when someone gets sick in the family, every one gets affected

You have not mentioned in this discussion how your father is ill. But you know we all go thru this at some point. Some sooner than others. It's not easy to give up your life to care for a loved one, not everything in life is fair. I've had to care for my Mother in various manners until she was forced to stay in a nursing home.

Hiya HS, Hope you have found more help by now as you need it. It is quite tiring to say the least to keep an eye on a sick Person all the time and no time off to go out at all. With my Mom I was getting left on my own with her most times and the real truth is that she was not much trouble to me at all it was the ones surrounding her that caused me the most heartache really. Although I had to be on my feet and get her up of the floor and help to feed her and do everything else for her like I said the worst ones to cope with were the surrounding Family. They just made by life impossible and I could not take the strain much longer of having to put up with them and their nasty behaviour. My Mom was an Angel compared to them lots of hours lots of care I was sleeping very little. They need such a lot of understanding it cannot be easy to find themselves in that situation I know but also the carer themselves need as much help so as to know how to cope with it all. I think that its so unfair for it to be dumped all on to one person and expect them to carry all the burden of it. Anyway hope you are getting some helping hands in around you.xxx

I totally understand how your life has changed since your father has to be taken care of. I experienced the same thing when my mother got diagnosed with cancer six years ago. Since she lives with me and I am single, most of my daily routine revolved around her. But my word of advice is to try to sneak in some time for yourself too because if you don't you will easily get tired and burnt out from caring from your father. I didn't think how not going out and just staying to take care of my mom would greatly affect me. One of my "alone" times was sneaking to my favorite pizza restaurant to eat a plate of lasagna. I would usually do this when I would run errands for my mother. And please do not think of your father's sickness in a negative way in terms of how it is affecting your life. As much as possible, try to be as normal like before he was sick because I know that your father would hate it if his illness would rob you of your own social life too. As with all parents, he wouldn't like that.

It is really hard if someone is sick in your family. Some people should really make sacrifices in order to make things better. It must be really tough what you are going through. There is only me, my husband and my baby in our home. If he get sick or my baby, definitely I won't be able to go to work since no one would look after them. That's why we are trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Health is definitely wealth. I hope your father get better soon. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon I agree with this quote completely. We can't really predict what would happen in our future.

I hope you can hire a part time nurse to look after your dad. You must keep on living and care for him as a part of the family also.

good day hotsummer, i am the eldest among of the four siblings. and being at this position, my parents told me to take care of my other 3 siblings. as i am standing just like my parents during their absence. so, if somebody gets sick, i need to give them a special treatment in order for them to regain their health. but, as time goes by, especially now that they have grown up, they dont want to be treated with special attention. aside from that, they are not appreciates anymore what i am doing to them, so, when someone gets sick, i do not know what to do anymore, if i will be going to treat them or not. thus, i am not allowing my self to be affected with the situation since they are not appreciating anymore the effort that i am giving.

Hi hotsumer, The Land Lady where I stayed as a paying guest howsoever though my rooms were detached from theirs. They had great concern for me. When I am sick they would take all possible care. would look me after. Once their father, aged 75+ got ill and became so weak that literally he looked lke a monkey. so weak that he was not able to move. Two their children had their exam c h e e r s Rajib

When we were kids it used to affect us the most. If one kid fell ill till the kid recovered there was no junk food or even snacks for the rest of us!

yes in my home me and my father only.So if i am ill after a day he starts feeling ill.i dont know why but if i get fever he too gets.

Hi. I can relate my life to this totally. In Jauary my mother was diagnosed with end stage renal disease. since then she is on dialysis three times a week. I took night shift for that reason. since then even i have no social life or personal life for that matter. we all are working very hard to meet the medical expenses. it is really emotionally straining for us.. i guess one has to make the sacrifices for the family..take care of yourself and be strong.

good luck to you

I hope you don't mind, but what is actually your father's illness, that it affects everybody? Can he not be given a private nurse instead who can take care of him very well?

A friend of mine is not as mobile now and she is still young.I feel very sorry for the person that is ill, as it can be frustrating for the person that is ill.As for the rest of the family, i know it can be upsetting, as well as put a strain on things when they get tired looking after the person.I feel that it is a shame that there are not more of a support system for people that care for other people.

People lives is truly unpredictable.... Be strong for your father because he can see how affected you are in the situation.... Remember that the strength left in your father is coming from you his family... Don't quit on loving & caring him no matter what will happen because God is always their helping you through it...