Would you post (facebook) a break up song if you are in a relationship?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30183)
Philippines
November 12, 2011 6:21am CST
There was this story of a man who seemed to have not moved on from a previous relationship and is now with a new woman. The man then posted a break up song, remembering your times together, etc - he seemed to have not moved on from the previous relationship when he did this... because he knew his gf would be able to see the mtv on his account.
If you were the woman - would you feel offended that he is posting something like that in his account knowing that you have issues with his ex and knowing that he could possibly be still in love with the previous relationship?
If you were the man - would you even do this, post a song you already posted before but deleted because you already were asked by your gf? would you think its no big deal, really?
2 people like this
9 responses
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
As a woamn, of course I will get offended if my ex posted such type of songs knowing that he had an issues with his ex. I will break up with him and tell him to that before he enters in a relationship again, make it sure that he's no longer in love with the previous girl so that he wouldn't hurt another one. Being in love with the ex while in current relationship means no respect with the partner. He/she should consider the feelings of the partner before making actions.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
I wouldfeel the same too, i would also be angry because this is not the first time that it happened and it was supposed to be have been cleared during their first talk about the issue. I would say that this boyfriend does not care at all and is just using my friend, right?
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
some people does not think rationally i guess. he obviously did this to send a message to my friend - indirectly that he still loves the ex and wants to break up with her.. and so they did break up and as if nothing happened! he acted as if he does not care about the relationship and he is just not worth it!
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
15 Nov 11
Oh, he really think it's nothing and just like the friend is worthless to him....He is not the good boyfriend type. He should not start new relationship if he is not ready for it. That's not clever to start new relationship and at the same time still got feeling with the ex. What if the ex-girlfriend has no intention to get back to him? It such an ashamed!!!(^^)
@elysiamarie (147)
• Canada
12 Nov 11
The man described above, with what little information I was given seems to be someone who may have attachment issues. Most likely stemming from early childhood trauma or neglect from his mother.
This man is desperate as he feels he was abandoned by his ex and would do anything to have her back. The new lady he is with is just a "security blanket" until he can re-unite with his "woman".
For the woman who is now in a relationship with him. I highly suggest you end it before it gets out of control. Men like this are very hard to live with and will make your quality of life suffer. He is always going to be looking for that woman he lost. Even if he does come around to start thinking of you that way, and looking to you for motherly comfort, it is not a healthy relationship.
I hope this helped!
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
thank you for your response to the discussion elysiamarie. :D I would really think that this is the case and she was made into a "rebound relationship" My friend decided to end the relationship already... and well the guy does not seem to care too much as he has not replied already to the woman. so i guess he is still attached to the ex, right?
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
12 Nov 11
I would not posted and if I was the girlfriend, I probably would not liked since this is a proof that he still care about the ex-girlfriend enough to post something about her and that she probably would see. If everything is fine with his new girlfriend, I don't see the point to post something like that.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
I have thought of this as well... I told this to my friend who said that is what she felt, and felt offended because he did this in facebook which is sort of a public announcement too, knowing that they have common friends, and all. its an outright insult to her.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
Yes, i would be offended. It's annoying. If i was the girl, I wouldn't be with a man who is still tied up to his ex. That's an absolute no-no to me. I would never date a man who just broke up with his ex girlfriend. When I see my man post a video like that, I would ask him out front. Of course, maybe he's doing it to express his feelings so i shouldn't be angry with him. It would be my fault that i agreed to be his girlfriend. I can't blame him.
If i were a guy, i wouldn't date another woman just to get over my ex. I'll figure myself first before getting into another relationship.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
Exactly my point, and my friend's point with the boyfriend- but they have broken up now and apparently it seemed to me that the man only used this venue to annoy my friend who confronted him... then he told her they need to cool off and they need space because she thinks too much?! duh. do you really think its because of the reaction? i think its a plan!
Im glad she is over this man and well on to the next!
@deadlywario0 (57)
• United States
13 Nov 11
If I was the women I would feel pretty chopped up by this. Whether this would "break" me or not depends on the person. This is very deep stuff It all depends on the people involved.
If I was the man I would do this, and have done this, I did not feel regretful at all but rather it was my way of closing the "book" and feeling that closeness so I could close that "chapter" in my life and move-on. Yes i'd feel a little guilty because I/you are potentially guilt-trapping her but, Hey if it works.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
thank you for your response, when my friend confronted him, he said there is nothing with it and there is no other meaning to it, but he has done the same thing before and he was told that it felt a disrespect to my friend but he chose to do it again - for what purpose?
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 Nov 11
I think that it is sweet that the guy still has feelings for his ex gf, but that if he does he doesn't need to be in a relationship. He needs to figure it out, go through the hurt, or whatever might happen. He needs to step back and find out why he still feels that way and if his ex still does.
@Black_Diamond (10)
• Vietnam
12 Nov 11
Hi,
If I were new gf of this guy I would asked him about his action although I am very sad. It's really strange. I must be sure about his think. An if he still love his ex I will provisionally stop to think about us and this relationship. We should have time to carefully assess love for each other. Maybe his action is temporary and he need a opputunity.But I am sure that I will end this relationship instantly without regret because I can't accept my man loves other girl. He has the right to remember his memories but don't have right to love other girl although she is ex. Wanting to love me he need forget ex first.