Single and happy? Single and bitter?
By Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
Philippines
November 19, 2011 6:22am CST
Have you ever dated? Have you ever been in a relationship with somebody?
If not, then this discussion would be a good place to share your thoughts about being single! If you are currently in a relationship with anyone, well, you're free to post if you want XD This is mylot, anyone can join in in any discussion.
Now, the question...
Are single and happy? Or are you single and bitter?
Being single is fun and everything! You get to do anything you want at anytime, you can't be held down a boyfriend or girlfriend to keep you under control. In fact, why would i ever want to abandon the free life of a single person if it is this good?
Well, we get lonely sometimes. We like to be with another person who we can share our days with. Or it could be that we tend to fall in love with someone and we become willing enough to abandon that kind of freedom single people enjoy in order to be with this special person.
Reminder: being in a relationship is not a prison, it shouldn't feel like one either, but some people feel that relationships are constrictive or something in that sense.
When I read a manwha(korean comics) entitled MELA HOLIC. The main character in the story is a teacher who is 29 years old. he had special powers, he can read a persons mind when he touches them with his hands. He became bitter when he was rejected by a blind date once in his life. If y
This character made me think: Singles who already adults and don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend get bitter and lonelier overtime. They sometimes reason out that they don't like the concept of love.
This character believed that: Anyone who falls in love is foolish. Humans meet strangers, someone they have never met in their past, but suddenly becomes committed to that person, get attached and fall in love. They expect their partner to change for them. They think of their partners as someone they own. They expect so much from another that if one does not meet the expectations of the other, great disappointments and anger arises, causing conflicts, most of them end in the form of 'divorce'
But then he fell in love with a girl. Without experience on any relationship, he was assisted by a colleague in order to confess to this girl. I'm still reading this comic now, and i only got to read up to the part that the girl became his girlfriend and he became really happy.
A person who is single may cover up his loneliness by pride and bitterness. Especially if they have never known love before.
(I got lost somewhere here, sorry)
Well, i have made this post long enough... And I'm about to go off the topic. So the question again.
Are you single and happy? Or maybe you thought you were because you maybe the same as the character i have told you about. Maybe you thought you were happy, because you have never felt romantic love ever before?
Are you bitter? Are you like this character, who thought that love was an abomination, well... that was before he fell in love. XD
Be honest ;)
13 responses
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
19 Nov 11
Well nice research Buddy.You worked really well.Well I have been in a relationship and now think its over as she has stopped talking to me even stopped replying my emails.I really Miss her.
So I am Single now.I feel very bitter though I agree with your above finings
Have a Nice day
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I'm guessing you were in a long distance relationship with this woman?
Don't stay bitter too long, though. Good luck!
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
19 Nov 11
Yes it was a long distance relationship, why not its bitter too long,At first she was so nice and then suddenly, when I told her about some mishaps in my family she left me alone.I felt so lonely at that time.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
That's sad. :( Maybe she's not the right woman for you. So you will have to find the right woman somewhere else.
@polaroidsredwine (509)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I actually don't think I'm capable of romantic love. For years now I've felt like there was something horribly wrong with me because I could never relate to my friends - I never had any crushes, and I always felt like I was obligated to try and constantly scout for someone to date because that's what everyone else was doing and it was normal.
Then I discovered the term "aromantic" and I realized that no, I wasn't programmed wrong or anything, just different from my peers. And I've come to accept it. That's not to say that I don't enjoy reading or watching things that have romance in them because I'm a complete sap for the stuff, I just can't envision myself in any of those situations.
I'm highly comfortable being single. Most people can't understand how I'm fine with it and I have my older sister near constantly hounding me and wondering when I'll get into my first relationship, and people do ask if I ever get lonely, but I don't. I'm a private person by nature anyway, and I never really get that longing for a significant other in my life.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
i see. Not everyone is the same. Your friends and your sister are worried about you, maybe they want you to find happiness in a relationship. Like they say, 'you don't know what you are missing', i think that is what they want to tell you.
For now, you are content, that's good and all. You shouldn't force yourself to do anything.
@polaroidsredwine (509)
• United States
21 Nov 11
Haha, yes, exactly. I keep telling them to wait and if, one day in the future, I should ever find someone I have romantic interest in, then they'll be the first ones to know. These things can and do change, and I've no doubt that it might happen to me sometime.
@Wonnetz (57)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I have never really dated someone. I wouldn't even say I was ever in a relationship with someone. I am single and bitter.I want a girl friend bad, I just want someone there who I can depend on and trust. I do get pretty lonely since I have no one with me. Being single is actually a horrible thing in my opinion. I don't see why tons of other people in the world think that being single is a good thing. Don't they want a person to love and talk to?
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
Others like being single because they are free to do as they want. They are usually those people who have been into bad relationships and they don't want to go through that again.
Other bitter singles may say they like it only as an excuse, if only to console their lonely selves. They hate being pitied so they say they are happy singles, but deep inside they do want to find someone to love.
@Triple0 (1904)
• Australia
20 Nov 11
Well, I have never been in a relationship or dated anyone but I am still in my senior year of high school, too early to date? Pretty much, some of my friends or people I know have partners but I reckon at a teenager;'s age, you pretty much just want to be in a relationship to feel secure and feel that you fit in with your friends. I go to an all girl's school and girls can get pretty desperate and a lot of them are always in a relationship. They would simply be in one, break up and suddenly be in another one like the next day! 
My friend has been a relationship with the same guy for 6 years, I reckon they'll get married one day. I don't get why some teens are so desperate to be in a relationship so soon, and they tend not to work out anyway once you reach college or work. I'm single and I'm quite happy actually. I'm not that jealous or anything and some of my friends are still single. No need to rush. 
My friend has been a relationship with the same guy for 6 years, I reckon they'll get married one day. I don't get why some teens are so desperate to be in a relationship so soon, and they tend not to work out anyway once you reach college or work. I'm single and I'm quite happy actually. I'm not that jealous or anything and some of my friends are still single. No need to rush. @Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
In relationships you learn things that you don't learn from school lectures. I'm the same as you, I'm passive when it comes to getting boyfriends. In fact, i don't particularly care about getting one at all. As a teen, we enjoy time with our friends. You're still young so it's a good time to be single, too.
It's those people who are already adults who find the need to find a partner. Humans are like that. Some of them are too needy.
@dellessimon45 (710)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I'm single and unhappy and unsatisfied!
Being single is not cool and is not fun because you have no one to talk to or share all your feelings with. Plus there isn't that special person to be there to listen to you and to comfort you and to be all yours!
Why you would want to remain single? It's fun for some time, and you can party and dance with whoever but after a while, you would want to be with someone who will make you feel better and happier! After all, shouldn't that be a goal for every individual, to find someone that will satisfy their needs?
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
You are totally right, delle. Single is fun for sometime but in the long run, we will have to find that special person who we can be with until we are old.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I am single and happy, I am single and better. I admit, being single is really sad but you will have a total freedom. Freedom from worries that your partner might be cheating with you, freedom from insecurity because there are more good looking women around. I choose being single because I am already completed. I am a single mom but I am happy and I only focused on my child. My baby would definitely needing support from the father but as long as I can do everything for her, I will not call her father.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
22 Nov 11
Single and blissfully, blissfully happy thank you very much. I am at a point in my life where I think that a relationship would set back a lot of what I would accomplish. Now six months, a year or more down the line, that tune could be something that is going to be changed. However, right now, I think that there are going to be just for the best if I remain single.
I think that many get it into their heads that they need to be in a relationship with someone to be happy. However a relationship just for the sake of having one is just unfair to both people involved. If something happens, it will happen. Something there are going to be a lot of people who are in relationships that really are just token as they try to fill a hole in their life. That's just how backwards society is in general. all of these standards and people feel pressured into filling them.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
19 Nov 11
Hi Aja,
I dated before and now I am single. It is true that when we arrive the age when most people getting married, single will become bitter status for we to have. But however, I still meet those people who doesn't want to marry because they want to keep the freedom they have while being single. One of my single friend said, "Why should get married when single life is so free and nice. We can go with those we want and do whatever we want. No one will hold us down. The most important thing in this life is money. So, if you have money, nothing is matter."
I said,"Well, maybe money can buy you everything. But still, not everything can be bought by money. For example when you are sick, money can only buy you medicines. It will never be able to take care of you when you are in pain."
Well, the point is single can be fun but however there is time when we need to end this single thing.
Single sometimes is fun for me.. but sometimes it is bitter. Moreover, when I see my friends who are married and have kids already. Or those who are in happy relationships which are going to more steady relationship.
But nothing I can do. So, I just sit and wait up. See, what happen next.. :)
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
I agree that single people's freedom is enjoyable. And i agree with you when you said that you can't be single forever. Money isn't everything.
Can cold hard cash give you warmth? Comfort maybe but not love. Only another human can give you love, not money.
Besides, if we choose to be single forever, we'd end up old maids and old men with no family to take care of us. maybe we have relatives who will take care of us, but they have closer family members to prioritize. You would be like an outsider for always. Though, I'm not saying that is always the case. You may be taken in by a great family.
@sunli123 (538)
• China
19 Nov 11
Hi, Aja, I believe you are very serious on this topic as you wrote so much. I am single at presnet, and I am enjoying my time now. I regard this period as an opportunity to stay with and know more about myself. But of course, I have the moment of feeling lonely, helplessness and anxiety. I also wish that I can meet the right one soon. The point is, no matter in what kind of situation, I need to know what I really want exactly and love myself first.
I wish you good luck and a nice weekend.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Hi, sunli. Ah, I didn't intend to post such a long post. It's mostly because I enjoyed reading this comics now that made me have so much more to talk about.
Knowing yourself first before you get into any relationship is a good move. ^_^ Thanks!
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
19 Nov 11
I was married (21 years ago) and since then I am single and happy.
More happy as I ever was in my childhood or during my marriage (never felt so miserable, lost, lonesome and such a loser, also never been so abused).
I love my freedom, being alone, being with me is such a luxury.
I need to have time for me to think, to be with me.
Always someone around me I do find annoying.
I know what romance is but I am not looking for it anymore, I don't need anyone to give me compliments to make me feel good. Why not? Because I know who I am, I accept myself the way I am and it's not interesting what others think about me.
And yes I will get married again soon. Not because it's my biggest wish but it's important for him. And no we won't start living together, how furture will be I don't know, but we both live in different world so I don't think there will be much changing in my lucky situation.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
I began to appreciate single-hood when i broke up with a past boyfriend. He was such a jealous person, he wouldn't even let me talk to my friends. I realize he was trying to keep me all to himself, i was so naive back then. After that, i felt myself getting stronger as person and as a girl, i don't have to rely on him me to be happy. He was holding me down, when I caught him lying to me about meeting up with this girl, i hated him so much, i even threw his cellphone from the 4th floor of our school. Single-hood freedom tasted best after getting out of the prison he put me in our relationship.
@bewitchingmelody (366)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Can I say both? Hahahah! But most of the time, I am happy because I am FREE and I can be with anyone at any place and time without someone who would keep on checking on me aside from my mom. Pfft! Plus, I don't experience the bf-gf drama like my friend who calls me and rants about her bf then comes to my house and then eats my chocolates if there are still chocolates left in the fridge :P
I admit that it gets lonely sometimes especially when I see a few couples passing by. I am actually a NBSB/ No BF Since Birth. I am actually proud of it because I know at my age, that status is rare. Being a NBSB, I sometimes wonder how it felt to be held by someone, how it would feel to have someone to hold your hand, and all the mushy things that couples do. Most of all, I wonder how it felt to love someone and be loved by someone who is a complete stranger in return. Ok, I am being melodramatic and off topic.
Back to your question, I am mostly happy with my NBSB status but I get bitter sometimes. Heheheheh... ^_^
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Must be tough to have doting mom, I'm sure she's only worried about you and did everything out of her love for you XD
Hey, your friend sounds like an adorable person ahaha -wink wink-
I assure you that getting to experience those things you just mentioned are worth waiting for. It has to be with the right person, so careful who you choose to be your boyfriend. Good luck, girl~
@Momenly (30)
• Lebanon
19 Nov 11
I'm single too! I've never been in a relationship, and I'm not regretting it. Being in a relationship is a responsibility, so I'm trying not to commit with anyone. Everyone around me knows of my situation, and I don't feel really abnormal. I'm looking for the utterly perfect girl to complete my life. I'm so picky when it comes to long lasting things, and because being in a relationship means a long-life commitment, I'll be so, so picky when choosing my girl!
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
^_^; umm... i think I should have mentioned but I do have a boyfriend. This, though, doesn't keep me from understanding single people. I was single... once XD And I still remember how it felt.
There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with being picky in choosing the perfect person for you. Just don't get too picky, because you might miss her. :)
