She's moving out!

Well, she may be back in awhile too. All you can do is be there for her and be positive. I got married so I could get out from under my mother's domain. She didn't let me go easily and even had a key to my new apartment. My husband didn't mind since she ran me all over. I was nineteen and did pretty well.

Here in India no children leave their parents unless they need to work or study abroad and ofcourse after they are married. I left home when I was still in my teens but stayed with my sister.I never returned except for holidays. My mother chose my future over her need to have me around. But it is different with you guys out there. Children just want to be on their own and I sometimes wonder whether it is fashion or they really feel suffocated while living with their parents. Suffocated I hope they will be if they are up to something that their parents do not approve of. I am sure you did know that there would be a strong possibility that even your daughter would toe the line of other teenagers around you. Time will sort out everything Jen.

it is something that happens to everyone...a bird leavling the nest and now you will see if you taught your baby girl well, she will mould her own life, her own home, her own way of living, hopefully you taught her well which I am sure you have....

Jen, my daughter lives with her boyfriend too and although she has a nice mobile home that she owns they live in an apartment and pay rent each month. I don't agree with it and I don't like it, but she is old enough to make up her own mind and so I have to accept it. With your daughter, just be there when she needs you and remember that she loves you, but feels that she will be better without being home. She will realize it when the bills start to come in. You must trust her to use good judgement in her decisions, like you have taught her. Unconditional love is hard to give our kids but we must do it.

Hi Jen, Three of mine have already left and set out on their own. I know it is hard...it really is but give her a big hug and wish her well. I will tell you that all mine learned a lot each time and came back home, got their bearings and set out again. The oldest one is very settled and happily married. I would be sad and surprised if she were to return at this point. The other two seem ok for now but you just never know. I still have the 17 yr old here and I don't know how I'll react when she is gone. I don't even want to think about it. It could be worse. When I was a teen, I had plans to move in with my boyfriend much to my parents dismay. It was the 70's and still pretty taboo. In the end, I married my boyfriend and moved out right after graduating which dismayed my parents equally.

I left home when I got married and my mom was still heart-broken. I would not have been happy if she had been happy that I was gone. Sorry to hear about your situation with your daughter at this time.

At eighteen I went to college and at twenty, I got married. I never lived on my own. I think I should have, perhaps. I do not think "live with the boyfriend" is the solution, either, but I think it is a good thing to try living on your own. I trust you will always be a safe place for her to fall back on.

Mom, you did your job. You raised a young woman who knows what she wants And feels close enough to you to tell you her plans. Many would just run away. She felt comfortable enough to talk with you! Brava. All you can do is make sure she knows she can come home if she ever needs to , Without the " I Told you so" comments. Ok to answer you question. at age 18 I was planning to leave... this earth! I knew I would Never have it all figured out . By age 16 I thought since I didn't have a plan, there was no plan to have except to end things. So I never thought of leaving home. I would have been allowed. my mom was like you , a good, supportive mom. As long as I had a place to live , I think she would have been ok with me leaving home. But the way I was planning to leave she wasn't ok with. She convinced me not everyone has it all planned out and it was ok. So here I am Still without a plan and Still at home. My mom is gone but I'm still at home.

Oh yes I was heart broken when my first child left home at 18...but I new from the start that they were not mind to keep! I know they are so young and think they have all the answers[ so did I at that age][ but how wrong I was!]but in those trying years my daughter[ or should I say the 3 of them][ because all did the same] they came and went...my door was/ and still is open if they need a place to stay...they know they can count on that! they are not mine to keep I knew it all along and I am glad they had the courage to seek and find where they belong...today they are successful and why? because they had the freedom to chose...and make mistakes but they always knew they had a place to call home. I left my parents place at 20 years old and I was allowed back any time I wanted to...and yes they were sad to see me go...I married soon after and visited as often as I could until I came to Australia... but then that is another story.

I am sorry. I am still home. I didn't know anything when I was 18. No one knows anything at 18. Please keep us posted.

Hi JenInTN Well, that is sad to read but... I think that is the way the world becomes today. I wish your daughter gets those figures right when it comes to practicalities and I am more sure for her as she is your daughter. I never wanted to leave the family. And I was even reluctant when I was to join for work at a different city. A day or two away with friends at the Hostel was fine but leaving for months and maybe years to come... Not me. I still remember I was forced to join and my parents were literally harsh and said If I did Not join, they would throw me out of the house Maybe they wanted me to grow up. Though I continued my job at the new place and over the years, we (me and my family) became distant, I always wanted to be back with them... Luckily this UC happened and I was back with them for a few years. Today, I have been staying away from the family(parents) since 2005 and now that I am married, I think I will stay away as now, the definition of family has shifted from parents to wife and me (and our kids in the future).

I think you should not to be worried so much. at her age i think she could already handle herself alone. being independent is one of the great experience. for a while you will feel heart broken, but at the time you will feel comfortable and accept for it. she will not be gone for a long. it's just she need a time for herself. I know you've been a good mother to her and you raised her up with full of advise and education. nevertheless, you should have trust on her and believe on her. One thing for sure about your daughter, she will come back after you! she will definitely miss your presence. Just always remind her by phone call or whatever means of communication about her limitations and rules. Above all, Tell her more about the gospel. word of God. it would really help to both of you to have a peace of MIND. I hope everything will be fine to both of you! God Bless :)

Well, since she's of legal age already and since she has decided to move out, then just let her. You already did your part by advising her not to go and telling her that she's not ready yet. All you can do is to let her know that you are always there for her and you're there to support her all the way.

Who's ever really ready to move out at that age? But we all have to do it at some time or at least we should. You have to trust that you've raised her well and that she's smart/responsible enough to handle being on her own or at least knows that she can always come to you for help or move back home if she needs to. Basically, just allow her to grow up and be there to support her. I wanted to move out when I was 18 but I was the youngest and my mom really didnt want me to go. I was in college but lived at home. I wasnt allowed to keep any of my paycheck so I couldnt save to get my own place. I ended up quitting college and joining the military because I thought it was the quickest way to move out and be on my own without needing money to do so. Things worked out in the end but what I'm saying to you is that things could always be worse and dont push her way by holding on to tight.

my daughter is the exact opposite. she doesnt want to work and is quite lazy. she wants to go to school but has no money. maybe we can combine the two girls and get a happy medium??!!

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties, but at the end of the day, we each feel the need to find our own way in life and begin the process of making a home for ourselves. I can remember doing the same thing - confusing my parents, but I just needed to do what I felt compelled to do. I was quite young too at the time and moved in with my girlfriend. In those days, it wasn't so favourably looked on, but I think I wa part of that generation that was rebelling back in the 60s. OK, the relationship didn't work out and I went back home, but in a way, I am glad that I had that life experience of being in a close relationship. I thought I had it all figured out, but no, I didn't really. I experienced exactly what it was like to have to be responsible for all my bills etc. My parents said they wanted to help me financially and could have easily had done so, but it wouldn't have been supporting me in my need for independence. _Derek

i dont know what to say. i moved out when i was going to live in with my wife. i was 28 back then. i was the last of 5 siblings who got married and my siblings got married on a early stage and i was left alone with my mom. it was perfect for theh ouse was quiet and not crowded har har har. in times like this it is hard to let go of a child even they are 18 yrs old already. plus she is a young lady and you know how complicated the world outside is on a young lady. but since in your country it is natural for an 18 year old person to live alone if they want to then it is hard not to let her go. i pray and hope that its gonna be okay. tell her to stay safe. hugs

I moved out when I was 19 years old to live with my Aunt who was only five years older. She ended up moving to Florida about a year later and I stayed in the apartment till I was evicted and moved back home. When you are young you always think you have it all figured out. It usually does not work out. My sister is going through the same thing only her daughter is 21 but she really is not making enough money to afford the apartment in New York City. So my sister is quite upset and sick over her leaving this past Friday. I told her "let her go and make her own mistakes like we all did. Before you know it she will be back realizing she can't make it out there just yet."

Hi, These days children are more advanced and they want to make their own space. They make up their mind and set goals for themselves. I really wish she would learn a lot in a short while and she can handle everything on her own. Just make sure she is in constant touch with you so she is at ease to come back when she start missing you. In India, these days the children go out of home for higher studies or better jobs. I left my parents after getting married. But my daughter 14 now, wants to go abroad for higher studies..

i moved out when i was 19 with my parents consent for further studies.i used to come back in vacation and after i was done with my studies i got married.so i didn't get much time to return to my nest again.i do go there once in a while and my parents also visit our place but somehow,when you move out once to stand on your own feet,there is no returning back. i know it might be difficult for you to face it but have trust in your child and be more friendly to her so that she doesn't hide any thing from you and seek your advice even after staying away from you.