my boyfriend thinks boys and girs are not equal in social life
By mervealtug
@mervealtug (50)
November 23, 2011 2:30pm CST
i have a boyfriend.i love him so much and i want to marry with him but we have some problems.he is very jealous.he wants to protect me in social life but i am a person i can defend me against other people.i think girls and boys are equal in social life.he never trusts other boys so he constrains me.i try to explain your ideas are wrong but he never listen to me.How can i solve this problem?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
23 Nov 11
mervealtug
Welcome to myLot
I would caution you to be careful with your boyfriend. Is he trying to be too controlling or is he really looking out for you trying to protect you? Jealousy can be very destructive...I would proceed carefully and talk to him about this and tell him it is a serious issue with you. Good luck...
I would caution you to be careful with your boyfriend. Is he trying to be too controlling or is he really looking out for you trying to protect you? Jealousy can be very destructive...I would proceed carefully and talk to him about this and tell him it is a serious issue with you. Good luck...@mervealtug (50)
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23 Nov 11
tkarabulut said a bit jealousy is good.I agree i think a lot of girls like it because girls feel good when boys show interested in but my boyfriend is so jealous so our relationship affects this situation badly.I don't want to discuss him every time about it.how i can change his ideas i dont know
@lampar (7584)
• United States
23 Nov 11
He probably is an insecure and childish boy, never trust other boys around as far as you are concerned. Just ditch him aside, find yourself another boy friend, make sure this time you got yourself a mature man, no more a cry baby half growth boy anymore, you deserve a growth up, not a baby boy. 
@snowhite08 (8)
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23 Nov 11
yes he sure is...being the way he treated you is so immature. You're a grown up girl now, you know what you are doing. Just show and assure him that he's the only one even if you're mingling or socializing with other guys out there.In my opinion he will never have doubts on your true feelings for him that's my suggestion ok.
@mervealtug (50)
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23 Nov 11
maybe my boyfriend's ideas are so different or foolish for you but a lot of my country's guys think similar.i think girls are protected by guys but it has to have some boundry.my boyfriend overstate this sutiation.he wants to interfere all my life
@lampar (7584)
• United States
24 Nov 11
No kidding, my friend! All your country's guys think similar, are they all robots, possess the same childish mentality like a bunch of half growth men and cry like baby boys whenever their girl friends or even wife talk to another man or boy. What country is that you are talking about, talking to a man or boy is just part of social life for both sexes where civil society function, you must be from a place that is ruled by some lunatic leaders or make up by an extremist government. In that case, you are out of luck, my friend. 
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
23 Nov 11
I would think twicew about marrying what I call a controlling person, you must keep youe spirit free and respect yourself enough to live your own life and be happy, I am not sure that can happed with someone who controls you...be careful my friend.
@mervealtug (50)
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23 Nov 11
thanks for suggestions.i know it is my life and i should be free in my life but i am sure he loves me so much and he honors me.He is a true darlig for me i can count good things about our relationship.He is 23 years old and i think his ideas hasn't matured yet.He is vey young and he can't think logical he defeat his feeling.Day by day i can see,his ideas began to change but i don't want to wait for growing his ideas.I want to solve this problem foreover.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
24 Nov 11
Men and women are not equal. Not if it comes to the way we look, not if it comes to strengh or intellect or the way we think or look upon things.
This is a fact you have to live for.
But... not being the same doesn't mean we don't have the same rights in life.
Same rights means: we are allowed to work too, if we do the same job we should earn the same, women have the right of an own opinion, the right to study, the right to refuse to get children, men can cook, clean, take care of children, both can be soldiers etc etc.
If someone wants to protect you I think this is a sign of taking care of someone. Taking care doesn't need to have to do anything with not seeing you as equal.
He is not allowed to forbid you to go out alone, but he, as your boyfriend, is allowed to be concerned about you.
If your boyfriend doesn't trust you with others this is HIS problem.
Signs of that you already mentioned: he is jealous. Can be a sign of love as well unless it is kind of sick behavour and never ending checking you out and locking you in and complaining about the so called dangerous of life.
If your friend is not willing to listen to you, not willing to open his eyes and see that you love him or feel that you love him, there is NO way you can explain this to him.
This sick idea is in his head and it will never leave only get worse.
I would advice you to think over if this is the kind of relationship you want for yourself and in future.
If not tell him it's over and don't forget to tell him (or write it down) the reasons. It's useless to be with a person who is actually telling you he doesn't trust you at all.
@mervealtug (50)
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24 Nov 11
Thanks for suggestion.I agree your opinions.You inticated true points.I know what i want from life.We have been in relationship for 6 years and we haven't any problem except from jealousy.He is so faithfulness against me.I think we can solve this problem.I turst him and i think he trust me.His problem is about other people.He had bad experience about it.He thinks men and women can't be near friend because men began to influece from women day by day.I know a lot of example have similar situation.For example we had been a near friend with my boyfriend before we were in relationship.Eventhough i have a lot of example about this situation,i think men and women can be a near friend.
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
I thinks that things or that problem only happen when your partner don't have a trust on his/her partner. I think he don't want you join other company because he is afraid that you fall in love with other and i think that is kind of losing trust to a partner. Try to ask him what if he trust you, and he answer yes then tell him that he must prove it by letting you join other and let you have your own social life.
@tkarabulut (434)
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23 Nov 11
I think you should give value to your boyfriend's words. He may know important things about life.
@Galena (9110)
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23 Nov 11
big warning bells there.
he thinks that because he has different genitals to you, he can tell you what you should be doing. he is wrong.
and I hate to say it, often one of the earliest signs of domestic abuse in the future is one partner telling the other who they can see and where they can go.
it shouldn't matter whether he trusts other boys. IF he trusted YOU then he would know you wouldn't cheat. it's not that he doesn't trust other people, he doesn't trust you not to cheat.
it's a sort of control he is trying to exert, and when one person tries to control the other, that sets warning bells ringing.
be very careful.
and go out and have your social life and do as you wish. if he tries to stop you seeing friends, family and having some fun, then it may be that this isn't the right relationship to be in.
@boyuancy (1708)
• India
24 Nov 11
I'm sorry but your boyfriend has a point here and has a reason to feel insecure. If a guy from your friend circle develops feelings for you, then what will you do? It is easy for guys to fight back and get rid of pile-on girls but not the other way around. Get my point? Sorry for being a male chauvinist.
