why do parents compare their to kids to others?

I totally agree. Even if their children are smart, and excels in school, they will still compare their children to someone else. I think they don't even realize that they hurt their child's feelings. Even for me, I was really happy with my accomplishments and I also thought that my parents are happy for me. But one time, my mom started to compare me to the other children, saying that they are very great, very established, that I should be the same.

WHen I used to complain that to my parents after getting pi*sed off, they would tell me. it is to make me competitive. So I would want to be like those kids. But not all kids are the same. I have my own special qualities and they, their own. I still get mad a that.

it also happen with me and my brother, my mother always compare my brother with me. i know i am more smart than him. but actually i don't agree with this, i know maybe my mother want to give some motivation for my brother. but i think this is not just way for give motivation.

This is one issue in relation to my daughter I have been time & again counseling my wife to avoid. My daughter doesn't like it. She is an above average student working to her potential. She may not always top the list in her batch but she is always within top five. My wife is not satisfied and wants nothing less than # 1 or # 2. Her thinking is that she can inculcate killer instinct in my daughter if she cites achievements of no. 1 & no. 2. I don't like to pressurize my daughter with such burden of expectation. If she becomes a bibliomaniac, may be she will top the list but that's worthless in later life. The examples my wife tends to use for comparison are total workaholics with no scope for personal development. Based on my experience, I would like my daughter to strike a balance between common sense and academic excellence. So, comparing my daughter with toppers doesn't go well either with the daughter herself or me. My wife has gradually come round to realize the virtue.

i am a tecaher at primary school, form teacher position. it is bad idea,comapring kids with others because evrykids is unigue. when i was kid, i couldnt sing, i could play any musical insturmen, and i couldnt do any exrecuse. what a shame kid. what a poor kid. but that is me. i didnt enjoy when i was compared ith others kids, hurt my heart. thus now i dont compar one of my student with others.

I always wonder why people compare themselves to others? Does it make them feel better or more successful or prettier? I really don't understand it. Yea if you wanna find someone who is doing worse than you,I am sure you will. But there will always be someone who is doing much better than you too. There will always be someone prettier,richer,smarter,cooler,etc. I try not to compare myself to others because I think it is pointless and can only make me feel I am not enough. If I have kids one day I will do my best to teach them not to compare themselves to others. Happy Mylotting! :)

Hi Judy... I've been through this... I have endured comparisons with my friends and my brother... And they still do compare! Parents want their kid to be better than other kids. That way, they wanna prove themselves the Best. That's where the comparison starts... I'm 29 today and they still compare me with my brother; i'm always the loser. :-(...

I have experience. My mother compared me to my classmates. I think they are trying to make us good. I think parents always thinking about us. They are comparing us to others to become good manners.

Your life is supposed to be some type of competition, all the way through - I realized that when I was young. You see, my parents also compared me to other children, but they didn't - *snicker* - allow me to compare myself to other people for excuses. For example, my parents compared me to this goody-two-shoes, know-it-all, star-in-the-school guy, and told me that I should be more like him. Compared to him, I was quite good in school - my GPA was always above 3.5 or so. This still makes me cringe sometimes, because I was giving it my all, and my parents still told me that I could do better (I sometimes felt that I was gonna fall into an all-work-and-no-play kind of situation, which would've been a problem, since I also was quite well-known in my class). The "bandwagon" excuse didn't really work for me, as I told you earlier. I was like "But everyone's doing it too!", but my parents told me to go their way most of the time. I eventually came to the conclusion that they were tyrants disguised as my mentors, and I had to look up to a few teachers in school as almost-like-parent figures. So, I believe parents compare you to other kids because they want you to be much better than them - there's always a secret tunnel of rivalry below every good, strengthened relationship.

This reminds me of my childhood, I'm still compared even now! I try to make my parents happy but they always seem dissatisfied in what I do or achieve, especially my mother. My grades are pretty good so far but if there is a slight drop because I may have done not as great in one test, my parents would demand why my grades dropped. Pretty much, they don't understand how grades work and how teachers write reports. My parents don't care that I don't do a sport or play an instrument, as long as my grades are good. Though, I do have cousins who are compared heavily. Their Dad is pretty rich and he tries to make all his kids successful. All his kids have played almost every sport and all play piano. They all do tutor and he expects them to top the state in school and become Doctors or something similar. Of course, my family isn't that rich but my parents try to get me tutor to achieve too. What also annoys me when parents compare their kids' looks and say how ugly their kid is or fat they are.

There are parents like that.Because to the parents,want their kids also be a good person,knows lke everything.. Like exampl other parents want their kids to finish the college course,because they other kids done it or graduate.. could be a lot of reasons.

I'm fortunate that I seldom been compared by my parents to others.It's too rude to hear comparisons because it makes us be little and insecure. I guess parents who do this are those parents who are also insecure of themselves. They should be open to reality that these kids comes from their blood and a product of how they brought up their kids to become. The next thing your parent will compare you then, it is but wise to ask them that they made you what you are now.

Hey! Even I don't understand why my parents compare me with others. Even I used to be a silent guy(sometimes would play football), but some of my classmates would play instruments like piano and drums. My parents always used to compare me with others that Why don't I go and play with them? I was not at all interested in all those at that time, but now I am crazy about them. In one thing they were happy for me, I used to top in my class in drawing competition. One thing I have learnt that never to take anything personally on our heart if our parents say us anything. Who knows may be our talent lies in some other field. So we need to believe in our self and work hard on the field we like and make our parents feel proud.

Every parents wants thier children to be the top.If the child does not reach upto thier expetations,they will react by comparing with others.This is common.But they always wish for a positive result that the child's improvement.But sometimes they will get negative result that the child get desperate. I have also experieced such cases.But you know,every parents are not like this.