No They Can't See You!

been divorced. twice. and no i didnt try to keep my kids fathers away from them.. the problem was in trying to get them to spend any time with them at all. seems when the ring comes off... men forget they ever had a family at all. the only ones yer friend is harming with her selfishness are the children she claims to love, and the only thing she will accomplish is causing those children to resent, disrespect, and ultimately hate her for her actions. kids arent kids for very long, and when theyre grown and can choose for themselves (and depending upon the state laws, that could be as young as age 11 ) theyll turn their backs on her and go towards their father.

I think that is Beyond cruel. It's cruel to the other parent and it is cruel to the children. It's using the kids like a weapon. When I divorced my daughter's father he never looked back. He went on to remarry and have 3 other kids. He never sent a card or anything for Christmas or birthdays. Now 40 years later my daughter is trying to forge a relationship. She does all the calling. She traveled to see him. His wife was unwelcoming to her. She still calls her dad a couple of times a month. I would have never restricted him from seeing her. He didn't want to pay child support so he hid.

When I got a divorce it was a priority that they still had a relationship with him. I wanted to move in the worst way but stayed so they could see each other. Well the first year went fine..after that he didn't show up most of the time. Still in all I did try. I figured I was the one who wanted the divorce....though he was abusive to them.....I thought they needed to see him. They are all grown up now....one of my daughters just started talking to him after seven years. He hasn't changed.....still drinking...still being a jerk. But he is there dad.

This is tough, because are you sure there is any kind of abuse, even emotional? Just because a man says he is a Christian, it doesn't mean he is a good guy and when emotional abuse is practiced, not many recognize it for the problem it is. See, if I ever left my husband I would be concerned about the emotional turmoil my son would be left with. Everything from putting me down to my son being ridiculed, (aka "just kidding") for his personality and beliefs. If it only because the woman is bitter, then I am sure the court wouldn't allow this to happen anyway..

Children are used as a weapon in divorces far too frequently. The "adults" are childish and petty, instead of thinking of how the kids are affected and being, well, adult about things. One of my brothers is divorced and has never put his kids in that situation. He's never been mean about their mother in their presence, either - it's up to them to decide how THEY feel about him and her. This woman's pettiness will come back and bite her on the butt, that's for sure.

I think it's better to still let the dad see his kids especially if there were no abuse. The dad has every right to see his kid and the kid has the right to spend some time with his own father too. I cannot understand why the kid's mom will decide such thing, it will not be better for the kid to grow up in a broken family, and not seeing his dad will make it much worst!

The only way I'd keep my children away from their father is physical or verbal abuse or if he was teaching them to worship Satan (haven't exactly run into that). Since none of those criteria are being met, this woman has no cause for her hateful attitude. I have to think the Lord will be with this man and help him get joint custody or at least something that lets him see his children regularly. Judges listen to what the children want. If the children's relationship is good, I would hope the judge would see that and act on it.

I must confess , one of the stories of revenge I love is Medea.So if I were a loving wife and mother and my husband wronged me, I would use everything I could to hurt him. This is why I don;'t have kids nor will I Ever marry!

I don't think that any parent should have the right to keep the other parent from seeing their children, if there is no reason to think that the other would harm them. When my children's father and I divorced, I would have preferred that he not see them, but I did what the court allowed. It was still a problem since he lives 100 miles away and could NOT drive them anywhere. He would have to get someone else to visit them with him, and that person could drive them all. Eventually, he just stopped seeing them and it has been years since they have heard from him. He has 8 grandchildren who he has never even met! One daughter just found out, recently, that he IS still alive. I do think it is better for the children if they have contact with both parents, regardless of what THEIR situation is. If nothing else, someone else could see that the kids get to see both parents, so they don't have to see each other. Sometimes this is grandparents or siblings of the parents, who get along with both parents.

If there was no abuse or any form or violence then i won't deprive my children of their father. It is selfish.

I think a better question is... why on Earth would anyone take the risk of getting married, when this is the outcome? Can you really tell me that staying single would in any way be somehow worse, than having your wife, the one you loved so much you pledged your life to her, ruin your marriage, destroy the family, and then hate you so much as to take your kids away, and even go to court to prevent you from ever seeing them.......? This.... is worth the risk? For what? "true love"? Let me ask that guy if "true love" was worth all that. What do you think he'd say? I guess I'm the lucky one. Because it sure doesn't seem like G-d is blessing very many people, no matter how many times people say "G-d bless".

They should really find a counsellor to resolve the issue. Afterall, they believe in the Lord, don't they think it might be wrong for a divorce in the first place? I am assuming you are talking about the Christian God...and the Lord Jesus. As far as I know, God hate divorces. He instituted marriage, why would anyone who believes in Him not find alternative ways to resolves matters. I don't understand. Is the wife the abusive party? If so, and if they really got divorced, is it safe for the kids to be with her since the father is the God fearing one? Divorce is bad...not just for the couple, but extremely damaging for the kids. Hope they will find some positive approach instead.

thats horrible. it took two people to make those children, so two people should raise them, divorced or not. the mother needs to take a good look at herself. i wonder if she grew up with a daddy!

If there was no abuse that happened, then why not let the children see their dad? I don't think there's something wrong with that. The kids also need to see their dad from time to time because for sure, they would miss him. The kids will get really affected by the divorce and worse, they would feel even more bad if they won't be able to see their dad anymore.

No I think all children have the right to see both parents, stopping them is just vindictive and that is not fair on the children, she may find in years to come her children may resent for for doing this.

I would always do what was best for my child. When my daughter was four, I nannied for a man who was using his kids as a weapon against his ex. He had custody but should never have been granted it. He and his ex were supposed to trade off weekends but he was never home. I was supposed to have weekends off but even when he was there he expected me to watch the kids and chewed me out when the one boy was playing in front of the house on my day off! One night he came home after dropping the kids at the ex's for the weekend and called her up to tell her he was going to move out of state, taking the kids with him. When he got off the phone I asked him what was happening. He smirked at me and said "nothing". He had just told her that to hurt her. I only worked for this man for six weeks. The kids were acting out and out of control and he undermined my efforts at discipline. He had forbidden me talking to his ex at all but the last straw was when he went out of town for spring break and I had to have his little hellions 24/7 plus two weekends! It was his weekend for the kids and he was still gone so I called the ex and told her she could have the kids, I was quitting. He finally got back the following Wednesday and I was on the road within an hour after he got back. This sort of thing is so wrong! I ended up telling his ex that I would testify for her if she ever needed me to. When parents of children separate, they need to consider how their behavior affects the kids. Bashing the absent parent to the kids is a no-no and turning the divorce into an all-out war is criminal. Parents should do all they can to keep the peace and, as the one comment here said, act like adults instead of spoiled children, themselves. That said, there are other considerations other than abuse that I would take into consideration. My daughter has never met her father. Of course, we were never married and he deserted me when I was pregnant. He was a pathological liar and even though abuse was not an issue, I did not want him teaching my daughter that it was okay to lie, cheat and break promises. Genetics do not entitle you to anything. Living up to the responsibilities associated with parentage is what entitles you to visitation. If the father is a good father, there is no reason to deny visitation. I would never do that to anyone, no matter how much he had hurt ME. Of course, every situation is different and we cannot judge unless we are in their shoes.

Hi! Believe it or not, been there, lived it. I was married to someone who had some health problems and it is my guess that the only way he could control the situation was to say everything was either secular humanism or Godly. The worst was when he would get on his soapbox and follow me around ranting about one thing or another, even when I was pregnant with his child. This didn't happen all the time but I lived in fear of the next episode. To make a long story short, I left and prevented him from seeing his child not wanting to put her in danger. She does know the truth about her father and he wasn't always that way. As I said, I really think it was the fact that he couldn't control the events around him. There were times when he was fun to be with and he never physically hurt me...just turned out to be a severe disappointment. Happily I am in a much better marriage and she has turned out ok. Hope everyone will be all right with this one.