I finally got an appointment for therapy
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
December 5, 2011 7:46am CST
I'm really hoping this will help. I'm sick of screwing up in life and I really need to finally learn some social skills in life and to stop getting people to hate me so much. Right now I just feel like a rag doll, hair tied in knits, all twisted up and dirty in the limbs and body. I need to clean myself up and get better.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I'm hoping that I can finally meet society's expectations. The task seems daunting, and I'm sure it's going to be a lot of hard work. I wish my husband supports me of my therapy, though, he doesn't believe in it. He says relax and don't let people bother you. His mother feels the same way as well. She doesn't even know of anyone who went for therapy, personally.
I got mixed feelings. For years my doctor wanted me to get personal counselling, even social workers. I myself felt I needed it too, but the only thing that was preventing me was my husband's opinion. Well, this time, I'm going to go through with it. He won't prevent me from going, at least I have that in my favour. But still, I feel small going there, as if I really don't need it and that I should buck up and get on with life....
4 people like this
12 responses
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
Hello! Go for it if you feel you must even when some people like your husband is against it. Do it for yourself if you can! Good thing that there are available therapist there. Depression or other emotional problem is aserious thing that kost people in society neglects. One way or another, let us give ourselves ME time. That means a day off to everything and do things that you enjoy. It can be hours, days or even weeks of ME time.
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
5 Dec 11
If you feel you need it then go on with
it. You know deep inside what you need.
And it sounds like you need someone to
talk to that can offer sound advice and
someone who will be on your side.
One thing you will encounter as you try
to change is resistance. People get comfortable
with who we are. They don't like change,
as most people don't. Also, you will
find others trying to pull you down to
keep you at their level. Many times people
will associate with those whom the feel
superior to and if those people change
then it makes them have to change too or
go away. This could be the case with you mother
and your husband.
It's a brave thing you are doing and it won't
change over night. But, a lot of the course
is decision you make. And you have to decide
to be better and believe in yourself.
Sounds like you may need some medication to help
as well to help you get over the hump.
You are a sensitive person it sounds like if you
let people bother you. There is no bucking up
really. Only the decision to not let others
decide who you are and how you live your life.
2 people like this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Dec 11
I'm on medication actually, and it's really good. It helps with the physical part (brain chemistry) and I noticed a huge difference. I been taking it for years now.
As for people in my life, I'm trying to find a fine line, my husband says that the people in my life are screwballs, and I'm thinking that I must be doing something wrong, and I try to make every effort to make amends and make/keep peace.
I do struggle with self-esteem, I hope I can get that issue addressed, too. I guess I'm scared of becoming "overly-confident" kinda thing and think everything about me is alright when it's not, I know too many people who are like that, and they're such mean people! :-(
2 people like this
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
5 Dec 11
Glad the meds help. Your husband may
be right. It may be your choice in friends.
Don't think it's always you. Just be yourself
and be happy with that. It's jumping through hoops
that is making you miserable.
It's the quality of friends not the quantity
that counts.
2 people like this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Dec 11
I would love to be myself but well, as my husband's mother always says, "keep your month shut and mind your own business". I think I see his point on the friends part, but not sure, most of them are from former foster families, and even my 1st foster mother is very strange towards me, long story there but I talked about it in some of my earlier posts. I just need to get some things straight in my head, that's all.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
5 Dec 11
That is wonderful, because though my online friends are awesome, my husband won't believe any stranger, especially if one has no degree in counseling, so if it wasn't for my counselor, I'd be a mess myself right now. I am also fortunate to find one who isn't judgmental of my faith, that was my biggest concern, but she totally is understanding in what I believe..
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
5 Dec 11
Oh, I know how true that is, keeping things bottled up, it has to go somewhere, better to deal with it when it isn't so overwhelming..
3 people like this
@marguicha (223776)
• Chile
5 Dec 11
What kind of therapy will you have, dear friend? I suppose one learns some social skills with life, such as not telling your thought to everyone. I found out that I wasn´t meant to be a precher of my ideas rather late in life
. Noe I try to keep my big mouth shut and have found that writing is a way of letting steam out. Do that (even if you do go to therapy.
. Noe I try to keep my big mouth shut and have found that writing is a way of letting steam out. Do that (even if you do go to therapy.
@marguicha (223776)
• Chile
6 Dec 11
Just keep in mind that there are lots of people that like you as you are and that whateever the therapy you have, they can help you take out what´s inside you, but noone can change you. We are born unique miracles of life and we must love that.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Dec 11
Just personal counselling, something I should've done five years ago, really. I kept things bottled up and I don't know how to respond to different circumstances, and now I feel like I'm stuck in the mud. So I'm hoping to be able to gain a fresh perspective on m y issues and maybe become a better person.
2 people like this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
6 Dec 11
You could give it a try. I don't know if those work, but, one thing is for sure, as long as you can say whatever is in your mind to someone who won't judge you ~ well, as long as you unburden your thoughts, that will already be something for you. Sometimes, when we converse with our own self (keep our thoughts to our self), we go around circles. But, when we say them out aloud, our thoughts become different. And the act alone of blurting them gives such a relief. You could try therapy ~ and if it doesn't work, you could leave anytime. At least you tried, because, what if the therapy works, right?
Better that you tried and failed, rather than not try at all and in the end it could have helped you if you had tried. Be prepared to experience a lot of pain, though, because you will be going back to your memories no matter how good or bad they are.
I hope the best for you!
2 people like this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Dec 11
I think it's my social skills, and also there's control issues with both my foster families, my biological family doesn't want contact with me either. I just don't know how ot act in public and so I want to change into a better person. There's something that is wrong here, I know that much. I think my biological mother felt condemned by me (that was a good 15 years ago now) because I preached religion at her and I was a new convert and had a big mouth, but I'm not sure exactly what happened. Anyway, I do know she never did want to meet me in the first place dispite my social worker making contact with us and she felt pressured to meet me.
Everything's just so screwed up, I just want to recover. I hope I can recover.
2 people like this
@mysticeyes17 (33)
• Philippines
6 Dec 11
I hope that the therapy will help you a lot.you know what,you're the only one who can help yourself.before you do or act on anything,make sure you think about it not once but twice.
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
6 Dec 11
Remember this, this therapy is for YOU, not everyone who is part of your life. Some people will do, and say, anything to keep things running the way they are. Obviously, that is not doing you any favors. Those people want to keep you down, dependent on them. They may not want you to find your wings because then YOU MIGHT FLY AWAY FROM THEM. Give this program everything you have for as long as it takes. You may discover a new you that is confident, bold and ready to take on new challenges. I wish you all the best.
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
6 Dec 11
The idea of therapy is still daunting for many people. There is still a stigma that people who need therapy are crazy or out of control. I have been in therapy off and on through the years and recently started again to help me sort out some things that are very cloudy as I am going through them. My therapist does not have a vested interest in what ever decision I make in my life. She is just there to help me sort out the issues, make sure I understand my own accountability in making necessary changes, giving me ideas on how to take steps that move me forward but are not too overwhelming. Sometimes when we are talking, as strange as it may seem, I get these "aha" moments that should have come to me before, but when you are in the midst of a complicated situation, you sometimes cannot see the forest for the trees. That's where therapy can help. There is no shame in it and if you can't get support at home, get it where you can....online, friends, understanding family, etc. One word of caution....make sure you mesh with your therapist. The therapy cannot help you if there is angst between you.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
6 Dec 11
If you really need to see that doctor of yours for a better life, or to rebuild a constructive life, why not go for it. If you think that really helps you. I would definitely you go for it, at least you have the confidence for a better life. I totally support you on this.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
7 Dec 11
Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. Have a nice day :-)
@sijabatnaburjut (2171)
• Indonesia
5 Dec 11
It was true what your husband said that the only thing you need was to relax and didn't let people bother you. I think you needn't a therapy, you got free therapy from your husband already. You have to counsel with your husband and I think this time indeed you need was to be with husband get answer for every question that arisen in your mind. Good Luck
2 people like this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Dec 11
I tried everything, even talking to Hubby and doing all this self-awareness/self-help stuff, and even though I'm learning some things, it bothers me that I'm not able to fix stuff in my own life. I think therapy will finally help me get a fresh perspective on things.
2 people like this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
5 Dec 11
meeting for this therapy is very nice.
I see that my long waited for this therapy.
most important thing is to have faith in yourself to be yourself to have more self-esteem and pride even how to say it can have confidence because it helps an awful lot sometimes.
nice day!
2 people like this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
5 Dec 11
Let's just set a goal s observe and see that your life will change in a positive direction.
Think positive and everything is fine you will succeed again.
nice day!
2 people like this
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
If you think this therapy is good for you, you should go on with it. I think this will really make you happy, so the more reason for you to continue.
Don't worry about the things to come, but better you look forward to being cured of you problem.
Good luck with your therapy
cheers :)
