I killed myself already!
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
November 10, 2011 12:03am CST
I meant, I killed my old self..and Now I am a new person.
I have had a lot of things happen to me in the past, and in the recent months and I know that I have gone through hell.. and maybe i am just a few more steps closer to its exit. I told my self I could no longer hold on, that i am so tired of the situation, and that I am already bruised, and i have lost a lot of blood and tears!
I was crying everyday. I was so hurt I wished everyone who took part in it suffer more than I do. I want revenge more than anything else.. to make them feel so hurt, and in pain ten times what I suffered...
But I realized, I can choose not to suffer. I realized, yes. the experience changed me. The experience will most definitely make things "never the same" in my case but that means that it is an opportunity for me to kill my old self and ressurect the BETTER and STRONGER ME!
Have you had similar experienced when something, or an event, caused you to change yourselves? (you became tough, you became stronger, more understanding, etc)
3 responses
@maz1207 (221)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 11
owh! Ok..you seems a little bit stress out but gain confident after that. I have been in your shoes too but i kept in my mind, no matter how suffering i am right now, there are other people that suffer more. Hope you'll get through it.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
thank you maz. Thank you for encouragement and for the well wishes that i get through this. today i cried again... but i am able to control it more than ever. I am slowly getting stronger and i know in time i will be able to break free from the chains that are holding me down, and slowing me. Thank you for the great realization i have with people in mylot and with my friends.
@liumirror (138)
• China
10 Nov 11
First,congratulations.You decide to let unhappy time got away.I also have unpleaseant time .Yesterday ,a customer blame me without reason.It reminder me of so much bad experience that tear from my eye.But life is going on.Tear is do nothing except let your bad mood out.
I hope you will have a good and happy start.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
Thank you for the response, andfor your well wishes. It is a very hard decision to make. I am really close to giving up, i have thought of doing a lot of things that could break me, or other people i want to hurt as well.
I found treasure in those tears. I think I am better each time a tear drops and it makes me feel stronger. I know that everytime a tear is shed a confidence is built... But that's just me.
Thank you and I hope we all find treasures in our trials.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
11 Nov 11
I had experiences like you had. It's not important if it was worse or not or took longer. But I already decided on a very young age to safe myself since nobody did. I payed a very high price for that but still did not regret it.
I was not satisfied with the stupid answers people gave me on my misery, their lack of understanding and decided to go on with my life alone. To make myself as happy as possible. I still have problems (very big health problems) but I am very proud on me I did safe myself and I am proud on me.
And you? Be proud on yourself. You don't need anyone just yourself to be happy. That is the only thing that counts.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi kitty! its true, it does not matter which took better, if it was long time but then we all grieve on our own ways. i grieved for myself, for being silly and fool and for being played at.. but im out of it now - i thought i could never be in this situation now that ti won't be crying anymore... it sure felt as if it was part of the daily routine before... but its now all better. :D thank you for my friends in mylot, for the discussions, for those who shared my experiences and made me feel i am not alone. thank you for your response! really appreciate it and have a wonderful day at mylot!
