This Is Family?????
By jujunme
@jujunme (2501)
United States
November 29, 2011 6:52pm CST
i will try to make this discussion as short as possible, so i hope you bear with me.
i am so enraged at my husbands brother i don't know what to do.
My husband has a clean drivers license, no tickets nothing.Well i can't say the same for his brother, in fact he has no license since it was suspended over 2 years ago, but that hasn't stopped him from driving.
Anyway a few weeks ago he was stopped by the police for speeding and when asked for his license he told the officer he left it at home The officer was kind enough to just ask for his name so he could look up his license and guess what?? he gave my HUSBANDS naming him as the driver. not knowing at the time who was who the officer wrote out a ticket and told him he has to appear in court to answer the charge.
Bad enough he did this, but then he had the nerve to ask my husband to LIE for him by going to court and claiming he was the driver that night.
Needless to say my husband had a fit and told him where to go, now his brother is angry at HIM! , and has stopped any contact with him.
in closing i would really like to know your opinion on this matter, what do you think of a family member that would stoop this low to avoid having to pay a fine he would go as far as lying to a police officer by incriminating his own brother?
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2 people like this
12 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
30 Nov 11
Your husband did the right thing.
This is disgusting and abusing behaviour.
This man is only caring about himself, he doesn't care about what he did and who will get punished.
The only way, if possible, to change this man's attitude and behaviour is to let hem be responsible for his own deeds.
Your husband should charge against him because of using his Identity. I think this is a very serious thing.
Do NOT let yourself get scared or threatened by this loser.
Delete him out of your life.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
My husband does intend to let his brother "face the music"since you are correct, he put no thought in how this could harm my husband and then on top of all this ask him to lie for him in a court of law.
and as far as "deleting him out of our lives" we intend to do just that.my husband is hurt and angry beyond belief, so it won't be hard to have nothing to do with his brother.let him pay for his own horrible act.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
30 Nov 11
Hi Jujunme,
I don't blame you or your husband for being furious. It's a pretty low thing to do to someone. My ex pulled this twice. Once, he was driving my brothers car in another state and got pulled over for speeding. He had the same physical description as my brother and the officer believed him. Unbeknown to my brother, his privilege to drive in that state had been suspended. He found out much later when he got pulled over in that state and was charged with driving under suspension. He made my ex go into court with him and admit to what he had done.
Another time, he got stopped for DWI and used his own brothers name. His brother almost lost his job which involved driving before that one got straightened out.
Your brother in law will now get in trouble for driving without a license as well as for lying about who he was.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
30 Nov 11
You aren't naive at all. Unless something like this happens to you, it is hard to imagine someone stooping so low and especially a close family member whom you trust. That has to be so hurtful! His anger toward your husband is just so typical of people that do these kinds of things. It's easier for them to be angry at and blame the other person than to look at themselves and their own actions for what they are. I see above where you said that your husband will be reporting his brother and going into court to straighten this out. Good for him!! He is helping his brother far more than if he lied for him. Now his brother will have to face the consequences of his own stupid choices which I suspect he has probably not had to do enough.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
I may be naive but i find it incredible that a family member would do something like this and then expect his relative to go along with it and on top of it all, get angry when refused.
Funny part is,he lied so the officer wouldn't find out his license was suspended now his lie will only get him in more trouble than he bargained for and all i can say to that is, he has no one to blame but himself
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
30 Nov 11
If anyone of my siblings did a thing like that to me that would be then end of my relationship with that brother or sister. How low can someone go especially to a family member. Then asking to lie for him. I can't believe it. There is a saying that goes something like this, "the first to screw you over is your family." There may be some more to that but you get the jest of it. Did your husband go to court since the ticket was in his name? I would have gone and told them exactly what my brother did and why he did it. What goes around comes around.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
1 Dec 11
Oh good I'm glad he is not letting him get away with this. You have to let us know what happens when your husband goes to court. So sorry that you and your husband are going through this when you both didn't do anything wrong. Good Luck!
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
This "is" the end of the relationship,my husband is hurt and furious that his own brother would pull something like this and the worst part is, his brother has the nerve to be angry at my husband for not doing this for him.
Yes, my husband has every intention of going to court and explaining that it wasn't him driving that day and he is also calling the police dept that issued the ticket and telling them the same.
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
5 Dec 11
HI jujunme: I think that's a disgusting behaviour coming from your husband's brother and the worst part is that he feels angry because your husband didn't accept to lie and lose his good reputation on something he has not done. He just wanted to use your husband 
. That's so sad, specially because he is his own brother. Better stay away from someone like him.
ALVARO
. That's so sad, specially because he is his own brother. Better stay away from someone like him.
ALVARO@jujunme (2501)
• United States
6 Dec 11
Hi Friend:My husband has helped his brother in so many ways through the years, i guess he thought this would be one more time, but he went way too far.To think my husband would ruin his clear record plus risk getting in a lot of trouble for his brothers lie, is "disgusting" and very hurtful
We will be staying away from him since we are both still too angry and upset to keep up the relationship.i just wish he realized how badly he hurt his brother.
We will be staying away from him since we are both still too angry and upset to keep up the relationship.i just wish he realized how badly he hurt his brother.
@allknowing (136100)
• India
30 Nov 11
Your bro-in-law is clever I must say. Atleast give him credit for that jujunme!
What I see here is that your bro-in-law was confident that your husband would protect him - brotherly love?
You are fully within your right to disown him but will your husband do it too?
What I see here is that your bro-in-law was confident that your husband would protect him - brotherly love?
You are fully within your right to disown him but will your husband do it too?
@allknowing (136100)
• India
30 Nov 11
I understand your point jujunme. What is baffling however is on what basis did this guy hope that your husband would 'bail' him out!
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
I don't believe his brother was thinking at all,i do know my husband has helped him out of quite a few jams and maybe he felt this would be no different.WRONG!,this is quite a different matter.and can you believe he said he would do it for him if the situation were reversed? yeah sure!
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
You think he was clever?He took a big risk in thinking my husband would not only accept a black mark on his license, but also would lie in a court of law claiming it was him driving that night. i don't know anyone who would do this brother or no brother.
As for "drowning" him, my husband has every intention of allowing him to go to court by himself and face the consequences and i totally agree with him.
and as for "brotherly love"his brother should have thought of this before faking his identity and potentially causing my husband a lot of grief.
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
30 Nov 11
I would venture to guess that he has a lot more problems than driving, and he is covering them up. I am really proud that your husband did not enable him by lying for him. Sometimes family does not act very nice at all.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
You are so correct friend, his problems go way beyond this license problem, but,IMO this is no excuse for doing this to his own brother who has done nothing but good for him and his family.
I can't imagine how he could believe my husband would go into a court of law and lie for him.Now my husband is going to call the police and tell them it was not him who was driving that night and we really don't care what consequences his brother may face for lying. why should my husband have a mark on his license, just because his brother cannot face his own wrong doing?
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
He does have a lot of nerve and then on top of all this gets angry when my husband refused to go along with it.
Also we found out through the police precinct that issued the ticket that my husband has to appear in court and explain that it wasn't him driving the car,so now we have to go through all this on account of his brother's lie, just infuriating!
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
Well his brother was never known for his intelligence, but his takes the cake.and as far as when my husband doesn't show up in court i agree, his brother is in for a whole lot of trouble .the funny (or sad) part of all this is,his brother lied to get himself "out" of trouble,now he will probably have to face much more than he bargained for.
oh, and yes, we have every intention of calling the police and telling them the truth let his brother face the music on his own.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
30 Nov 11
Hi jujunme! Family can hurt us more than enemies sometimes can't they? I think it's horrible that his brother would pull such a stunt! And to think that your husband simply owes him to go in there and take the heat for his actions! It's beyond me what makes people think that just because you are related that you owe them such things! The thing is that he is going to be in HUGE trouble when they find out he impersonated someone else and I think it would fall under resisting arrest too. You husband does need to call and get it straightened out as soon as possible though. It will go against him if he doesn't. You already know that though.
Take care and I hate to hear that brother in law has laid so much on yours and your husband's shoulders.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
30 Nov 11
Hi Friend: As i mentioned to Garden above my husband is going to call the police and explain that he was not the driver that evening and so much for the trouble his brother may be in which i agree will be "HUGE"
And the fact that his brother is now angry angry with my husband for not lying for him shows how he must think he's owed this favor, well sorry, he put no thought in how this would hurt my husband so why should we have any sympathy for what may happen to him when he goes to court.This really is a sad state of affairs and one his brother caused himself.
@poniface1983 (132)
• India
30 Nov 11
Jununme, in any family, we will have one chap like that, we should be pre-cautious as much as possible, but still you know, we cant control over them, but in my point of view, whatever you husband did was correct, there is nothing harm in conflicting like these person, actually, you should be thankful to your husband, otherwise you wont get a right time to avoid these kind of persons, no hard feeling, this happens for good :)
