MY boyfriend's best-friend's wedding!
By emilytd18
@emilytd18 (114)
Philippines
December 6, 2011 10:47pm CST
Ok. Here's the thing,it has been months ago when I heard a thing about my boyfriend's best friend. And this best friend of him happened to be a girl. Actually, she was his first love. They went to college together and he was always there for her all throughout, but unfortunately, the girl didn't like him and wasn't feeling the same as he did before. So, my boyfriend moved on and so many years passed until he met me. We've been friend's for more than a year until that friendship developed into something else. I know that he's a genuine guy and he do love me, but I just don't know why I do feel like this when he said that his best friend invited him to attend her wedding ceremony which will happen next year February. We've talked about it and he knows that I'm a little uncomfortable with it and he said that he doesn't really have to attend the girl's wedding ceremony and that the only reason he's considering it is the chance to be at his hometown and visit his family. He said that he won't attend it but I told him that he don't have to do it because I know that I'm being unfair but he insisted about the "thinking whether to attend or not when the time comes" part instead, to make things better for me.
I don't know what to say. And I do know that it's just December. It's like I'm torn between letting him attend it and feel like this, or just be selfish not to allow him. I don't really want to be unfair to anyone, especially him. But, I just can't help feeling this way.
Any advice?????.....
1 person likes this
9 responses
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Don't be selfish my friend. After all it's his best friend's wedding and as you said in the past she didn't like your boyfriend and until now, because she's already marrying the love of her life. 
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Yeah, you may be right. I might be just being selfish here. But it's just really hard to be so far away with someone that you love. If I can only be with him always, then I think I won't worry with such little things.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
a okay, so your boyfriend if in a far place and that bestfriend is on the same place as his?
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
Yes he is in a far place, and the girl is in the same country as he does...
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
I don't know if I can give you a good and fair advice cause like you, I am not comfortable if my man is with someone he used to love. Until now I don't like him to have connection with neither of them although I am friends with the other one and his last ex is my co-worker who happens to be my close chum but the friendship doesn't last.
Ok, here's the right thing to do, maybe you can let him decide if he wants to attend or not, is that really he's BESTFRIEND because they are best of friends or because he is inlove with him before friendship starts. If you think it's necessary for him to attend then let him but you should accompany him, if not so important then let it go. What matters most is the present, you can look back at the past but doesn't mean you have to live with it at present. Respect is the most important for me.
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
I see, well you both have to talk about that. If you are not comfortable then tell him straight or make an arrangement if he wants to attend.
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
laniekins that's what i am also talking about. I am not just comfortable with it. But you are so right, it's the respect and trust. And at this time, it is very much impossible for me to accompany him as we are in different countries right now. Plus I am currently studying so I really can't get out of my country just to be with him..
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Why don't you go with him to the wedding? Since it's his hometown, it's a great opportunity for you to meet his parents.
If this isn't an option for some reason, then I suggest just trusting him. If it's a wedding then I don't think his bestfriend will fool around with him. I mean, typically a girl wouldn't go sleeping around days before her wedding. Or am I being too naive?
If he seems really okay with the idea of him not attending the wedding, then don't make him attend. I don't think he'll hold it against you. Personally, I find your boyfriend really sweet, thinking about how you feel.
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
I know that's a great idea, but sadly I can't go with him right now. As I have said, we are currently in a long distance relationship right now as I am studying in a different country.
And you are right, I know for sure that he will not do such a thing even if the girl will insist..haha.. And yes, he's really ok with not attending the wedding at all, but I feel responsible for him considering that idea.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Dec 11
I say let him ago. Me and my husband is going to his beat friends wedding. Our daughter is a flower girl. They both had a thing for each other it doest. Bother me because I know he is almoner. At first I was uncomfrotablw with it but he always told me I was the one even though he had seen other women.
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
8 Dec 11
Good for you to have such a loving husband. Hope I'll find the same.. lol ;-)
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 11
It's very common to have such feeling. Because you care about him so much and you don't want him to have anything to do with any other girl especially someone who had made him loved before. There is really nothing to the matter but you can try to control such feeling though. at the same time I can see that your boyfriend has been really considerate. He knows that you will not feel good about this and decided that attending the wedding isn't really necessary and assuring you the only reason of his consideration is to visit his family. Things will go well, just make sure everything must be discussed probably and no sudden eruption of unnecessary emotion which will make something beautiful become nothing.
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
8 Dec 11
Thanks for that really good advice. And don't worry because I do make sure that I have that control. I'm not really the jealous type, but of course, this case is a different one. I think I just need to be more open minded and talk things through with him. Thanks once again.. ^_^
@icyrose123 (133)
• India
7 Dec 11
Hi emilytd18,
Relax...Your feeling is any girls feeling. If I was in your shoes I will also think the same. But thinking beyond these girly feelings put your relationship with your boyfriend on top. From your post I understand that your boyfriend is loyal to you and has asked your opinion on the same. If you know that he will be at peace if he attends the wedding then let him go.There is a famous saying 'If you love somebody set them free, if they come back to you then it means that they love you for ever.If they dont come back to you it means that they never loved you'. If feel he is loyal to you and that's the reason he dint hide anything from you. So respect his feelings.
I would suggest you to allow your boyfriend to attend the wedding and be sure to express your feelings. Like you are doing it only for his peace and that you trust him the most. This is just my cents.
@emilytd18 (114)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Thank You for the advice icyrose123, yeah you're right. I think I just need to trust him on this.Anyway, that's how relationships go,there's always trials, some are simple and others are complicated. I do trust him. I think i'm just jealous this time..hahaha...
@icyrose123 (133)
• India
7 Dec 11
yeah..such things must increase the bond between you and your boyfriend. And i agree its not going to be that easy to just let your boyfriend attend the wedding.But as you said there's always trials
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Why don't you go with him to the wedding? Since it's his hometown, it's a great opportunity for you to meet his parents.
If this isn't an option for some reason, then I suggest just trusting him. If it's a wedding then I don't think his bestfriend will fool around with him. I mean, typically a girl wouldn't go sleeping around days before her wedding. Or am I being too naive?
If he seems really okay with the idea of him not attending the wedding, then don't make him attend. I don't think he'll hold it against you. Personally, I find your boyfriend really sweet, thinking about how you feel.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Why don't you go with him to the wedding? Since it's his hometown, it's a great opportunity for you to meet his parents.
If this isn't an option for some reason, then I suggest just trusting him. If it's a wedding then I don't think his bestfriend will fool around with him. I mean, typically a girl wouldn't go sleeping around days before her wedding. Or am I being too naive?
If he seems really okay with the idea of him not attending the wedding, then don't make him attend. I don't think he'll hold it against you. Personally, I find your boyfriend really sweet, thinking about how you feel.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
Why don't you go with him to the wedding? Since it's his hometown, it's a great opportunity for you to meet his parents.
If this isn't an option for some reason, then I suggest just trusting him. If it's a wedding then I don't think his bestfriend will fool around with him. I mean, typically a girl wouldn't go sleeping around days before her wedding. Or am I being too naive?
If he seems really okay with the idea of him not attending the wedding, then don't make him attend. I don't think he'll hold it against you. Personally, I find your boyfriend really sweet, thinking about how you feel.
