Hoarding...what is the solution?
By lisa0502
@lisa0502 (1724)
Canada
November 6, 2011 8:26pm CST
I believe that by all definitions of the word I am a hoarder. I have been working on this for a long time now. I also live with a hoarder and most of our families are hoarders. The big question is what needs to be done to solve this issue? I have cleaned out my house on numerous occasions. There are many things that I can easily get rid of but then tend to recollect them. Then there are the items that I just can not part with. I do live in a small place and there is 7 of us and pets. Now my house is not as bad as you may think. I do have room to move around but every inch I can pack I do. My house is not unsafe at all. Are you a hoarder r do you knw someone that is? Does anyone have ideas on how to deal with the issue? I am interested in hearing everyones input. Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@UmiNoor (4524)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 11
My husband is a hoarder but not to the extend that the house is full of junk and there's no space to move. He'll keep everything; from receipts, bills, papers, and even trash. I would usually throw away these things behind his back. It's best that if one is a hoarder, the other is not. Only then there will be balance. If both are hoarders, that's when the difficulties come in.
I think one shouldn't get too attached to material things. When we die, we don't bring these things with us. They will be left behind. So just throw away whatever that is not immediately needed or if they can still be used donate them like old clothes and toys.
I think you need to think this way. If you want to keep something, you need to throw away another or else you cannot keep it. That way you won't accumulate unnecessary stuff. All the best.
1 person likes this
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
Both my husband and I are hoarders. Some items I can freely get rid of but I do not throw out my husbands stuff without his consent. If this is a way that works for you then I am glad to hear that. What you may consider unnecessary I may consider necessary. As I said my house is liveable and not a safety concern to any of us. So what to you is unnecessary? And how do you decide?
@UmiNoor (4524)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 11
For me, what is unnecessary are things that I don't use anymore like last years' utility bills, last months' supermarket receipts, old clothes I cannot wear, my childrens' old clothes. The rule is if I haven't used it for the last 12 months, I don't need it and can throw it away.
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@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
7 Nov 11
wow lisa.. from what I understand most hoarders don't call themselves
hoarders..but bless you if you have come to the realization that you
are...based on your post you stated that your house is clean and safe
but if there are things packed in every available inch of your house
I can't really understand how its safe..there seems to be an issue
that you have to deal with. Hoarders eventually need the assistance
of some professional...What about the other 6 peoplein the house hold?
what are their thoughts about all the stuff that has taken up so much
room in the house..I am glad you tried to erased that first thought of a hoarders
house I had in my mind..based on what I have seen on the Hoarders
Show on TV..But I can't get that image out of my mind..I am not a hoarder
nor do i know a hoarder but good luck with clearing room for the holidays..
\
1 person likes this
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
8 Nov 11
I want to make something clear. My whole house is not packed, things like closets and that are packed. We have the rest of our house fairly clear with exception to the odd thing. I fully understand the consequences that would happen if my house was as bad as those shows. I would not have my kids. And nothing is worth losing my kids. But that being said, I still want to collect stuff and I do try but then catch myself. I always have my house cleaned up for christmas since I have to put 22 people in here.
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@maharlikah (1045)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Hi! Happy mylotting!
I am also a hoarder in a lot of things. From clothes to art materials to house ornaments and others. I am applying 5S's but only once a year, particularly during Christmas vacation. I have a neighbor who always helps me do it. If there are things that need to be disposed I but can still be used, I gave it to her. If she don't like she still take it and pass it to her cousins.
There are a lot of things that are of no use anymore but I just love keeping it. :-) Favorite things let me say.
Happy Monday!
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@hvedra (1619)
•
7 Nov 11
I have hoarding tendencies which I fight to keep under control. Like all hoarders, the hoarding is the sympton not the actual disease!
Hoarders often try to protect themselves with their hoard. I sometimes think it is used as a distraction, people (both the hoarder and those trying to help them) focus on the hoarding instead of the underlying issues so it doesn't change.
I sometimes think that a more effective solution is to remove the hoarder for a time (don't touch the hoard, just leave it alone) and get them into a situation where they are living simply. Perhaps a retreat centre or working holiday on a farm or other project where there is no opportunity or need to collect anything. Once we see we can live without the stuff we can start to get rid of the stuff.
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
You definately do have a valid point. It certainly can be a protection. I just got back from a two week holiday and have found myself getting rid of some items so maybe you have a point ther in removing the person. The only problem with that is in a while I will be back to getting more and getting rid of less. It is nice to talk to another "hoarder" to share ideas and opinions. Thank you for taking the time to share.
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@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
7 Nov 11
The solution to hoarding is professional help. The word “professional” by no means refers to a psychiatrist or doctor but refers to the ones who can not only solve the problem but also provide the remedy.
Help the person recognize that his/her actions are inconsistent with her greater goals or values. Ask the person about her goals and values: "What's really important to you in life? How would you like your life to be five years from now? What are your hopes and goals in life?" Discuss whether the person's acquiring or difficulty organizing or getting rid of things fit with those goals and values. This is most effective if you ask, rather than tell: "How does the condition of your home fit with your desire to be a good grandmother? You've told me that friendships are very important to you; how well can you pursue that goal, given the way things are right now?"
If you have been accustomed to arguing and threatening and blaming, your new approaches will surprise your loved one, and it may take a little time before the person begins to trust you. Try these methods in several conversations and notice whether the balance seems to be tilting in the right direction. If so, be patient and keep up the good work.
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@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
I know that I have helped my mother in law clean out her house. I have asked the very questions to her as you have posted. The issue is that even though her house been cleaned and purged the desire to hoard is still there. Just like in my own situation. Some of us can overcome the actual hoard but not the mental aspect of it. So how can we as friends/family help that aspect? Thanks for responding You for sure have some really good points to ponder.
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@pitch32 (78)
•
7 Nov 11
You seem like you genuinely want to sort out your problem with hoarding. Unfortunately it isn't easy as 'old habits die hard' as the saying goes. What you need to do is work out what you actually need, ie go round every room and see what is in the room and what you need, your bedroom for instance needs a bed and clothes and a cabinet, etc. If you look at something (a pile of old papers for instance) and realise that you don't need them as you will never pick them up again then recycle them. You have to try and break the habit, it's hard but doable. if you get anything new then you have to do the same thing, do i need this? if you don't dispose of it, if you do then keep it, but it is about need not want :)
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@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
Yes I do understand what you are saying. I have worked out most of my hoarding problems. I try to make more concious decisions when I buy items but there is always things that slip by and then I have to go through it again. Now is it considered a habit like smoking or a mental issue like depression? I know that when my mother in law gets depressed and anxious that is what sets off her hoarding. I feel that there is not really a solid solution to this issue but all the ideas are great and I can implement some of each to my daily life. Thank you for your ideas and I appreciate them.
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@AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
I guess that you are a very emotional and sentimental person at that. There are things worth remembering and keeping and there are things that can already be considered as trash and clutter which takes up space. I suggest that you sort things out first. Try to make a list of those things that you are hoarding and categorize them if they are still worth keeping or not. ?It would be nice if you can jot down the reasons on why you categorized them as such to make the decision of what to do with such things easily. Also, try to apply what company system do to de-clutter away files from their logs. Do a scheduled clean up or review of those things that you hoard and set time frame for which you will keep them. Much like archiving files and maintaining history for only a set amount of time. Companies do evaluate procedures on doing this, it might help you out on getting a solution too about your hoarding habits. I hope this idea helps you out.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
You definately have some good ideas there. But how does a person decide on what is worth keeping or not? There are items I have recieved of my grandmothers that have been easily tossed away and then there are items that have such a value I just can not part with them even though they are of no value or use. I do really consider many things when I clean out my house. I have recognised when items have to go. But my brain still wants to hoard. Thanks for responding and I am glad you shared your ideas.
@gagagaohlala (294)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Hey Lisa!
Do you happen to watch a TV series called Clean House? I believe that they give a lot of advise most especially to residents who keep on hoarding things that are usually no longer needed in their daily lives. You need space around the house to breathe and that you can have a space to go around and enjoy your abode. All you have to do is first gather thoughts about the things you still keep in your house that can be auctioned or sold but you also have to accept the fact that you need to detach yourself from these items and face a new you. :) I hope I have successfully shared my point. :) God bless and good luck!
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
I have seen many shows with regard to this issue. Some of them have good points and some of them I do not agree with. As I said with my house we can move freely and breath as I have forced myself alot to detach from things. But there are some that is too hard. Keepsakes from grandparents etc. I also hope that when my kids grow up and move out they will get to take and enjoy some of that...lol.
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