How do you know you should stop?

I think there is a great misconception or argument about what loving ourselves really mean. Others think that they should always put themselves first before others. Others also say that by loving too much, you are robbing yourself of love intended for you. To answer your question as to when we should stop, I say, we should never stop. We should never stop loving, never stop caring, never stop giving happiness to others. It should always be our attitude to never expect anything in return because if we do we will end up frustrated and depressed. We are humans - which means there is a great tendency of loving ourselves more than others; seeking our happiness more than the happiness of others. People can never measure up to how we expect them to treat us which would leave us depressed. All of us should seek to defy this. We should love not because we expect to be loved. We should care not because we expect people to care for us. We should give happiness not because we expect to be happy. Seeing how much love we give, how much caring we can do and how much happiness we bring to others should be enough reason to continue because this will ultimately mean that we love ourselves enough by bringing others ahead of us.

Stop doing things for others?? We should not stop doing so~At the same time we need to be fair with ourselves as well. I always say to myself not to give my full heart to everything till I missed the other behind. We need to spend and save a little for ourselves so we won't regret it in a future. So don't stop helping others just spend some or give some of the time just for yourself.(^^)

It is so true. Often we give more to others than they will ever give back to us, and often we give more to others than we even allow to give back to ourselves. We need to remember when giving back we do need to make sure and take time to do things for ourself, and be able to Love ourselves and take time for ourself. Not everything needs to be focused around someone else. When we neglect ourselves things happen and often we are the ones with BIG regrets.

That is the key of a good and fruitful life - Balance. Too much of anything is not good. You need to set your priorities in life... If you want to give much time to your family - then spend more time with them and less work...

Hi, i think i sacrifice for,people a lot too. I think about them first than myself. I try to change and be selfish but i can't. It's really hard to change.

That is really a difficult situation. Balancing your time and efforts are important for us to enjoy our everyday life. Be sure to take a break sometimes. You should stop doing things for others if you don't enjoy doing it anymore. It's hard to stop, so maybe talk to them personally about this issue. Maybe they can help you and support you about this.

Hi Chiyosan, I think that when you start feeling angry and/or bitter about it then it is time to stop giving to others. When you feel that you are getting nothing in return then it is time to stop. To continue on would mean that you are not giving in the right spirit. If you were then you would feel happiness from giving and that alone would be enough.

when you are not happy anymore doing these things, when you feel you are not whole, and when you start thinking if what you do is worth it all...

I think it can be very hard at times to know where to draw the line. I think it is very frustrating when I help someone out a lot or do something for someone and they don't show appreciation for what i've done. And unfortunately I've noticed that I've done this quit a bit. But I think a person has to decide if they are being taken advantage of if they are it's important to draw that line quickly. I will I think always continue to care for others a lot, unless I see that they don't treat me the way I deserve to be treated, or they disrespect me.

I think we shouldn't stop caring for others. In your case, you only have to start caring about yourself. Caring about the self doesn't mean we should stop caring for others. We can love ourselves more and we can also still love other people. Loving other people unconditionally is the best love you'll give to others. If you decided to love yourself more and to care for yourself more, there's no need to stop caring and loving others. Just balance.

You know when to stop if it's eating you. If you forget about yourself. If you don't get positive energy out of it, if you feel empty, (ab)used, tired, depressed, can only complain and need your holidays or free day off very badly!

I guess we should stop caring for them if we have given everything and even our life,but they seem to not give anything in return and just take us for granted. If we continue to help parasites,a time will come that none is remained for us.I guess we should also care for ourselves even when we love others.:)

Before stopping, I think its best to make those person aware of what we have done, if it still goes unappreciated, then it is enough to stop. In situations like these, it's not really optional to stop. The best way to go about these things is to find balance in everything you do. You can still continue to give, to care but make sure that you leave something for yourself, too.

We should stop in something that we are doing if we no longer feel the calling for it or if our body no longer permits it. What I actually think is that we are doing ourselves a favor by doing good service to others because that thing we do is the oil that keeps our engine going. We are not giving too much if we are giving willingly.

Maybe it's just me but I don't see a bad thing in giving everything to others. The key is more to finding those places where giving becomes getting: a rewarding job.. in money or achievments, depending on what you need to feel accomplished, a better half that gives as much as he/she gets so you have harmony in your private life, friends that help you when in need because you would do that and you do that with every chance you get, and so on. Not getting anything in return is frustrating but also not doing anything for others can be bad for self esteem.. at least for me it was.. I feel good about myself when I do things for others. So my advice is to try and work on the targets of your giving and not about stopping and focusing on yourself.. self focused people can become lonely and it might lead to other forms of frustration.