Is a child really important in a couple's relationship?

Actually, whether having a child is a requirement for a relationship is beside the point. What I find disturbing here is the fact that they didn't talk about this particular issue before they were married. Now, it's not necessarily a done deal, so to speak, because this can still be worked out. I suggest that they go through marital therapy or at least consult with someone to give a more objective view of their problems. I don't think this is something that they can just talk about by themselves.

I think the child does matter to the marriage. Some couples want to get divorced but they choose to live together for the sake of children. Later they may get over their marriage problems and this is the good side. Now it will lead to a big problem since one needs a child but the other doesn't want to have one. I wonder whether they had discussed it before marriage. Now they shall have a peaceful talk and see whether each other can give in. I love China

Oh and they are married already, but they have not talked about this and about making a family before they got married? I am wondering if they did talk to each other prior to the marriage. For me, If the husband does not want any children, then it is his decision, the wife wanted to have children but of course if the other does not want it, and then how would it be for them both if the wife would not be careful and actually got herself pregnant... Maybe there is an issue that the husband is not yet ready to talk with the husband, hence he is not fully ready to be a father. some responsibility issue, etc. I would say that of course what is important in a relationship is the partnership. Children comes next. you married because you love the person and not because you think this person will give you good children. it is never about children. a marriage blessed with children is god's gift but never the reason why one marries.

Whether to have children or not should be a mutual decision between husband and wife. Some couples have children, some don't, and some adopt. The important thing is that the both of them agreed on it. If they cannot agree, then that can be a reason for some marriages to end. While I don't want to sound negative, it is the reality. Maybe, your friend can stay with him and hope he'll change his mind. Maybe, your friend will change her mind and not want to have children. They have to sit down and talk of their reasons why. One of them has got to concede to the other, if they want to stay together. But as long as they are not on the same page, there can be problems. Is having a child really important in a marriage? I can't say all the time. Some childless couples are happy, some are not. Again, I reiterate the fact that the most important thing is mutual agreement.

it depends on the couple. in an ideal world, a couple would feel complete without having to have children to FEEL complete. in fact, I wouldn't settle for less than that. you get people that get together, and they don't feel complete without children. but unless you feel stable and happy and complete when it's just the two of you, is it really a good idea to bring someone else into the relationship? after all, when you get together, you can't guaruntee both of you will want children, or even that as a couple you'll be able to have them. so it's important that the relationship is already complete as it is. and if you want children, they should ADD to that complete relationship, rather than make an incomplete relationship complete. personally I don't want any children. if it's just me and my husband for the rest of our lives, I will be perfectly happy and content, because we have each other.

Hello sblossom, In my opinion to have kids in marriage is not at all necessary as there are many couples who don't want to have an addtional responsibilty. But your friend's case is different because one of the partner in the couple is ready to have kids and another is not. May be she needs to talk to her husband and know the reason why her husband is not agreeing to have kids.But to deny it straightway and not respecting partner's feelings is not a good relationship.There is something in her husband's mind therefore he is not ready to have kids which needs to be understood then she should reach to a conclusion.

I think having a kid is very important in one's marriage. Because it is fruit of love. Kids can really add happiness to one's marriage. Of course, there are a small part of people who choose not to have kids for some reasons. Well, i think as another mylotter has put it, they should make it clear before their marriage. I think your friend should first make clear why her husband not want a kid. Sometimes it is not about love, but other reason. I have a colleague, who has a seriously ill daughter, others often advise him to have another kid, but he just doesn't want to. I think maybe he knows some fact and is afraid of having another sick kid. Well, i am not saying that the husband of your friend has some problem, i just say that there are many other reasons for not having a kid.

This is something that they should have spoken about before getting married and if they did and she ignored it hoping she'd change his mind, then she is very foolish. i worry that I am in the same situation with my partner, but we are not married, and although he doesnt want kids now, he says he might do in the future. This is becoming a bit too much for me, and I think that this is something i feel so strongly that i want that I am prepared to leave him after I turn 30 if he hasnt changed his mind. I would rather adopt a baby or child on my own as a single parent than force a child upon someone who doesnt want one. I think its unfair of your friend to say she thinks her husband doesnt love her. If anything, by being honest and telling her that he will NEVER want kids, he's proving that he does love her rather than just telling her what she wants to hear and being unhappy in the relationship. If your friend feels so strongly about having the child, and her husband does not, then although the decision will be hard for her, she should leave her husband now rather than much later down the line when she is too old to find anyone else and have a baby. All you can do is to tell her as it is. You shouldnt give her false hope. My best friend will always tell me things as they are instead of sugar coating things. Let her know you're there if she needs you but she should decide if her desire for a baby is worth losing her husband for. That is the ultimate question.

I have no answer for your question but I would want to raise another question for you. It obviously seems that the couple have a disagreement on whether to have child or not. So my question is when did this disagreement happen? Did it just happen now or it had happened before the marriage? The thing is to have child or not is something big that the 2 should have agreed before they are getting married. And once an agreement is made on that matter, it should not cause any problems in the future.

Friend for old people child is necessary and if even their son in law not born the child then most of the time they suggest their son to get divorce. But now some changes now husband is support his wife if due to some problem child cant born means not marriage relationship will break. But if 5 years completed then that is not good your friend's husband not wants child because child is God gift and may be later not easy to born. I also face the same problem completed 7 years of marriage life both wants child but God not wants to give us. My husband is understanding man so they told me wait God will watching us and give us.

It is up to the couple to mutually agree with this aspect. When we say mutually agree, I mean here that they have to come into terms without compromising the feelings of another. After all what is a marriage vow is all about when only one person dominates the decision?

Life is torture. Your husband is lucky to have found you to ease his suffering, but he doesn't hate faith to bring new life because 1) he can't see how his child would be so lucky and 2) he doesn't have space in his life.

No a child is not important. But if you don't feel well in a relationship, have an idea in your mind how a relationship should be you can make that important. I think there is no room for a child if you don't already have a great relationship. Kds shouldn't be there to make a relationship better, safe it or make you feel better. If you think that way the child will have no life and only be there to make you feel better and it also has only to please you and be the person you like it to be. If your friend her deepest wish is to have children there is only one thing to do. To end the relationship and find someone who does want children just like her. Children has nothing to do with love, having a great relationship. It can be something extra to show your love for eachtother. But like we all know is there are only less really love babies in this world.

We it seems they didn't talk about this before marriage. One wants something that the other doesn't want to compromise on that isn't good for the relationship at all. I could never be with someone that didn't want kids. Me and my husband don't agree on the amount be we have compromise to the number that will make is both happy in the end. She has to make it clear this is what she wants and if she can't live with out then it doesn't make senses being with someone that doesn't want the same thing out of the relationship. If he loves her then he would have compromised with her about when they could for one but it seems when you say je doesn't want any that he doesn't want any at all for sure.

For me, a family isn't a family unless there are children in it. If her hubby does not want to have kids in the first place, this should have been settled before they got married..it is a big issue and for some grounds for divorce. I have read this book "BAby Proof" by Emily Griffin where the woman does not want a baby and it became a barrier for her relationship with her hubby.. It is nice but in the end they sorted it out and though her mind did not yet change on having a baby still they did not make it a reason for them to separate. As for your friend, she needs to sit down and talk to her hubby about it..its only them who can solve it. As for me, my kids are our motivation, without them i do not know what more we would do, we work for them, we get up for them.. its them we are living this life actually.

In this kind of situation, one has to sacrifice his or her happiness for their marriage because you cannot meet halfway on this. It would be either your friend would give up her dream to have kids or her husband give up what he wants and give his wife a child. Who would have to sacrifice? I don't know. This will be a hard decision to make for the both of them. If no one can sacrifice what they want, then this marriage will be over soon. I wish your friend's husband will decide to give her a child. This will be a proof of their love for one another. I'm sure that he would learn to love that child when it comes.

for me yes child is very important for the couple because the child is the fruit of their love,and you married a person because you want your own family,how do you call it family when couple is without a child.

Child is really important in a couple's relationship. That is the fruit of your love. Why is his husband don't like children? They are gift from God. They are angels. You are not a family if you have no children.

hello there. in my own opinion, a child is a plus factor for a long lasting marriage. but if her husband doesn't want to have one, then i think they should respect each others decision. it doesn't mean that he doesn't love her. maybe, he likes to give his attention only to her wife. for more relevant advises, i think they should go for a marriage counselor. :-)

I think that your friend doesn't ask too much to her husband..a child is really important for a couple but expecially for a woman to have a child is the most beautiful experience she can make and this event would change her life for sure. The bad side of this situation is that her husband dosn't want any child. I don't think she can change her husband. It doesn't depend on her. Even if it's sad to say if she wants to save her marriage she would have to put away this idea for a while..her husband could change idea (I hope so for her). I wish to your friend all the best.