I think I'm too gentle. Does that make me ineffective?

No. Sometimes we may feel that others take advantage of it. If we get over that then we may be able to function well. I am perceived as a liberal and considerate person. I follow rules for attending office but when it comes to giving benefit to employees I use to be liberal. good day.

The biggest thing for me is that I tend to be way too soft with my children. The result of this is that they try to walk all over me all the time. This isn't a good thing and I really should have realized sooner that I couldn't be both a parent and friend to my children while they are small. However, this is something that I'm working on making better as I'm spending more time with the kids.

Consequence for being gentle is that some people tend to become abusive and let things be done by you even if it's already beyond your job. Another cons is that you are being misinterpreted as an ineffective employee or person even if you are doing your best though. For me you should take things in balance you should monitor yourself if you are already being too much in both sides of the matter.

If we look at ourselves and we see character traits that are good ones, I see no disadvantage in that unless they are mismanaged. Not sure if that is the right word to use but what I mean if there is a deadline and you communicate this and make it understood that there are consequences then I do not see an issue. Only if the character trait prohibits the message. Shyness for example might prevent the information from being delivered but gentleness need not affect communication negatively. People that are used to only one style of management that is aggressive might not get it but that would be their confusion. Perhaps being repetitive, asking for confirmation as to what the deadline means might fix that confusion while still maintaining, creditability with gentleness and that would be showing consideration?

Good evening dear mylloter friend , first of all i care to say that i consider myself to have the same carachter as yourself , i tend to be a verry polite person , my mother had gaved me a verry strict and full of polite manners , and for that when i used to be a teenager the macho guyz used to either pick often on me either take advantage of my goodnness , because besides my polite character i tend to be a rather naive person when it comes to be asking for my help , i always tend to see if i cann ease up people weights ( figure of speach ) , so because of these "flaws" manny people used to take advantage of me , untill i decided that no more , now i still continue to be gentile and polite , but only with people that truly desirve to be helped and that truly need , people who wont take advantage , even if those people are verry few i believe i am here to help those people and try to mark their lifes in a good way , so that them in return will someday help another person who will be in a bad situation and trully need someones shoulder and helping hand, so whatever people may thing of me i trully am not ashamed and will not change been this way . I wish you a trully great evening dear friend. Hosman...

I share your concerns because I am similar to you're methods of dealing with people. I would like to commend you on being considerate and I guess understanding on other party's capabilities. Maintain such attitude. However, it is not wrong that once in a while,you applyw force to show authority. This will remind the people around you that there's still that line that they must not cross. Being too gentle or too friendly can sometimes lead to abuse of your kindness. Drawing the line, demanding,exerting force of authority is helpful.

I think I can be classed as too soft, and because of this I think sometimes people find it easy to take advantage of me a little, but being a bit of a people pleaser I feel so long as the people I care about are happy then I am happy too.

Hello there... I am somewhat like you... It is a good thing, and many appreciate it... But boy, we have got to be careful when it comes to important issues, where a little stubbornness is highly necessary... I am like you, soft spoken and kind to everyone. But whenever I feel that someone is taking advantage of it, I throw away my kindness cloths and put on a stubborn mask... Being kind is good, but don't let anyone take advantage of that... Good Luck!

I am often gentle, but now always just remember it says in the bible, "The meek shall inherit the earth"

Well I guess handling people is really difficult. There are different kinds of people and each of them have different attitude. If you are to considerate, it may also backfire in you since people might abuse you for such. If you are to strict, then it can also be bad. I guess the best thing to do is be a fair person. Give credit where is due and provide punishment if needed. The important thing is to respect each one of them and most likely whether you are strict people will understand. I have been handling people before, I do not know whether I am good at handling people or not. But I have always noted that no matter what, people will always abuse you if you are to considerate.

Hello Pushhyarag2000, I do make a balance i always don't remain liberal i need to be strict sometime.I understand it well that when you are labeled as gentle and generousness your subordinates don't listen to you and you start losing control on them. On daily dealings too people take you lightly if they see you liberal or soft all the time and many don't hesitate to take advantage of yours many times.

i think you've already found your answer. as you said, there are time when being such may be misplaced. i myself am a firm believer of the adage that there's a time and place for everything. also, it's when things are too much that cause problems. being gentle i think does not necessarily equate to or efficacy of a person, i have a professor that is foremost a gentle soul. people think there would be a skating rink in hell first before she would loose her temper or even raise her voice. But. she is always firm and conducts herself with such authority and intelligence that she only has to raise her brow to get the lot of us moving--and i have rebel tendencies lol.