How do you deal with people who are always pessimistic?

Yes, since we really don't know what really is going on in somebody else's head, as you say, it's good to be compassionate towards others. But because others are miserable and unhappy with their lot in life, why should we go down with them. We can appreciate and be happy in our many blessings by focusing on the positive things that we experience rather than the negative. Like when we eat an avocado. We enjoy the pulp and not try to chew on the big seed. We can appreciate though that even the big seed is important. So in the end it's all good.

Hi 1hopefulman, that is a very good example. I think we really have to think deeply about many things in life. Long ago, I read an article that said, nature has no wastage, because even waste material, such as rotten fruits become fertilizers. Recently, I read another article that says wastage is a part of nature. It says that fruit trees produce more than enough fruits for us and animals to eat, and most of the times, the fruits drop and rot because we cannot finish it. I think both are true, and talking about the same thing from different perspective. it is good to appreciate all the good and not so good things in life.

Hi 1hopefulman, yes, best to stick around positive persons. Even God is a happy God. He never imparts negative thoughts to us. I think those people who are really spiritually minded are happy at heart. They do not worry so much, since they know that God has his plan for the faithful. Best to be compassionate and yet happy.

Hi Rosegardens, that is exactly my experience. It seems that they are too free, with nothing better to do, so they have all the time to tell everyone how pitiful she is. Funny that they are born into our countries where people are still enjoying abundance in food, and material things. They should born in poorer countries, then they can experience how hard life really is.

Hi Rosegardens, we have been telling her that. I think she really is blind to all the blessings in life. Her father and siblings have been very blunt with her too, and yet she refuses to change. She is aware that she is too negative about life, but she blames it on her genes. She just says that she is born like that, cannot change! Can you imagine how annoying to talk to such a stubborn person? Even when we talk online, it makes my blood boils. If I were to talk to her face to face, I might end up killing her.

Do not kill her. It is best to pray for her for several reasons. One, you will not go to prison, two, it seems only God can get through to this person. As far as I know, there is no gene specifically designed to make one pessimistic. You might want to ask her to tell you the name of the gene. I do know what it is like to talk to someone so stubborn. I have a friend that must outdo me whenever I speak about something negative going on in my life. She tries to top me by bringing up things that happened to her years ago. O, it drives me nutso! It seems as though she is competing with me about having a worse life or experience than I. Always complaining, always a downer. Can't talk to the woman more than a few minutes before she gets into her past.

This person actually changes for awhile, but it soon comes back. I don't think she's committed to changing. They really are energy suckers.

Hi Peavey, my friend is exactly like that. It is not as if she is not aware of it. She is fully aware of her attitude in life, but she has no intention of changing it. she can blame it on her genes or fate or destiny or whatever, but she can never blame it on herself. I think she really needs a good lesson in life to appreciate whatever she has. She really is an energy sucker.

haha Peavey, time to send her to the mental institute if she decides to change for the worse! Better than getting everyone infected with her negative viewpoints of life.

Hi Airasheila, I do not think giving her attention is the right thing to do. The more we listen to her, the more she complains about life. When so many people are jobless today, you would think that a person holding a job that pays very high, and live in a private apartment, would count herself fortunate. Yet she has nothing but complaint. She gets jealous when others get higher pay, and she never appreciates her good fortune.

Hi AJsMom, I try to do that. Guess what is the response of my friend? She said, "But I am born like that!" as if she cannot do anything to change her thinking. She is so much luckier than many people in the world. She has a job that pays higher than national wages, even for the same kind of work. She has a full time foreign maid at home to do all the housework, and cook for the family. Her father is still around, while her mother had passed away in her sleep a few years ago. They can go for a few trips within a year. She has no health issue too. Yet she just wants to find things to complain.

It's really sad to hear people think and act like that. Even if she gets all what she wants then it would never be good enough for her. Time will come when she's going to realize how fortunate she is. I guess sometimes people have to lose a thing to be able to know it's worth. It's the hard way to realize the facts of life but it's bound to happen.

Hi AJsMom, yes, she will definitely face problems in the future. At a time when we are healthy, and we have a job that brings in money, we should not have complaints at all. Sooner or later, we are going to get old and sick. That is the time when we need the willpower to survive. I really hate to listen to anyone complaining about anything. if we can change the situation, then we do not need to complain. If we cannot change, then there is no need to complain at all. it is a waste of energy to think so negatively, and full of negative nonsense. These pessimistic people really know how to waste time for nothing.

Hi Andy, I prefer to be around people who are optimistic and happy too. It is good to find people appreciate their lives and everything that happens to them. Even when bad things happen, it is a way of teaching us important lessons. if we always complain and complain, then we are making ourselves and others miserable. I prefer to make friends with people who have your attitude.

Hi Kalav, she happens to be one of those people who have justifications for everything. I have been very frank with her, and her response is that: I am born just like that, cannot change! It really makes my blood boil. Feel like killing her. Anyway, I believe in karma. If she is always treating people and things like that, she will face many problems later on. Just let it be. I will be around to see whatever happens to her years later.

Hi Dragon54u, there is a saying that God helps those who help themselves. In the case of my friend, she does not want to change, so even God cannot help her to change her thinking. She always blame her genes for her attitude, saying that she is born like that, and cannot change. When she makes a bad decision, she blames on her luck. Once she bought a stock in the stock market, and the price fell later. She blamed it on her luck, but I told her to blame herself. She is a college graduate from business studies, and she has many years of working experience in the corporate world. Plus I have told her numerous times to check the corporate announcement and read the annual report before buying or selling in the stock market. She never did any of that. If she had checked the corporate announcement, she would have known that the company had made a loss, and would not be profitable for this year and next year. She bought the stock after the wise investors decided to cut loss, and sold everything. How stupid can that be! Just a minute extra work can save her from bad investment. She still blames on her luck, and not herself.

Hi Julianmac, I always believe that we will attract bad things if we do not learn to appreciate and thankful for whatever we have. Even if we have cancer and other terminal illnesses, I believe that something good will still come out of it. At the very least, it makes us a better person. I hate to get infected by all those people who think negatively. Wonder why they still live if they do not want to enjoy life!

Hi Megamatt, I cannot stand these people too. They do not impart knowledge. They do not seek solutions. All they do is to complain whole day. I think they just want to make others depressed, and then they will feel that they have highlighted all the problems in the world. it really is a waste of time talking to them, since they do not listen. I hope that I can meet more people who can help me get happier, and not depressive. Life is still great! The fact that we can wake up every morning, and there is food for breakfast, is a great blessing.

Hi Airkulet, yes, I avoid her as much as possible. However, we are still friends in many ways. I hope that she can change her attitude, and learn to appreciate all the good things in life. Even when something bad happens, we can take it as a test or a chance to show the kind of person we are. The fact is that we are better off than many people in different ways, and worse off in some ways. Nobody is perfectly happy all the time.

Hi Boyuancy, yes, this is what I tend to do too. I will quarrel with my friend since she can talk for hours after hours about her negative viewpoints. It is really a waste of time. I do not gain any useful knowledge, and we both end up very depressed. I think life is too short to get negative over small things. It is not as if we are going to die tonight, or that we are suffering from unbearable pain. I seldom go out with such friends, since I want to be happy.

Hi Bewitch, their attitudes really can make a person depressed. I like to see people happy with what they have, and appreciation for the good things in life. When something bad happens, those positive persons will look for solution, while negative people just blame on their luck. It seems funny that those negative people never blame themselves for whatever happen. it is always the fault of fate or genes or others. Impossible to help people like this.

Hi Mathildachelsea, actually I have been trying to help her see the brighter side of life. Guess what she says! She complains that I am too optimistic and that she is born like that, and cannot change at all. It is very annoying and frustrating to talk to her. She needs a real good lesson in life, otherwise she will never appreciate all the things that she has now. Since she holds this attitude, I am sure God will give her a good lesson.

Hi Lilaclady, that is what I like to do. Just too bad that she is one of my good friends. I really do not need all the pessimistic ideas when I am in a worse shape than her in many ways. Even though she is still in good health, and I had gone for a surgery this year, she still managed to find tons of things to complain about. Her salary is well into the range of upper middle class, and yet she can complain about working so hard and earning so little. I really do not need this kind of people to such my energy.