Child free for a practical reason

I do think that the reason that a lot of people decide not to have children is for a somewhat selfish reason. As for me, I was always in the opposite boat. I was so selfless that I wanted to have children from the time that I was a very young girl. In fact, my heart was broken when I was nineteen years old and I lost my first child. However, three years later I was lucky enough to get to have a child of my own who is going to be nine years old next month and then almost four years later I had my son, who is five years old now. My mother was told as a young woman that she would never been able to have children because her uterus was retroverted, but she did end up having three children without the help of fertility specialists. I'm 31 now, my brother is 29 and my sister is 25. We also would have had a 12 year old brother but she had a miscarriage then.

I think that if people are too used to their way of life, or as you say, selfish, then they are probably not ready to make the commitment to having kids anyway, and are doing those unborn children a favor by not bringing them into a household where they will not be appreciated, and thus, not properly cared for. If you live your life in a caring way and continue to meet new people and make your friends your family, etc, then you will not be all alone when you are old because you will have many friends of all ages who care about you. And if you think about it, it is also selfish to have children because of the overwhelming fear of being alone without grandchildren when you are old. Sorry if that is insulting; but a lot of people have that fear and I can understand and empathize with it. However, you are also putting an unfair stress on your children if you are expecting grandchildren to result. Just because you have them doesn't mean that they will have kids of their own. And also, if there are that many risks involved, could it not also affect the health of the baby? It is a horrible feeling to not be able to have children. Nature has deeply instilled into women the urge to have children and some of us feel purposeless, empty, lonely, etc if we can't or if there is difficulty. Many religions have further instilled the urge to have children into us as a duty. And society has painted the picture that having children is the natural course of things, so of course we will have them. But there are so many people in this world right now that there is not so much a danger of us dying out as a species because of children not being born. The real danger is so many coming into the world that cannot be fed and taken care of. If you take all of that love and yearning and turn it towards mankind as a whole, possibly adopt children or be a foster parent, reach out and be part of the community and create your own extended family, you may find that this is more satisfying on a higher level than frantically rushing to have a child and closing your world into that one small kingdom. Take heart; I hope I haven't made you feel too badly. I have lots of yearnings to have children, but I am not in a healthy place, economically or medically, to have children right now. I am enjoying my life, though, and I know that all I can do is wait and see if the right time presents itself. If it doesn't, then I will have many friends.

"I almost think some people are just too used to and/or selfish to give up the easier way of life they have now to become a parent which is a demanding full time job really." What makes not wanting kids a selfish thing? Especially if the person knows they wouldn't make a good parent and knows bringing a kid into this world would just be hell for them (themselves AND the kid). People who have kids just because they want them and don't have the means to take care of and raise the child aren't selfish? People who don't want kids are NOT selfish. They're SMART! "...what about when [you're] old and all alone because you have no grandchildren horrible thought to me anyway." Having kids is NOT a guarantee that you will have someone to take care of you when you're old. I've never understood why people use this argument. What if your kids/grandkids just don't want to take care of you when you're old? What if they move far away and just can't do it? What if they pass away before you? What if your kids never have kids?