marriage .I really want to see you and your husband as HAPPY COUPLE

You were not stupid for trying to save your marriage for the sake of the children but it appears he will be eternally irresponsible,and you might have to consider letting him go at some point even if it will come to the worst he should realize that he has a parental and financial obligation to his children,perhaps one day he will grow up and see what he is missing.