My mom started dating again!
By Noseclams
@Noseclams (149)
United States
November 12, 2011 6:49pm CST
My mom is 50 and has been single for 24 years and for as long as i can remember, has been very overweight, which played a huge role in her poor self confidence and keep her from pursuing any type of social life. In the past 3 or 4 years she has lost well over 100 pounds and has got a lot her self confidence back, which i am extremely happy about. She has spent the last 25 years of her life with me has her main focus and deserves to focus on her and her happiness. Even though i don't live with her any longer we still talk 4 to 5 times a week and she likes to talk about her social life with me, and i am having a much harder time than i thought with this whole thing. I get very uncomfortable when she talks about going on dates and getting hit on by guys. I usually get upset if she gets hit on or 'checked out' when we are out to dinner or something, and i realize that i am just her son and not her father and it's not my place to be involved in controlling her romantic life. I do want her to find a guy she likes and have a healthy relationship, i just don't want to hear about it or have to witness guys trying to pick her up. She says that i am being way too overprotective, but she has been out of the dating game way too long and i don't want some jackass taking advantage of her. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or could give me some advice?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
14 Nov 11
you're so cute..it's really natural for a son to act like that..i haven't been in your situation..but for me, parents like your mother also deserves to enjoy their life..if that's how they want to spend it..as long as she's not taking care of a younger sibling of yours..if she's hurt, that's the time you will show how mighty you are as her son..and if someone is giving her a pain in her **s, maybe that's a perfect time for you to act as her guardian.. :)
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
13 Nov 11
Good for her!
Hi dear, you are a really good son. No but I had a friend that liked younger guys.
Talk to your mother how unconfortable you feel and tell her you don't want to know many details until you both get into an understanding, to like until where she can go to tell you these stuff.
But dear, women have the need to tell what's going on, try to listen the more you can cause after all you were her main concern and it's kind of owning her a favor, she might not have someone as close as you to tell these stuff. We want to tell you know, it's funny and if I were a man I wouldn't get that but 80% of women have the need to tell stuff, and we need it so much that we even drag another gal to the toilet if we can, like talking all day it's not enough. Not saying that your mom doesn't have friends but that she trusts YOU above all.
And it's so normal for you to be worried. But you know if you want to protect her you cannot go away, you'll have to meet the guy after 1 or 2 months so YOU see for your self if he can be trusted. Nothing better than a guy to judge another guy.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
13 Nov 11
What an exciting time of life for your mom. Encourage her to enjoy it to the max. It must be really exciting for her when men show an interest in her. That was probably a very rare event while she was heavier. Besides her relationship with you, she needs to develop her own life. How wonderful if she could find a man to grow old together with.
@soulist (2985)
• United States
13 Nov 11
I think you are just being a protective son. You watched your mom put focus on you and possibly other people and now its her turn and you want a man who will treat her properly. It's only natural. Sure you may feel uncomfortable because it's a new step not only for her but you as well, because you may have to see guys break her heart as is tend to happen in any relationship. Just keep being the good son you seem to be.
@jokerzhunter (129)
• United States
13 Nov 11
Its nice that you want to protect her but shes your mother, let her enjoy herself. Yes I have been in similar situations and I hate it, but as long as shes happy then really, thats all that matters, if she ever gets her hearth broken then just help her overcome it, but don't try controlling what she does, let her deal with her own situations that may arise due to her behavior.
@gagagaohlala (294)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
This post has actually caught my attention because first and foremost, my parents are separated for almost 23 years now and has been single most of the time. When my mum went to the city and live with one of my aunts to study a masteral's degree, she met this guy whom she called her boyfriend and I'm totally okay with that for as long as he makes her happy. But what happened was she became too emotionally attached to the guy that her panic anxiety attacks came out again when they have fights. My mum had been experiencing depression before when my parents separated and yes, my dad was living with his mistress, and (with how he claims to be) "5-HALF siblings." I just want my mum to be happy after all the years that she has suffered pain and hurting, the struggles that she has been through and if loving someone could ease all those and make her be in bliss again, then I will definitely support her. Your mum has put a lot of time, care, love and effort to help you become a better person, I guess your little support with her romantic affair could be what we call exchange sign of gratitude. If dating makes her feel alive, happy, hopeful and confident again, then it is a good thing that you should not take away from her. :)
Happy MyLotting to you and God bless to you and your mum! :D
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
13 Nov 11
I think it is lovely that you are concerned for your mother, concerned with the best intentions, as I think you have every right as the dating game has changed a little from the time when your mother probably first started dating, its a strange world today but I admire her courage as this is not an easy thing to do, I wish her luck.
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
13 Nov 11
I think it's great that she is getting back out there. You are great being so involved in her life.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
It is normal for children to be over protective with our moms. Of course who wants some jackass who would just take advantage of our dear mom right? For us it's just a concern and like a warning for her not to pick such guys. However, I think you should let her be happy as she really deserves it. I think it is also better for you to know who her boyfriend is so that you can as well protect her if anyone tries to fool her.
I do hope she'll find someone better so she'll be completely happy.
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
You should just let your mom do what she feel like to do. As you said, she deserves to be happy. If that's how she wants to spend her time then let it be. She had been alone for quite a while already and you are no longer living with her. I think she;s just trying to find someone to be around with or to share her time with. You really sound very protective. I don't think that after what your mom had went to through the years, she is not wise enough to choose the people she will be with.
