My love story is a sad but true one

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I have been in love a few times, with the wrong kind of person for me. I didn't take the time to see if they where even right or not at all I just wanted to be with someone so badly to say that somebody truly did love me forever and so I wouldn't be scared to be single and alone again. Well, today I have to tell people all the time why I just love being single and not with a man so very much the tables have turned around. The guys I went with were always broke and drunk and mean all the time to me. None had jobs or goals at all, or even any real hobby's or interests we shared in common at all. They just thought about different ways to earn money for there smoking and drinking habits even some drugs at times that I wouldn't do with them for my own spiritual and body respecting views. I am very lucky to say I have never been arrested even though I personally have always been law abiding others I have been around absolutely were not. My Mother and siblings loved and cared for me enough to want me back home again even though I had let them down so much. I am trying my hardest now to remain alcohol free I no longer smoke and take care of and respect myself more. Men shouldn't always come first, they should want for you to be happy and have nice hobbies and interests of your own as well too. Plus, they should want to work and earn money to care for you both if they are a real man of any kind. Then know that what ever bits of money I can earn is for my needs and I would pass to him at times too. Men usually earn more than woman so I see this as a very practical way to go about the whole money situations. If you begin to earn much more then of course you could help out more too. This seems an easy way to me to end many a fight on money. Think of it as a pay as you go plan, any man in my future would just have to except this as a fact in our lives and love me for who I am as a person and not what money I can offer as I am sure I would him too if he was a giving kind hearted soul. I just have had too much of the other kind, I need to find a person more like myself to be happy at all this I now know. One who cares to have a roof over there head and a bed to sleep in each night and healthy food to eat. Plus, wants to save money at times instead of just spending it all more responsible and stable but still at least a few times a year not shy or nervous about going on a nice relaxing vacation to Hawaii or someplace warm and nice. To blow away stess from everyday worries and work. This, is what I dream of more today having in a partner in life before I just never gave it any thought at all which as you can see from my checkered past was a very bad idea and dangerous too of me. So yes, I do know what being in love feels like, but staying there no I do not or even having the sense I would stay there at all. So my love has been very bitter sweet I just remain too hopeful still though. Thanks,A.B.