SOME Men can be Jerks Sometimes
By LaraTecson
@LaraTecson (726)
Philippines
November 27, 2011 2:11am CST
A friend of mine has a boyfriend who seems to be the most perfect man you would find in this world. He is smart, gentleman, and of course handsome. I even envy their relantionship at times.
Until one day, my friend's boyfriend told her out of the blue that he does not love her anymore. He told her he is no longer happy with her. My friend was caught off guard because just a few days ago, they celebrated her birthday together and nothing seems wrong. My friend did not break up with him yet. She told him that they could still work it out.
Yesterday was their anniversary. My friend, despite of their rocky situation, decided to bake a cake for him for their anniversary. She was sick but still she continued with her plan.
After she finished the cake, she went to her boyfriend's place and give it to him. His only reaction was "Thank you. I have to go now. I'm busy." He said that in a very monotonous voice, without any sign of appreciation or whatever. He did not even walk my friend to her home considering that she lives just a few blocks away.
My friend was hoping that they could get back to their old relationship, but after that I don't think there is still hope for them. I adviced my friend to break up with him because this relationship would go nowhere. I hope she do it asap.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
That's so sad! There must be a reason why he suddenly fell out of love. Your friend is still in denial, I guess everything is still not sinking in. I know it won't be easy for her because she loved him and I guess they never had any fight before he broke up with her. So she's still thinking maybe they could still work it out. She has to stop at some point. Normally when the guy is the one who broke up, it is really difficult to make it work again.
@LaraTecson (726)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Hey you're right! They have been together for a year and they never had a fight! That's why we are all surprised when my friend told us about what happened. I feel bad for her. She was crying so hard when she told this. 
I think the guy is only waiting for her to break up with him. I hope she'll do it soon.
I think the guy is only waiting for her to break up with him. I hope she'll do it soon.
@FarahJane1011 (180)
• Philippines
2 Dec 11
So sorry to hear about your friend LaraTecson. But I agree with enelym001, sometimes what a relationship needs is some spices to make it work and succeed. However, one of those is fighting ;-0... Though it may not sound good but that's the only way to know your partner's worst and best attitude. Relationship needs to be polished to make it lasts. And that includes trials, fights, tests, bliss, and more....
I hope your friend can finally move on and start a new direction. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
A relationship without a fight, that's a perfect one. But usually it don't last long. There should be some drama and fight in between for both couple to really know each other well before one of them realizes how boring their relationship is.
I do hope she would do that soon, it's not worth trying to make their relationship work again.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
27 Nov 11
Sorry but I don't understand this.
The bf says he doesn't love her anymore, it takes courage to do so.
Your friend prefers to ignore this message. Her respond: we can still try.
Did he agree with it? I don't think so, for him telling her he doesn't love her anymore is telling her: it's over.
She has to accept that.
It was wrong to bake that cake and hope for more since he said he is not able to give her what she wants.
I think she should have skipped that birthday and not pretending everything is fine.
She let herself hurt for no reason, she already knew the message. What more should he have said as: thanks?
He did not expect her to show up. He doesn't love or want her anymore.
This might seem hard to you or your friend. You can call him a jerk but he is not.
He told her about his feelings. He did NOT keep up appearances, went cheating on her and let her believe she is thé love of his life!
@soulist (2985)
• United States
28 Nov 11
I completely agree with you. Yea its sad and it hurts to have someone say that, butit took courage for him to tell her the truth instead of going on with a mask or pretenses. Him telling her "I don't love you anymore" or "Im not happy" was telling her that the relationship was over. She shouldn't have tried to bake a cake or try to make things the way they used to be. Your friend needs to understand that she can't make him love her again.
You said how great and wonderful he was and perfect and yet when he was honest he becomes a jerk. That isn't fair to say that about him. What should he have done? Continued the pretense and end up cheating on her? He is still a great man, just one who wasn't happy. Dont blame him for it.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
27 Nov 11
That is so sad, people can be so cruel at times, I think we all have heart breaks so hopefully your friend will find someone better, most people do and they look back and wonder what they ever saw in that person, I wish her luck.
@LaraTecson (726)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Thank you for your concern lilaclady. 
He did not even greet her 'happy anniversary'. There's no point in doing anyway since they're no longer happy. Who would have thought our lives can change in just a turn of a dime.
He did not even greet her 'happy anniversary'. There's no point in doing anyway since they're no longer happy. Who would have thought our lives can change in just a turn of a dime.
@jonahh08 (261)
• Philippines
29 Nov 11
The girl is the problem. If the guy wanted to bail out of the relationship she has no right to stop him. It's stupid to hold on to something that has fallen down to the ground. She must accept the fact that he doesn't love her anymore, simple as that. Because if she continues to think that there's still hope then the pain will double or even triple overtime. Accept and just move on and always think that guys are very unpredictable, like dogs. Lol
@boyuancy (1708)
• India
28 Nov 11
I'm sorry that this happened. But sometimes it is better for both the parties to move on from a relationship. Maybe he is done with the relationship. He doesn't consider your friend as someone who he can spend the rest of his life with, so be it.
I have not been in a relationship so I cannot guess the pain that a person has to go through after a break up. I guess it is pretty bad. But eventually your friend will learn to move on.
Hope it works out for her.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
i am sorry to hear about this story of your friend. I think your friend actually should have expected this to happen since he already told her that he does not love her anymore. There is nothing more for them to protect or to work on since one person has already lost the love for the other one.
If she would continue with the relationship it would only be her loving him and him not even showing a single concern for her. Advice your friend to not do this anymore, and not hurt herself further. It is best that she stay away from him, do not contact him - it is so hard. I know the feeling I have been there and I have somehow still am trying to control my emotions in relation to this. But it is for the best. This way she gives him the space he needs, and for her... she is giving herself time away from him to realize too if she still loves him as well.
Sometimes it might just be a dependency - not love. and by allowing herself time away from the person - she is opening up to knowing if it is still love, or some other feelings that is preventing her to be happy.
@Gram13000 (443)
• United States
27 Nov 11
It sounds to me like he is trying to get rid of her. I would never be that mean to a girl but I have seen other guys do it. If a man is treating a woman like that he really doesnt want anything to do with her and she should get the message. If not then maybe she is having some problems accepting the way he feels so he has to be blunt about it. But for some reason he doesnt want to initiate the break up he wants her to do it or else he would have done so already.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
Oh that's very sad state your friend is now. Have they talked about it heart to heart? Have she asked what made the man fall out of love etc. 
Her pain will take time to heal if she doesn't really know the reason. So, she has every right to know about it.
Her pain will take time to heal if she doesn't really know the reason. So, she has every right to know about it. 
@Xansus (946)
• Bulgaria
27 Nov 11
Well SOME Womans can be jerks sometimes too . But well it seem its just the title for the current situation .
Well people can be Jerks ,but when thing go wrong - they just do . And the only thing is to let go . But still i think breaking up is the best since i dont find him like giving a damn for her in the way he needs now . Seems more like going from Most Caring to Most I dont Care person in the world .
Well its just my opinion :)
@champoy186 (1638)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
I think it would be better if she will accept that her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore. I agree with you that she should let her boyfriend go. Break-up I guess is a right advice to this situation. I don't think that their relationship would work out if they would stay in their relationship. One-sided relationship will go nowhere. Have a nice day!
@amybaby (17)
• China
28 Nov 11
Oh sorry to hear that. Its unlucky to meet such playboy.In my opinion if the boy wants to finish one relationship,its hard to make it up again. Just accompany your friend most time and try to make her understand that he doesnt deserve her love.She deserve better guy.Everything will be fine after some time.
