Why do the Mistresses think it will be different for them?
By GavinKaos
@GavinKaos (272)
United States
November 14, 2011 8:24pm CST
Or the opposite for that matter. I don't understand how someone could be the "other" man or woman during an affair think that if the cheater leaves their partner for the them, that it won't come around and happen to them?
I am a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater. I hope to be proven wrong some day, but so far I haven't been. If they would cheat on their partner with the "mistress", what makes the "Mistress" think is so special about them that it won't happen. For example Dita Von Teese was the mistress in the relationship with Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. Recently it has come to light that Jesse cheated on Dita recently as well. She admitted afterwards that she shouldn't have thought it would happen to her and she expects a lot of "I told you so" type statements.
I understand wishful thinking, but sometimes the brain should over ride and use logic.
What do you think?
3 people like this
10 responses
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
that's true..though i haven't been a mistress..i think those mistresses have their own reasons why they are into that kind of relationship..most mistresses have their own unresolved issue with themselves that's why they enter into such a relationship to fill in those issues inside them..
but everything can't be blamed to them..because in the 1st place, mistress wont be mistress if their partner won't agree to engage into such relationship..sometimes those who has "other" man or woman in their lives feel discontented that's why they end up having one..and so the cycle continues that's why a cheater is always a cheater..and sometimes cheaters learn their mistakes if they'll taste their own medicine..
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
my dad's mistress said she does not mind being the mistress as long as she can stop working and just let the supposed man give her/support her with money. It does not matter to her if the man is married, has a family or not.
I would say it is not the woman's fault if she does not know she is a mistress... but if she does and still pursues the relationship, or being the third party. I would really put the blame on the woman more because she allowed herself to victimize and be the victim herself. All the more she won't be able to demand to the man because she agreed with the set up in the first place.
I would say, it is quite rare that the third party will be chosen by the guy. if he does choose her, then id say she will end up being treated as how she treated the wife or the true girlfriend.
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I don't blame the mistresses as much as I do the cheater, though if they know they are the "other" man or woman, its very shameful and I have little respect for them or pity if it happens to them. The mistress doesn't have an emotional tie to the original relationship. It is the cheater that deserves most of the scorn. They are the ones that decided to cheat instead of breaking off the relationship. Staying with their partner because they have children isn't an excuse either.
Chiyosan, I am sorry to hear your dad has a mistress, especially since she is that way.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
I think you are right. Cheaters will always be cheaters.
This applies to both gender. I'll just use 'he' if you don't mind, to generalize.
It starts out when a person is a child. In exams, he would cheat. When he has a lover, he would look for another lover, making him a cheater. Cheaters are liars. When a person often lies even about a little thing, one can expect that he would lie about big matters also.
Mistresses who think like that are only fooling themselves, i believe. What good would come out from snatching a man away from another woman? Could it be their sense of pride acting up? Could it be that they feel elated to chosen over another woman? It probably does well for their self esteem, only it won't last, because the man will, more often than not, find another woman.
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
yeah, I meant for this topic to include men and woman cheaters, but I could not think of the term for a male "mistress". I agree, cheaters are liars, even if they don't lie directly to their partner, its lies by act of omission.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
I would say that if a person is a natural lier and a born cheater he would always do that no matter what and no matter who he or she is with.
I would also think that people can change and if we give them a chance and support them and lead them to the right things they should be doing, i would think that there is hope.
For those who are so proud of being cheaters are different case, because these are the kinds who won't change and they could even be the ones who thinks that it is pretty nice to be able to do so and enjoy life - selfishness for one is a good reason and insecurity because they need to be able to do this to prove to themselves that they are sought after people.
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
Some people may be able to change, but unfortunately I don't think so when it comes to cheating. Again, I hope to be proven wrong one day. I agree that insecurity can play a huge role. I am insecure but I've never cheated, but I can see how that would be a cause. I always feel ugly and too stupid to realize if someone is flirting with me. Sometimes its nice to feel attractive. My wife tells me all the time, but its not the same. We have been married for 12 years, and neither has cheated thankfully.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
15 Nov 11
you mean Kat Von D. everyone seems to think they are special and that they will be what changes the person or fulfills the person
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
Your right, I got the name wrong. That is what I get if I do it from memory.
@tamirs (1807)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
Once a cheater always a cheater..
I believe in that.
Some says when you find your happiness in your other women/man you will stay with him /her forever.I don't believe it.If one looks for other , and been happy with their relationship,he or she will keep looking for others that will make him/her more happy.. again and again and again.
@ayvanee (149)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
I firmly believe in that too... "once a cheater always a cheater". I guess they're just too stupid to realize that and too blinded by what they think is LOVE. How insensitive of them to believe what the man is saying and how rude of them not to realize how the real wife or girlfriend would feel. Sure it would be fine if they wouldn't flaunt their relationship in public but some mistresses have small brains, too bad they're even proud to be mistresses!
I can't find any other words to say but again and again, I would always think mistresses are stupid. If HE cheated for you, what would make you think he would not cheat on you too?
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
Being proud of being the cheater or the mistress makes you even that much worse of a person.
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
15 Nov 11
I think people who do bad things outright should learn their lessons that "what goes around comes around" This does not apply to cheating only. If they do not learn their lessons then we could only pity them. Why so stupid ah? A famous phrase should never go unheeded.
1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I agree, people who do bad things need to learn their lesson. Unfortunately some don't get caught, and some don't get what they deserve even if they are caught.
@glowin100 (124)
•
15 Nov 11
Most of the time, when cheaters are doing this, it makes them feel that they are really nice and has won the affection of that person as opposed to their own mates. They don't realize, "what goes around comes around". If they settle down with that person, they will get the same thing and can then realize what they did to someone else.
glowin100
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
In general, the cheater always cheats. They never get tired unless they're old enough and left with no strength to commit such
Although there are some who actually stays with the second one when they think or feel they are really meant for each other and marrying or loving the first is a mistake. But for most of them, I still think the second will be cheated one day,, so they should not rejoice yet. I am still waiting for that moment that my cousin's husband cheats his mistress, or his mistress cheats on him. If that happens I'd have a big laugh
Although there are some who actually stays with the second one when they think or feel they are really meant for each other and marrying or loving the first is a mistake. But for most of them, I still think the second will be cheated one day,, so they should not rejoice yet. I am still waiting for that moment that my cousin's husband cheats his mistress, or his mistress cheats on him. If that happens I'd have a big laugh1 person likes this
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I really hope to be proven wrong one day. But so far, I have not.
The problem with them feeling like they were meant for each other is that they let each other get emotionally attached which can be considered an emotional affair, but you can't help who you fall for. Its what happens after that. Don't cheat because you like the other person, but be respectful to who you are with and soon to be were with and end it first. Then your not a cheater, but someone who has moved on. I think it would hurt me more to be cheated on then told that the person didn't want to be with me. There may be people who think differently than me and would prefer to be cheated on, I won't put them down, but I don't understand it.
@maycolmenar0818 (4)
•
15 Nov 11
For one cheating for me is a big NO - NO. It is very irresponsible and immature act of any person. I personally witness. I know someone whose a big cheater... my father. It was very hard coping in a situation where only a my mom raised us. There was this moment when we learned where my father and his mistress live. And we went there. the feeling was surreal that i thought I was in a movie where I need to act in a certain plot. The mistress was a proud woman. But I couldn't hate her that much because in my point of view they are living in a desperate form of life... struggling... more than what we experienced way back. I solidly think that mistresses think that they can overpower the love between married couples by attacking LUST into the weak system of MEN.
@GavinKaos (272)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I'm sorry to hear about that part of your life. It must have been hard.
That leads me to a question though. Do you think its better to stay in the relationship where their is a "3rd party" because of children, or do you think that the original couple should call it quits and go their separate ways?
