He decided to join the army :(

Yes, cross the bridge when you get there. In the mean time, savor all the time you have left together.

I'm definitely trying to. I just get really sad sometimes when I think of how it'll be when he's gone and how I won't be able to do all the things we do now-like going to our favorite restaurant, hanging out,getting calls and texts from him every day-stuff like that. Each time I think about how alone I'll be without my best friend, I get really sad and sometimes it makes it hard to enjoy the moments I do have. But I'm trying to do everything I can so I won't regret not doing anything when he leaves. lol for example he loves having his head scratched while we watch tv and he always asks me and I usually complain and don't want to do it. Now, I scratch his head and play with his hair without him even asking sometimes. I just don't want to think back on these times when he's gone and regret not doing something that I know he likes a lot. It's going to be very hard and I know that I'll look forward to his letters all the time.

It's definitely a lot harder for me now that he's going to join. I don't think badly about the country's military service men and women, 2 of my cousins are Marines and 2 good friends of mine were formerly in the Air Force. But now that my bf is going in, it's something that I don't want him to do at all, I guess because I care so much about him and don't want him to leave. I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that he's leaving and I'm not as angry, but it's coming in teeny tiny steps. Once that's over, my next challenge will be deciding what to do if he ends up stationed in another state. My heart says to follow him and continue with school where ever he ends up. But, I just don't want my parents to be angry with me for doing it. I'll be at least 20 when this happens so I really should be able to follow through with my decision. I guess we'll just have to see what happens when the time comes.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be proud that he's in the military, just because I feel like I hate him so much for choosing it. Don't get me wrong, I have great respect for those in the military, 2 of my cousins are in the Marines and one has been to Afghanistan a few times since he's an EOD. I have no idea what it stands for, I just know that he diffuses bombs and stuff like that. He says he's only going to be in the army for 6 years max because he wants to come out and be a police officer while he's still young. The only overseas thing he says he'll have to do is 3 months at Guantanamo Bay since he's going in as a corrections officer. Right now, I'm still trying to deal with everything and hopefully accept what he's doing.

Hi Courtknee, I hope you can deal with it. Remember how upset you got from his step father telling him what he can and can't do? You didn't like it, but he may not like your disapproval of what he is doing. He wants to make a future for himself. I would respect that. I know it will take time. If you can't get your head around it, it might be good to let him go and find someone else to be happy with. This anger is going to eat you up, if you can't deal with it, and it's going to eat him up too, because he needs to do what is right for him. It's going to be better for him to create a future in the military than to sit around on the couch or working at jobs that don't lead to a secure future. I'm proud of him, and I don't even know him. What is it that you are so upset about? That you won't see him everyday? I remember a few weeks ago you were irritated with him, and you didn't know why. Maybe some time apart, while he is off to the military will give you an idea if this is truly the relationship you want to commit to. I'm going to say this as gently as I know how... and please don't get mad at me, because I don't mean to offend. I think a lot of you Courtknee. I hope you can learn to support him, but if you can't... then it might be a kind thing to let him go and you find someone who makes you happy. Remember, his choice isn't about you.. it's about him. If you truly love him, you will be there for him when he comes home or gets out of the military. This separation can be a real test of commitment.

It's ok, you didn't offend me at all. I'm always open to hear other people's perspectives and yours has been very helpful. Right now, I think I'm more shocked since he's always talked about it and now it's finally happening. He is my best friend-I tell him everything and I always feel the need to be around him. While he'll be gone, it'll almost be like a piece of me is missing and I won't be able to just call him up and tell him something important. It just feels like this is all happening so fast and I'm feeling a bunch of different emotions at once. I really do love him and I think that this will be a big test of our relationship and hopefully we'll be able to get past it. He talks about us like he knows we'll always be together and I guess I'll just have to trust him on that. I know the military is a great thing to be in, but when it comes to the one I love, I feel a lot different because I don't want us to be far apart. I think that with time, I won't feel so anger towards him and I'll be able to tolerate the fact that he's in the military.

I understand what you mean, he knows he's going to miss me while he's in boot camp and he still wants to be with me, even when he gets out of the military. I guess it'll eventually be okay, but right now I'm feeling a lot of anger towards him and I'm not sure what to do.

Hmm, I've never seen or heard of that. My boyfriend has always been interested in the military and he watches youtube videos all the time, lol I'm sure he's seen the music video you're talking about. I'll have to ask him. He's not being sent overseas, it's just the fact that he's leaving for boot camp and he'll be gone for a few months. It's hard to explain but I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. I still love him but sometimes I get angry when I think about him joining and then I begin to dislike him. But then at other times I feel like I'm able to handle the situation and it'll be fine and I'll just move with him if he gets stationed out of state. So right now I'm just trying to deal with all my emotions and decide whether or not to stay with him. I really do love him and I know that he loves me too, but this is a big deal and I'm really going to have to think about it.

Yes, he's definitely trying to make it seem like it's not that bad and whatever happens, we'd be together somehow, even if it means me moving with him. The thing is, I've always known I never wanted to be with someone in the military and now I'm just angry that he's going. Usually, I support him in just about everything he does, but for some reason I can't bring myself to support him with the army. When I think about breaking up with him I get even sadder because I don't want to be without him. I'm hoping that with time, I'll be able to accept the fact that he's leaving and not hate him so much for it.

Yes, we're still together and I just saw him last week as he graduated from basic training. It's definitely hard without him and I miss him everyday but I realized that I'd rather miss him and still love him than break up with him and completely cut him from my life. I love him more than anything and he's my best friend so I just couldn't break up with him. He's going to turn 20 in November and I worry about him all the time. I just want him to always stay safe and I know I'll be a nervous wreck for the next 3 years that he's in.

Thank you for your answer. Unfortunately, my go-to person to talk about things with is my boyfriend. He knows that I'm extremely upset but at the same time he reassures me that it'll be ok and if he gets moved out of state then he'd just take me with him. I'm just dealing with a ton of different emotions right now and I'm trying to get them all in check.