Intimate Relationship with Co-Worker

@vexxus (712)
Philippines
November 24, 2011 6:44am CST
Hello people, Have you ever been into a relationship that is forbidden, forbidden because you fell in love with your Co-worker. A friend of mine have this kind of intimate relationship, the company prohibits this type of scenery. Because the Company worries that their relationship would interfere on their job, since they work together their concentration and attention would be divided. And if the management would learn about it they be terminated. If this happens to you, which of the two will you choose? the relationship or your job?
2 people like this
15 responses
@waya616 (149)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
Really? the management will really terminate them? It's against the law right? Like is it wrong to fall in love??
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
What kind of law? every establishment has their own house rule and it is well written on the contract they have signed, a house rule is a house rule. Their company is not paying just to fall in love, they were hired to work for the company and not to have sort of intimate personal matters inside the company.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
Hi, Waya. Companies have policies like this. There's a valid reason behind it and there are also exceptions. Some companies are specific in that they forbid relationship if the people involved work in the same department.
@waya616 (149)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
OK I get it. I haven't encountered something like that yet. The termination thing is too harsh though for something like "love". It just caught my attention, funny I have to ask my cousin, a pol.sci grad, than I have to call my dad to confirm it. But well they both say the same thing, so I have to give in to their explanations, I cannot contradict what is written but for me its really absurd. Anyway it's not really the topic, sorry. :)
1 person likes this
@champoy186 (1638)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
Actually this happens to me. My current girlfriend is my co-worker. Our manager knew it. It was fine with him as long as our work will not be destructed by our relationship. I know that most of the companies don't allow this. Maybe our company is not really that strict. Fortunately, our work is not affected whenever we have a lover's quarrel. lol
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Your lucky to have your girlfriend with you, your manager has an understanding heart, Good luck to your career and love life.
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Thanks my friend. I knew that most companies prohibit this. I'm lucky that our boss here understands us. It doesn't affect our performance here. Happy mylotting!
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
24 Jan 12
It would really all depend on the woman involved. It would take a lot to get me to consider leaving a job because of a woman, but I would not totally rule out the possibility if I thought that I really had a chance at a future with her. I would probably ask HER to find another job instead, though, because that would be a good indication of how serious she was about our relationship…
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
I agree with you, you should not leave your job because of a woman, since you should be the breadwinner for the both of you, so she could find another job or stay at home to take care things if she wanted to, that's a great response though I started the discussion months ago, I am still eager to hear new ideas.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
25 Nov 11
I've always try not to be in an intimate relationship with co-workers because it does really disturb the concentration for the job but I'm not sure if I do really fall for someone at work. I would still avoid it because it's hard not to have a job and depending on other people's effort for living. Maybe it will be okay if the two of us are from different department. How about you by the way? Have a nice day
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Now that's a real feedback. Yes, I have fallen in love with my co-worker sometimes, Falling in love is easy, but the hardest part is to be loved in return. LOL, I mean I've had no luck having a relationship from my previous jobs, I am not that bad looking, I am actually a kind,neat and responsible fellow, I just don't know why they don't like me, LOL :). I guess before I start to open it up, I am already two step behind. I am slow as a turtle when it comes to saying I like you.
@phoenix35 (384)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Having an intimate relationship with a co-worker is indeed unhealthy. Me? I have basis; if I love my job, I'll have to let go of my lover. But then if I can't live without him, I'll resign. Anyway, if he is really in love with me, he'll support me financially (kidding). It's a good thing I am married, so romantic relationship with a co-worker is a big no.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
I agree with you, being romantic in a work place would really draw the attention of others. Better not to have a relationship with a co-worker before it can ruined anything we value and hardly earned career.
@julilene (21)
25 Nov 11
if it were me i would choose my job.my job came first before the relationship strarted to bloom in the work office. the point that im trying to make is that you can live without love because youre earning to eat,buy, travel etc. but what if you choose love?can love pay for your debt?food and transportation?the answerr is obviously not.if i were stuck in suck scenario i would just look for lovein all other places rather than my work place this way i can keep both,both my work and my love life.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
I don't find anything bad at your decision, your just being practical when it comes to your surrounding and the things you want to have, very honest and you have a pure intentions, your partner would definitely understand your point of view. I too have that kind of mindset when things tries to confuse me which side should I choose. It's hard to live by love alone this days and it is much harder to defend on others when it comes to supplementation of our basic needs.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Is it really forbidden for some companies to have relationships with your co workers? In my previous jobs, the company allowed its employees especially if they have met on the company and has not joined the company at the same time.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
yes some company allows it, but the other some company does not, I guess it depends upon the company and the place and the fields of work, if they meet in the same field that would not be useful for them but if they work in different operation, and having an affair is inevitable the management would decide.
@ram_cv (16513)
• India
24 Nov 11
Thankfully no. I do not really think I believe an intimate relationship with a co-worker is very healthy. In fact, that is why me and my wife do not work in the same company as well. I think there is also sound financial sense in that as if the company gets into trouble, the other partner in other company can be useful. Cheers! Ram
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Sounds a great idea, if the other company cease to operate the other partner still has a job since they are not in the same company, there will be no financial crisis inside the house.
@akangirl (2436)
• India
27 Nov 11
Actually i would choose the job as i had been in this tough situation not with my co-worker but with my boss and it was real tough.Some people did suspected our relationship and to make them believe there is nothing between us we pretended to be angry with each other.He will always complain about my work and made me work even more harder and talk to me harshly in front of others, invited ex-girlfriend in office and due to this my work suffered and it literally became a mental torture.I knew we were just pretending but it created a environment negativity so i quit the job and that was a mistake. My cousin also fell in love with her co-worker but management found about it and transferred the boy to another place which was quite far so they couldn't meet on daily basis and even there week offs used to be on different day.The only solution was for one of them to quit the job eventually and my cousin did.Believe me its not as easy to find another job as it lookslike. So its better to avoid dating your office people.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
Well, in this situation, either we both resign or one of us stays with the company, and I'd rather be the one who would resign. Call it chauvinistic, call it whatever, but I'd rather I be the one who goes through the hard work of finding a new job than the girl. So I guess I'd choose the relationship.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
You got a point there, just like my friend she chose to gave up the work and be with her boyfriend, at first I thought why would she sacrifice instead of her man, but then I realize he is the man and should be the breadwinner for the two of them, she is lucky enough to get a job a month later, she was recall from her previous work, though her new work place is a bit far. At least their love remain.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
24 Nov 11
Oh yes it is. I had such a connection and then with my boss. but while he is married and our relationship and now we are just wonderful we decided in December not to mix these relationships because it is not useful. should seriously think about whether you want to continue a serious relationship with this person or just an entertainment. Think carefully and then decide. If you think that he is your man continue living with him. success. nice day!
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Having an affair to your co-worker while working won't help you to be more productive and also it can not help to concentrate more on your work, since your lover is around with you, you can put all your attention to work and indeed not really useful.
@m4gin00 (120)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
well if it happens to me....ill find a new job if i really love the relationship....since you now have a inspiration to find a new job.... it is easy to find a new job but it is hard to find a good relationship.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
You are right, love spark in a much different way than being successful to find a good job and a career, your career cannot bear your seed, unlike a good relationship no matter how hard it is to maintain that intimacy it would eventually be fruitful.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
I've never experience such kind. I am always trying to be on the safe side and I don't fall in love with co-workers. I know someone who was in this kind of forbidden relationship. It's really hard especially when the company has good benefits and salary. But I guess, if the two are sure about their feelings for each other and their relationship is already getting serious, they have to plan about it. Like start saving for their future. Coz one of them has to leave the company eventually. So they both need to start saving up some money. And later one can use the skills he/she got from the company and shift to another company. One who has a better position in the company should stay and one should leave.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
They need to save money as long as they are in the company with good benefits, and as long as the management won't learn about it, If would be hard to that person to let go his/her job title, since lots of hard work and time was already spent to reach that position. I agree the higher position should stay for the sake of the job and their relationships.
@JER616 (545)
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
I had this experience once. Nonetheless, it was not really a "love" that went between us but lust since that co-worker seduced me into falling for that co-worker. Subsequently, the motive appeared clearly that the worker just wants money from me. As soon as I realized that, I quit the job to distance myself from that co-worker without informing my action. I preferred that way, for me not to burden myself anymore.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
There are actually people like them who wants to milk from others, you made the right decision, don't let those people ruined your character. cheers, you'll find a better partner and good friends, and the money they took will return to you ten fold.
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
I had previously in a relationship with my co-worker and it lasted about four years. Though we are not in the same place and we are in different department and rarely see each other in the office we still connected to each other in terms of work, and that is why we are getting to like each other. The company also prohibits the relationship in the work, though not in the same that terminated the employee who is committed in such relationship (I guess so?), but we, as in-love to each other we never see it that way. We fell in love, but we hide it to everyone only few are known that is who are very close to us. But as all say no secret are always keep, they found out, and asking me to when and how it will happen, i just face them and telling the decision and the person i choose is the right thing. And they let us to continue. And as like others relationship, After they found out and trying to survive in all trials we did not survive the relationship, and end up to separate ways. Though its not an easiest and good break up we had, but i am not regret having commit in that kind of relationship.