How long should a guest be staying at home?
By shailesh5499
@shailesh5499 (81)
India
December 3, 2011 2:49am CST
I have a guest at home from last 15 days. She is my mother's cousin sister, she is above 60, she has suffered from low haemoglobin and eye problems and has nobody else to look after, she has a son but he's drunkard and rather than helping takes her money from pension which she gets from government, this is so unfortunate, and I feel very sorry for her, but how long I should allow her to stay at my home. She is okay now but she's not saying when she is leaving. I've to take her to the doctor for getting an injection of haemoglobin after I go home and put drops in her eyes, as my mother can't put drops as she herself has eye problems and can't take her to the doctor. She says you're doing really good for me and god bless you, yeah I understand but I'm getting tired of helping her now and doing social work. I've asked her directly to leave my home, as I had no other option, how long I should tolerate her yaar. I understand she's nobody else to look after and everyone is just tired of her, but why me, spare me, I've done enough and now it's a time for her to leave. After I asked her to leave she didn't react and said nothing about when she is leaving, and this happened about 4 days ago. I can't throw her out of my home, and that'd be really rude of me. I've asked her but there's no reply from her side. What should I do?
2 people like this
5 responses
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
4 Dec 11
Well, in a case like this I think the Best bet to find out if she reallu lives where you think that they are supposed to live and what could be her fear of going back to that place. (Since you never shared much that it.)
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
4 Dec 11
She's not afraid I don't know what's her problem, she likes being here and the atmosphere at my home, she stays alone and gets government pension, her son is drunkard who asks money from her. He is very rude and probably the worst guy, may be that's why she's afraid, I talked to her son too, and that idiot abused me for keeping her at my home and asked even me to throw her out and let her die. I kind of feeling distressed by this now, and wants get out of this situation.
@indi15 (888)
• India
28 Dec 11
15 days is too much for a guest to stay. I think a week maximum is enough for a guest, after that i really start getting irritated. Complete hose has to adjust for the guest and this can not be done for long.
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
1 Jan 12
She left my house, but helping someone in need is really an experience of lifetime and gives you that happiness which can't be bought.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
3 Dec 11
I guess the time of stay should have been worked out at the start, but I think15days is long enough for a guest to stay, I think you could sit down have a nice quiet little chat and tell her it might be time she thinks about leaving, you can do it nicely.
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
3 Dec 11
Yeah it's pretty long enough, I talked to her nicely, but she behaves strangely as if she doesn't want to go out. I understand she's a problem and her son is really a cruel person and I should help, but how long, she's not saying anything about leaving. In the meantime I'll try once more today.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
3 Dec 11
Maybe she wants you to take care of her forever or something like that. I am not 100% certain about it. Maybe she is waiting her son come over and take her home. I hope there is some sort of social program that government funded and send someone to take care of her instead of leaving her on her own. I understood your situation, and I hope that you will solve this problem pretty soon.
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
4 Dec 11
She wants me to take care of her, as I've been nice with her, but it's not possible, she has to be independent. I've been more than nice with her, doing for her more than her son. In India there's an adult home kind of thing, but the condition is very bad there, we have asked her to live there but she refused it. I'm getting mad by she not responding although I've asked her to leave, she should behave responsibly and better leave by her own than me asking or throwing herself out. Being nice is one thing but being nice doesn't mean you will allow people who don't have their home to live in your home, there's a lot of difference in that. Everybody has his/her own life so am I, it's like taking advantage of being nice. I told her today also she said yes, but didn't say when she'll leave and that again made me mad. It'd be disrespecting her if I throw her out of my home.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
3 Dec 11
wow shailesh, It sounds like you are really in a pickle,
simply because of her age and the additional fact that
you are a nice human being..
I don't understand why she is stuck with you. It seem as
if that by you doing a good deed you got stuck...Where was
your mothers relative living before coming to stay with you?
Why can't see go back there.
It seems unreal that you have actually asked her to leave your
home and she totally disregard you..But you need to have a
real conversation with your mom to have please discuss with
her relative that "its time to go"..being nice is one thing
but being in a position that you are not happy in your own
is something different. Perhap a nursing home might be an
option if she is out of options to stay with other family
member...Good luck with your dilemma.
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
4 Dec 11
I'm in trouble again, I've decided to throw her out if she doesn't leave by Wednesday, it's enough, it's not to be so nice these days people take undue advantage of you being nice with them.
