How do you forgive?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
November 22, 2011 10:40pm CST
Have you ever had a time when someone did something wrong to you and it took you a while to want to forgive them?
Did you ever reached a time when your mind wants to forgive already but your heart does not seem to find a reason, or a way to do so?
What way have you found effective for you to toally forgive someone?
2 people like this
17 responses
@mirby25 (26)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
I'm the type of person who don't easily get mad. That is why if someone did really something bad to me and hurt me, it would really hard for me to forgive. It will take a long time before I can forgive them. For me, it would be best if I don't see the person or have any form of interactions because in a way it helps me to forget and eventually forgive the person.
1 person likes this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
23 Nov 11
how to forgive.
not easy to forgive, but when you love being able to do many things to forgive and to love more.
I know it is not easy nor is difficult but everyone has their some way.
Oh, I generally always forgive not know why there was a period where I thought that if you forgive then this thing can be repeated but is convinced that it is not.
why people forgive and love.
nice day!
1 person likes this
@mysteryscorpion (33)
• India
23 Nov 11
Hey, i have encountered situations when it is difficult to forgive specially when the other person is not sorry.
As time passes I feel it becomes even difficult to forgive as the wrong done to you has dominated your heart to a largerer extent.
Yes, mind says seeing them in pain that they should be forgivven but the heart says that they deserve this....
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
hi there.. i thought when we let time pass, it is supposed to help us heal the wounds, the hurt, etc. i think for me it is the case.. except if someone has actually not tried to apologized to me.. leaving me to wonder about why or how i could be done this thing.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
23 Nov 11
I think the only thing that we can heal is in fact time. Sometimes it is rather just a little time but there are just many times it is a lot of time. Sometimes we have to coax ourselves into forgiveness. There are just many times where there is just a lot of times where people are going to do something so bad, that it is rather hard to forgive.
Forgiveness may seem necessary to keep the peace. There are just a lot of times where forgiveness is just something that is going to come slowly and more naturally to say the very least. But other times, we just feel pressured into forgiveness because that is just something that we should do. There are just times where something has to give and something has to break. It does take time regardless, if nothing else than to completely understand what happened.
1 person likes this
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
23 Nov 11
Sometimes it means that we care so we can't forgive that person who hurt us.Learn to forgive and that makes us more generous.Completly not to think about it and you may find that you've been give up.Just think wider and you would gain more.Hope this will help.Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@ikbtn1 (23)
• United States
23 Nov 11
you know forgiveness is a matter of the heart and determination.Years back in my life,it was really hard for me to forgive people who hurt me and i was not always happy.Until i realised that unforgiveness is like a burden and if you dont let it out it will weigh you down because its like a spirit that controls you in the sense that if you're happy in a moment and you mistakenly remember how someone hurt,your mood will change immediately to a sad one.So to forgive,you need to let go off everything someone had done to you by being determined to do so.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
uhm, yes that is true when we cannot forgive we always are not making ourselves move forward as well. the feeling of hurt, pain, anger, and resentment would always hold us down and would make us feel not happy, that is true for everyone i guess. while the person who has done us wrong have forgiven themselves and has moved on with life, we remained where we are...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Nov 11
hi chiyosan yes I hated my father for molesting me once as a little girl and could forgive . I married a wonderful man who suggested my hatred was making me physically ill and told me go forgive my father but ask why he did what he did as now it a real crime. I did this an i asked him but he only turned red and left the room. so still I felt a ton of weight lift off my shoulders. I could go back to my husband and ou rtwo little ones with a feelingof freedom. no more atred, it was over.but I never left my dad with the two babies alone it w as okay if mymom was there.otherwise no.Real slimy crimes like this are very hard to forget or forgive.vengenance
is mine sayeth the lord.I remember that always.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
i am so sorry to hear about this about your father and what he did.
it is of the past now... i wonder why he still gets to be around you. i would have been traumatized... i really admire your strength and your courage in dealing with this.
Forgiveness is so hard, but for something like this it is quite impossible - you have somehow able to give that to him... but with caution for your kid's safety though.
What you said was wonderful, that the vengeance is with the Lord, our God. I am sure he is true to that promise.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
As for me, I find it really easy to forgive someone who did wrong to me. I don't know how I do it. I may hate a person so badly but when I've had enough of the day, I no longer find so much hatred in my heart. Although there remains perhaps a little, an apology will be enough to make me forgive. I guess I just have a heart of a child, quick to anger but quick to quick to forgive.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
There are really people who are very compassionate. We do hate, we get angry, we get hurt of course too. and there are just some people, like you who can forgive so easily.. you must really be a kind hearted person. I am not so sure though if you have been terribly hurt like some of us have been here.. it actually makes a whole lot of difference because of the gravity of what the person did to us matters most.
1 person likes this
@afreen1234 (122)
• India
23 Nov 11
I faced a lot of problems like this. first, my mind never gives a way to forgive. then, it cools down.it takes time anyway to fully forgive someone according to me. i just think abt myself into that situation, then my mind slowly starts to forgive the person.
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
I easily forgive person and but sometimes the to forgget is too long to process.
In order for me to forgive is alow me to process the anger to slow down then things are ok but only on a case to case basis.
But i am more on easy to forgive and forget
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@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
23 Nov 11
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@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
oh, yes that is right. we are not perfect we are not the best person and we cannot even say that we have not done something wrong to someone so we should very well be capable to forgive others too. depending on the gravity of the sin commited to us, i think it is possible to forgive, right?
of course it may take some time, but i think it must still be done... of course especially if we want to forgive ourselves.
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
Every does have someone they thought they can't forgive. I experience this a long time ago when my friend flirted with the guy I love. I thought I could never forgive her but it is true that time heals everything. In a matter of 2 years we are the best of friends again and up until now. I can't beleive that we will have such kind of argument over a guy. It was so funny.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
hi there jtj. thank you so much for your response. in your case, friendship helped you build your relationship back again to the way it was - or even better. maybe that is true. i heard also before that it is easier for us to forgive people we love than those we do not care much about.
@mirby25 (26)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
I'm the type of person who don't get angry that easy. That's why if someone did something really bad to me or hurt me, It is really hard for me to forgive. It will really take a long time. It is best that I don't see the person because in a way it helps me to forget and eventually forgive.
1 person likes this
@bethson (10)
•
23 Nov 11
There's a lot of times that I cried and been hurt. And I admit that I am a bit sensitive person. But in my case the person who hurt me so much is a family member or let me say my in laws. She hurt me again and again that's why it took me a long time to find in my heart the forgiveness and the important thing is she's not sorry for what she did in fact she's proud of hurting me. So who will I forgive when no one is asking forgiveness. But for me the most effective way to forgive someone is when that someone is asking for it deep from the heart.
1 person likes this
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
24 Nov 11
Hi chiyosan,
It depends on how that someone hurt me. If they hurt me just a little.. Probably I will just let things go. But if he hurts me bad enough, I will consider that he will never appear in my life. If he appears in front of me, I will act as if he is not there. Then, I will move on. I will not do any revenge.
I'll forget all the hurt and move on. I act the way I act is to prevent myself being hurt by the same person again. :)
@aicragtrebor (28)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
i always forgive people who did something wrong with me..
the way to forgive in my own way, if we want to forgive someone then our heart doesnt i always pray and give me strength to forgive them in heartily way.
if we forgive somebody only in word not in heart..you are only making your self ruin..
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