Jealousy -- Means You Really Love Someone.. Is it Okay to Other People or Not?

Marikina, Philippines
November 7, 2011 2:21am CST
If jealousy occurs, does it mean he or she does not love you at all? For me jealousy means he or she loves you so much. For me, it is fine with me if a man or woman got jealous. I do not know why. I got bored if I see the man I love who does not feel jealous. I was not secured. I feel as if he is not in love with me. I do not know other people. Maybe some other people would think that jealousy is not healthy because your partner does not trust you at all. I do not like extreme jealousy. I want to see a guy whom I love get jealous. A little bit feeling jealous of a guy would be enough with me. What do you say about a jealous boyfriend or a jealous girlfriend, a husband or a wife? Are you annoyed, pissed off or what? Its fine with me. I do not know other people. Maybe they hate it to be that way.
3 people like this
21 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
7 Nov 11
I don't mind a bit of jealousy either but if jealousy is eating you and you are not able to see clearly what is really going on, it's dangerous. So it depends on the person and if this is in the character as well. Mostly we deal with the kind of jealousy that is there because of character and because that person thinks he/she is the only one who has all the rights. This is a dangerous and unhealthy kind of jealousy and I don't like to be friends with these kind of people. They will only harm others and can never be happy for you.
2 people like this
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
me..i easily get jealous..especially if my partner didn't explained to me everything..and because of that, i also want my partner to also feel jealous, just a bit..i think it's healthy in a relationship to have a tolerable feeling of jealousy..not those jealousy as if you want to control your partner..it's just a child-like thing..but sweet..but unfortunately, my partner feels so secured about me..so she rarely feel jealous..in fact, i think the she only got jealous once..and it was when she's in the process of courting me..
1 person likes this
@Galena (9110)
7 Nov 11
you think it's unfortunate that your partner trusts you? lack of jealousy is a good thing, not a bad thing.
@Galena (9110)
7 Nov 11
I don't think that being jealous is a sign of love at all. I think it's quite the opposite. if you feel secure in your relationship and are in love, you trust each other, and you don't get jealous when they talk to other people because you know they're with you and won't cheat. if someone is possessive over someone, that's like thinking you own them. posessiveness is for things, not people. I would hate it if my husband was jealous. it's not healthy, and it would make me feel insecure in the relationship and like I wasn't trusted or loved
1 person likes this
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
hello, Yeah, being jealous is really natural. right? I agree to you that it is one way of showing feelings to other. It means you really care for the person you love because you got jealous. I really mean to everyone that I am a jealous girlfriend to my boyfriend and I am trying to change it because somtimes it is affecting our relationship. Now, I am more matured and not easily get jealous though sometimes I do. He he but you know I am trying. Well, I also like my boyfriend to be jealous because I dont like only me got jealous really awkward.
• Marikina, Philippines
7 Nov 11
Ha ha ha I remember my ex boyfriend. I am like you. Before I got so extremely jealous and at the end, I realized that it is not healthy so I stop myself for being extremely jealous to the one I love. Though there is a slight of jealousy deep within me, I can now control it and manage it. I do not want to be overly jealous to the one I love then suddenly, my love fade away because I got bored. Maybe the reason is I am not satisfied with him. He is so boring and I feel that we're just friends instead of lovers. I don't see him get jealous or what. I do not know. It is so boring.
• Romania
7 Nov 11
I can only tell you that having a jelous partner can be hell. Because if they think you are cheating, even if they have no reason at all, nothing you say or do can change their mind.It's not a sign of love, it's the feeling of property, which I think is wrong. How can you prove you haven't cheated, if it comes to that?There is no extreme jealosy, or little jealousy, it's either jealous or not. I don't wish you to find out what a jealous boyfriend means.
• Marikina, Philippines
7 Nov 11
Ohhh. I see. Well, for me, I really do not feel that a guy loves me if he didn't even get jealous. I do not like a guy who is overly jealous, but a "little jealous" would be enough with me because it seems that a guy does not care at all if he didn't feel a slight feelings of jealousy. He does not even afraid if I gone from his side. It is so boring. Sometimes I thought that we're not into a relationship because I didn't see him a slight feelings of jealousy, and because of this I feel that we're just friends instead of lovers.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
I also think that when someone becomes jealous over some guy it is a sign that he really loves you so much. But it should at least be a jealousy that you both could talk over and laugh with, say it without hurting each other. Some guys/girls physically hurt each other because of jealousy. That is not something I would want. A slight jealousy will be fine but it is really annoying to have someone who would hurt themselves or hurt me or someone else because of this.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
A jealous person is an insecure person and this is no way connected to true love. There is no room for jealousy if 2 people really love each other. I would hate to be with someone who showed any sort of jealousy. For me it would be a turn off and a sign that they didn't really know me.
@derek_a (10874)
8 Nov 11
Whilst jealousy can make us feel very secure at the beginning of a new relationship when passions are high, it can become very destructive if it goes on too long and it too over-bearing. I like to give people space to be as they are, and like them to do the same in return. I like honesty and trust, Jealousy doesn't offer me any trust and all I can say is that if a person is the sort of person who cheats on his/her partner, jealousy will tend to drive that person towards other people. I get the feeling that if I am going to be constantly accused and mistrusted that I will stay true and faithful, I might as well do what they expect and start seeing others. Indeed, this has happened with me in my youth and early relationships. _Derek
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Nov 11
To me, jealousy and love don't even exist in the same catorgory. I hate feeling jeoulous. It's a horrible feeling and I don't usually feel that way unless I've been given cause to in which case it signals that my relationship is in trouble and whether or not it is just percieved or me be insecure, It's still not a good thing and needs to be addressed. On the other side of it. I have dated jealous guys and I HATE it! When I'm in a relationship, I don't cheat or do anything to cause them concern. I know how bad jealousy feels so I would never do anything to make someone whom I love feel bad.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
7 Nov 11
IntrovertShy, There isn't a thing as the prerogative to be jealous; people merely justify this feeling as a result of some external events that they did not how to resolve or interpret emotionally, hence we classify it as jealousy. There isn't an absolute line to draw, other than independent self regulation to minimize feeling crappy. To generalize, what happens when there is jealousy the kind of person is likely to be: 1) An insecure person. 2) A person that sees love as a form of possession. Everyone generally suffers various degree of jealousy - the only cause for concern lies when jealousy adversely affects the relationship, be it whether it is justified or not. One myth about jealousy is that some people believed that it only manifest through triggering from the external environment - but the truth is that it's almost 100% an inside job. Jealousy is a self demon - the people around us cannot feel the intensity of one's emotion, unlike anger or fear, and it is often insidious. Like some hideous phantasmal forces, it feeds on the gnawing inferiority, gaining strength as our self esteem fades from the lack of holistic understanding in love. So, to work on 'jealousy', one got to work on your insecurity - by patching the emotional vulnerabilities that allow this 'demonic emotions' to exploit the inner self. The causes of insecurity are myriad and it isn't easy to pinpoint the exact root; even more arduous to implement changes. Here's how I see jealousy in relations to love in a relationship: We cannot stop love from leaving on its own accord, but we have every span of control to prevent ourselves from pushing love away. Ironically, most people understood this only when they understood regret. Perhaps enlightenment and regret is but two side of the coin, derived from the same product.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Awesome answer! Might add that if one feels jealousy and it is for a justifiable reason then perhaps one might want to kick back and consider why he/she stays in that relationship. To me that would be a red flag that the relationship was not a good one. I broke up with a guy that was overly jealous.I spent more time reassuring him that I was not cheating and not interested in other guys than I did enjoying my time with him. It got so old so quick. I wasn't enjoying his company at all...I was just justifying my not cheating. Clearly, he wasn't enjoying his time with me. I just finally put an end to his misery by breaking it off...there..now he had NOTHING to worry about. In my case, there was absolutely no justification. It was insulting really. Some people love this stuff and deliberatly try to make their partner jealous for some silly reason that I don't understand. That's insecurity and not love.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Nov 11
Moderate Jealousy is cute but Extreme Jealousy is annoying.
• Southend-On-Sea, England
7 Nov 11
I think jealousy can burn into a really dangerous emotion, although it doesn't necessarily mean to say the person who is jealous doesn't love the other person. Jealousy is a form of deep insecurity, and maybe if a guy doesn't get jealous, it means that he's either very comfortable and easy with himself, or that he totally trusts you, or a bit of both. I'd hate to have a jealous person around me, mistrusting me all the time, because of their own insecurity. A tiny bit of jealousy is OK, as it's nice to know that someone is that scared of losing you, but I think it can become lethal when it gets out of hand. Sadly it's often a compounding emotion whereby, if it isn't dealt with in its early stages, can run riot and get completely out of hand.
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Hi IntrovertShy! I notice that I get jealous whenever I feel insecure about myself. That is why in as much as possible I try to look good all the time because when I know I look good, I feel good inside and then no other woman can make me feel jealous.. But then again, I agree with you about not feeling secured when your boyfriend is not getting jealous. I experienced this before when my boyfriend was not getting jealous even if other guys were talking to me. It feels as if I was pretty enough to be liked by other guys. Anyway, good afternoon to you IntrovertShy and have a nice day! :) ^_^
@curmont (343)
• United States
7 Nov 11
The is certainly a difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy. We all experience jealousy from time to time it is a natural feeling one I don't think we can avoid when we care for someone and anyone who tells you otherwise is simply in denial. The problem is when some one is so consumed with jealousy that it takes away their partners freedoms or quality of life, this is not a show of affection.
• United States
7 Nov 11
I feel similar to you. I've always felt if a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't get jealous, they either do not care much, or they think they are so wonderful no one could possibly steal their mate from them. Either way, it's not good. Just my opinion.
• United States
7 Nov 11
Jealous in my book does not always equal love. For some people, it definitely means that they care about you...Unless it's completely possessive, then it can get out of control. I'm very jealous if I care about the person I'm with, however, I know a lot of men and women who don't get jealous, but that doesn't mean they care about their partner less...They just don't have that personality trait.
• India
7 Nov 11
Yeah i do agree with your saying regarding jealousy in love. Love actually born with a bit of jealousy,with a bit of trust and with a bit of belongingness.
@Mashnn (4501)
7 Nov 11
I have no problem with that "little jelousy" that almost everyone possess but I would really be concerned if it could be just out of control. That possessiveness that he won't even let you talk to someone else or just confine you in the house.
@almond24 (1248)
• Hungary
7 Nov 11
Jealousy can be a sign of love or can mean that we love our partner, but I think it rather means that we want to own him/her. A little jealousy is ok, I get jealous too sometimes. But when it means that we can't talk to others, only with permission, thanks but I don't need that. It rather means the lack of trust, especially when someone is too jealous. I'm sure that too much jealousy is hard for the jealous person too, and it needs a lot of work to overcome.
• United States
7 Nov 11
you have good points. I prefer not the jealous type though. I know not all jealous people are liek this, but i dont want someone who's on my case 24 7 asking me all kinds of questions "who's that" "where are you going" "how long have you known him" lol just my opinion though