Used to be "Close Friend"
By enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
Philippines
November 10, 2011 4:20am CST
When I liked or cared for a friend, I will treasure them and will like them to still be good friends even if we got separated by distance. No matter how far that person may be, whether she/he is somewhere in the desert or in the center of the ocean, in the same country where I was or in a different country... I still communicate with them even with just a small chat.
I rarely like and treasure friends. Maybe because I have lost a lot of "friends" before because I always end up choosing those that are "not for keeps", those who will be gone once you're not near them. I normally picked friends that I thought are genuine but end up to be trash talking behind me.
Not all the time 'though. Some just wanted not to communicate anymore as they have new friends. Some just become completely cold and stopped communicating for no reason at all.
I'm being so 'EMO' right now. Maybe because the close friend I had for 3 years have not been chatting with me nor leaving any messages, when in fact she's still updating her FB but chooses to be offline in chat. I saw her online one time(she was stunned becoz she said she set it offline) and chat just to say "Hello and how are you" (where normally she ends up telling me a lot of story...) she said she'll just go to YM. So she logged on and then did not even say anything and logged out in a few minutes. And one month passed she never left any message even in facebook. Since then I never sent any message too.. I'm just letting it be like this. Some of our close friends told me that it's also hard to get to her as she's not taking their calls unlike when all of us were all staying together.
She got a new close friend now. Woaw I don't like to sound so jealous but I guess that's life... Friends, they come and then they go. Maybe she don't like us anymore and decided to be in a new group. I think I just have to stick with my bestfriends, the only real friends I have.
Not all the time 'though. Some just wanted not to communicate anymore as they have new friends. Some just become completely cold and stopped communicating for no reason at all.
I'm being so 'EMO' right now. Maybe because the close friend I had for 3 years have not been chatting with me nor leaving any messages, when in fact she's still updating her FB but chooses to be offline in chat. I saw her online one time(she was stunned becoz she said she set it offline) and chat just to say "Hello and how are you" (where normally she ends up telling me a lot of story...) she said she'll just go to YM. So she logged on and then did not even say anything and logged out in a few minutes. And one month passed she never left any message even in facebook. Since then I never sent any message too.. I'm just letting it be like this. Some of our close friends told me that it's also hard to get to her as she's not taking their calls unlike when all of us were all staying together.
She got a new close friend now. Woaw I don't like to sound so jealous but I guess that's life... Friends, they come and then they go. Maybe she don't like us anymore and decided to be in a new group. I think I just have to stick with my bestfriends, the only real friends I have.4 people like this
15 responses
@ehleonkyrietales (452)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Maybe there's something occupying her so much right now. Why not try to talk to her about it? Since you were friends she would understand and explain. If she really is experiencing something difficult right now, she might need you after all.
@ehleonkyrietales (452)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Although its not common for girls to act tough, she might be right now. You can do it. *Wink
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
I've sent her an offline message before as well... but got no response. Her new close friend is our roommate before... so I think they got so close now since I'm no longer with them. And I've been seeing their small conversation in FB. When she has problems she used to tell me even when we're no longer roommates. That's why I don't get the reason why she suddenly goes into hiding.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
well I guess yeah maybe I will have to force myself thinking about what you suggested 
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
10 Nov 11
OH Lord, I feel your pain! Your confusion!
Some-one, I held so very dear in my heart, whom I bailed out of trouble, stood up for, shared my home...I intermittently raised her daughter (whom is my God Daughter)...THIS OVER 23 years, just up and "dropped me like a hot potato" --after she met the man of her dreams, from a wealth plateau...and I just wasn't good enough for her anymore---yet, I had pulled her from the dregs of he!! many times.
There is NO hurt like that...and there is 23 years of friendship to bury! AND Boy, do I wish I could!
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
10 Nov 11
NO...it ended with what I considered an abusive phone call!
I had "picked up the pieces" thru two of her divorces, giving her a home (and Goddaughter)...and the one time that I really (in all those years) asked her fro something...a should to cry on (during my divorce)she turned her back! And wandered away into her wealthy world...never to be seen or heard from again! I even, flew home from a family vacation at Disneyland to make her wedding cake for her last marraige! Left my son & ex-hubby in So. Calif...just for her!
I don't know what to say in your case...is it possible to go and have a face to face, and see if there is something unexplained??? Wondering can/will really put a lot of stress on you...I wish you well!@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Whoaww yours is more painful compared to mine
What I'm going through is just surely confusion about my friendship with her, and we had not talk about it yet. maybe yes, some people are right that she maybe is going through some trouble and don't wanna bother me or she just thinks maybe that there is no need to tell me about it anymore since we're so far away from each other now.
But what happened to you was really something I don't wanna experience. 23 years of friendship and you've given all the help she needs, and then forget you like that?
Didn't she even sent you a mail?
Hmmmnn... well I'm glad I haven't met someone like her yet.
What I'm going through is just surely confusion about my friendship with her, and we had not talk about it yet. maybe yes, some people are right that she maybe is going through some trouble and don't wanna bother me or she just thinks maybe that there is no need to tell me about it anymore since we're so far away from each other now.
But what happened to you was really something I don't wanna experience. 23 years of friendship and you've given all the help she needs, and then forget you like that? Didn't she even sent you a mail? Hmmmnn... well I'm glad I haven't met someone like her yet.1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Not possible at all coz she's in another country where I also used to be. I guess I have to leave it at that, maybe one day she'll buzz.. hmmmnn well
You're such a good friend for her, did a lot of sacrifices for her but turned her back when you needed at her shoulder for you to cry on or her ears at least to listen to you. Can't blame if you feel resentment and never look back on that friendship
You're such a good friend for her, did a lot of sacrifices for her but turned her back when you needed at her shoulder for you to cry on or her ears at least to listen to you. Can't blame if you feel resentment and never look back on that friendship
@umabharti (3972)
• India
10 Nov 11
yes friends do become close some times ,and sometimes for a long time they remain an unknown friends to each other.
Its life friend ,however i would not wish to leave any of my known persons.Starting only i will try to avoid if i feel that i could not continue friendship or some times i try to be continuing forever though that seems that it got ended up.
Its life and we should not intentionally leave the freindship as if we leave then it becoems a selfish type freindship.
Friend is friend.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
10 Nov 11
yes feel sorry for that friend who after 23 years of time lost friendship.
:) good you want to continue the freindship with your friend.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Hi umabharti!
Yes friends are friends. I guess I should still be a friend to her, even if she might not want me anymore
and as long as she did not do something worst like what pergammano's friend did to her
and as long as she did not do something worst like what pergammano's friend did to her
@redmaryjane (891)
• United States
11 Nov 11
Why does it seem that your friendship is based on Facebook and YM? Friendships go beyond just these things. You ought to be friends because you care about them and not because they're on your Facebook. Have you ever talked to her on the phone? In person maybe?
Technology makes communication easier, but it shouldn't replace human contact, or real human connection.
I hope you won't be too upset that she isn't communicating with you. I also hope that you make another effort to physically contact her and honestly ask her what's going on. She might be going through something and is probably afraid of talking about it. However, if she still chooses to ignore you, then cut your losses and move on. It does sound like you value her friendship. I hope something comes up and that things will be better :)
@phoenix35 (384)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
Sometimes friends just go on their separate ways but your relationship with this friend seemed to have ended for no reason. You should try talking to her. Just a casual hello, how are things... Maybe your friend has a problem. But, if its really her. Then its her loss that she isn't your friend anymore.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
I hope not I will only know it once I go back there. If she does what she do to other 4 of our friends, then I think I will have the answer by then...
I will only know it once I go back there. If she does what she do to other 4 of our friends, then I think I will have the answer by then...@phoenix35 (384)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
The best of luck for you my young friend. If your friend is worth keeping, then do everything you can.
@clearwater18 (695)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
Well, if that's the case, then maybe you should just stop being friends with her since she doesn't show any effort anyway. If she seems to act like she's avoiding you, then just let her be. I also had a friend once who's like that. After graduation, we talked with the group that we would keep our communication even when we would be going our separate ways but then a few months passed and then, we never heard of that friend anymore. She just posted pictures of her new friends on the internet but she never even once tried to reply to our messages. I don't get it why. I guess we just have to move on and just stick with those friends that we have that are real.
@clearwater18 (695)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
We both live in the Philippines but then she now lives in Manila while me and the rest of the group live some place else so, we don't get to see each other. Actually, there was a time when she came back here to our place and we saw each other at the mall and so, I asked for her number and then, for like a week, we communicated with each other. But the next week, she stopped communicating again. I really don't get it why. The rest of the group also can't understand her.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
Wow seems like your friend don't really wanna communicate with you. We have a slightly different situation here. My friend is in another country, and if she'll be back here in the Phils... I will need to take a plane to visit her. Unlike your friend there, who I guess can see you just by taking a cab, a jeepney or maybe walk for a few minutes.
Maybe I should stop whining
coz you have more reasons to feel upset or wonder what happened with your friendship with her
coz you have more reasons to feel upset or wonder what happened with your friendship with her
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
Hi enelym!
That's just so sad. I can relate however, with you about the jealousy thing. When I went to college, I went to another province and my high school friends stayed here in town and took their college here. During summer breaks, me and my high school friends would see each other and most of the times they would bring or invite their new friends. I hated it. I felt jealous and I felt out-of-place. I think that's one reason why I am not that close with my high school friends anymore.
I was at a time, the mean person though, who treated badly a friend. I ignored her when she was trying to get my attention. I did not want to be involve with her personal problems. It just seemed so much of a hassle to be involve with her. The solution to her problems was simple but she was just stupid not to do it. And I didn't have patience for her then. But I'm glad she's doing okay now in her life.
Anyway, friends really do come and go. It's only the true ones that remain.
@serialmommy (639)
• United States
10 Nov 11
I have a friend who I used to be very close with. We would talk a lot, see each other frequently, let each other know what has been going on in our lives, all of that. Over the last 4 years, we have grown further and further apart. I know that part of it is the man she has been involved with, she's become involved more with his friends and his life than the one she had. I guess I don't fit in with that crowd or something. We are friends on facebook, but I've thought about deleting her. I kind of feel like "Why should she be able to look in on my life when she can't even take the time to respond to a message I've left or call me back after I've called her?" It's sad for me because we were so close for so long, it's closing a door on a part of my past. I'm sure that one day I'll delete her, that day isn't here yet though. I do have it so I don't see any of her updates, or those of her boyfriend. He may even be her fiance by now, I don't know because she hasn't told me. I didn't even know they were buying a house until I saw it on facebook. Oh well. That's just how it goes sometimes. People move on and into different directions. Sometimes you stay friends with them and sometimes you have to just let go.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
that's pretty bad, you've been so close for long years but don't know much now. And that's the same thing that's been happening with other 4 friends of us. Even they sent her an SMS or call her, she's not taking the calls or get back to them. Or sent them an SMS. It will take days for her to reply saying some excuses. While sometimes she just won't mind replying.
Maybe yes, they want to move on into different directions leaving passed the friends she have made in the past. It isn't like she's going through tough times, maybe that will be understandable if she don't want to get connected with her friends, it seems like she's having a very happy life now. Then why would she do that. Well I do hope you can find a way to delete her but I think you should not do that. Just set some privacy on few things about you.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
14 Nov 11
Hi enelym: I am sorry to know this. Maybe your friends are right and she has found another new friend. People comes to our lives and we never know how much time will they last. The only thing I can tell you is let it be. If she is a really good friend she will come back to your life at some point.
ALVARO
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
14 Nov 11
If she decides to avoid you, why would you bother to make an attempt to chat with her. I would might as well delete her from my friend list. I don't want to be a nuisance to somebody you know. If she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, don't even bother, take them off your list. That is all.
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
sometimes friends come and go and what remains are memories to hold on. Friendship is always there, it will not go away unless you stop being a friend. Let go and like you have said, stick to those who are there with you right now.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Hello Edna!
I should really stick with my bestfriends who are with me no matter what. But I guess such incident will not make me stop being a friend with her, the memories and friendship will remain until she realized I am still here to be her friend. I just need to maybe accept it now that she wants to be with new friends.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
11 Nov 11
Close friends are difficult to have 'only online.' Keep 'close friends' offline (using 'online' just to catch up with `em til next time you're with `em IRL), and maintain/fix your friendship 'offline' first.
Oh, you can be 'good friends' online (glad to see them whenever you do, but not jilted if they don't make an effort to see you); but it's called 'virtual' for a reason, and sometimes people have so much 'real' stuff to watch-over that their 'virtual' stuff falls into disarray.
@miranda85 (48)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
I don't think that your girlfriend is busy with her work. I believe she have a deeper reason. But if you really like to revive the friendship that you had. Just keep on communicating with her, even though she ignored it, so what? ryt. You never know one day your simple "HI" will make her wake-up that your friendship is still there after all what she did.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
yeah that's a nice suggestion.. I don't find any reason why she don't wanna communicate. But I guess yeah I should keep the friendship, maybe now she needs time only to the friends she have with her now. And some time away for her old friends.
@myrnz626 (112)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
That's life..people come and go,but friendship is always there. Even there is no communication. But ,true friends grow separately without growing apart. We always care and think about each other. True friends love at all times.
